Hi guys,

I was just thinking today and the actual idea of feeling like you need something in your head to say to a girl/girls before you approach automatically creates the assumption that she/they are the prize and that you need to impress her/them by saying something funny or whatever.

Also, the mentality of calling it an "approach" and trying to "pick her/them up" makes it seem more than it is. And again makes her/them the prize.

This is obviously the wrong mentality and you should be coming from the mindset that YOU are the prize. This way there is not need for approach anxiety and she/they can detect your attitude in your body language which will make you much more attractive anyway.

Better beliefs would be:

- Instead of labelling it "approach" and having the mentality that you are trying to "pick her up"...

.... come from the mentality that you are going to talk to her/them simply to entertain yourself. You are using her/them just as a tool to entertain yourself. You like flirting and having a laugh and she/they are there. Simple as that. If she isn't responding how you like or isn't giving you enough entertainment then move on to another girl who is more entertaining.

- Instead of "I need something good to say"...

....go up to to her/them with nothing in your head and use the 3 second rule to stop you trying to think of something to say.

- Instead of going out with the focus on picking up girls...

Go out with a focus on HAVING FUN with your friends, and anyone that you meet.

By focusing on having fun, you will put yourself in a better state of mind and girls will see that you look like a fun person and that you are the source of good emotions.

If I go out with the intention of approaching and picking up girls, I immediately feel the pressure and it puts me out of state. My having fun I get in state.

As soon as you see a girl that you want to approach, DO IT...but remember, just go over to have a laugh and see if SHE is entertaining enough FOR YOU. Carry on the same funny, playful mood that you were having with your friends but with her.


What do you think about these?

And have you got anything else?

Jonny

brilliant man, I can honestly say you changed my life with this article.

Thanks!

this is good man, bookmarked, ill give you some rep

BTW I just want to add that if any girl is a dick then it REFLECTS UPON THEM! They are obviously not good enough. Any girl with a decent personality WILL NOT be a dick (unless of course you are being a dick to begin with).


An example of this is when I was in a club. I was in the smoking area and went up to these 2 girls. One was about 7/10, bu the other was a smoking 9.5/10. Absolutely beautiful.

The less hot one was the one I started talking to...not because I wanted to make the other one jealous btw, but simply because she was the more responsive and I wanted to have a laugh.

The other girl was just moody, and my mate was talking to her. My firend mentioned his business idea, and while the less hot girl said something like "wow that's interesting", the hot one said "That's rubbish. I can tell you now it's not gonna work".

I was a bit intimidated by this hot girl at first, but after she said this I suddenly thought what a shit personality she had. Plus she was probably used to being the one getting the attention and didnt like her mate getting it.

I'm guessing this was a test to see how I reacted, but I just ignored her and carries on talking to her mate. I wanted to have a laugh, be entertained, and if the hot one wasnt giving me that Im not gonna pay attention to her tbh.

i can't remember if she responded to me ignoring her or not, but wither way I didnt care cos I knew she was a dick.



I think this mentality will let you pass any tests that girls give you, and rewards only the behavior that you like from girls, whilst punishing any bad behaviour because you genuinely just want to have fun. So they will end up acting in a positive way around you.



Interestingly, Iv and didnt really feel in the mood to approach, but we were very conscious tbeen out with just me and my mate a couple of times hat we should be doing it. Obviously that night was not a success.


Two other nights me and my mate again, but with two friends that we hadnt seen for ages, and so we were just focusing on having fun. Both nights an 8/10 girl asked for my number after i was talking to them for just a few minutes, which hasnt happened before as far as I can remember.

One of them actually changed her mind after I "didn't seem to be bothered enough" lol. Apparently I "would have asked for hers if I wanted it enough".

Thanks
Jonny

This is good advice for when you are just starting up.

I think starting out is the hardest part and you really need to force yourself to approach women you are attracted to.. because in the end.. thats exactly what you are doing. Even if you lie to yourself about what you are doing.. it doesn't change the fact that you want to meet women you are attracted to.

Once you become comfortable chatting with attractive women and getting numbers.. most of the problems fix themselves. You BECOME a prize because you have so many women to choose from. The more you have the more you attract. Eventually you get to a point where you have so many women in your life you have a hard time choosing.

And thats the best place to be. But it takes work to get there and there is nothing wrong with admitting that you are "working" to get girls. They do it for us all the time by getting surgery, wearing make up, dieting, etc.

You won't believe you are a "prize" until you feel like one. And you wont feel like one until you start attracting lots of women.

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Women are smarter than you think... but not as smart as THEY think

Wow man, great post. I'm still just starting out (with a few successful closes under my belt so I know that I'm capable!) and this really helps out with inner game.

I feel that the absolute hardest part is approaching, but once you're in, everything seems to just flow.

Have fun/I am the prize/don't settle for girls with shit attitudes no matter how much of a HB they are

Thanks man!

omg man this is exactly the mindset ive been looking for, im exactly like how u said, always worrying about what to say next etc, and when things start going south, i worry and try even harder...

I am definitely going to start looking at things like this. I feel like this will help eliminate the times when i temporarily fling with a girl that is hot but we really wouldnt vibe if i was being myself and it eventually goes bad because i cant not be myself forever lol

This is great mentality but there is a problem to it.
It is easy to say "I am the prize", but it is much harder to really believe it. When I was out there with all the anxiety + nothing to say, it happened a lot to me that I just froze up. Having something to say made it easier for me to do first approaches.
In my opinion you have to make some approaches before you become comfortable enough to just go in without knowing what you will say, this is at least how it worked for me.

This is what I think:

If you CAN go out just to have fun and APPROACH girls without any plan on what to say, than this is GREAT and you don't have to learn any openers and that kind of nonsense. Gz on natural game!

BUT, if you are unable to open and are frustrated from all the times you tried but you just didn't know what to say and therefore didn't open, than learning a few openers to struggle trough first approaches is the only way to go. After that, you can of course forget the openers if you want, because you are more comfortable with opening.

Please note: Being the prize is absolutely very important, so I don't to be destructive to your post, but I had to throw out a piece of warning.

Hey nice post, i dont agree with the first part when you say approaching with the mind set that you have to say something/having something planned to say is making her the prize.

Its good to approach with the attitude that your just doing it to have fun, but in the end your aproaching and your opening so having an opener ready just makes things easier.

Approaching with the mind set that you have to impress her, and have constant control of the conversation makes her the prize. Sometimes its better to kick back and let her do the work

THanks man!!keep up the posts,it was very informative!

Great information man to get confortable with our own inner game. Thanks!!!

I´m using some of your recommendations and make the approach easier.

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Finding my own circadian rhythm and flow...

The soundtrack of my inner game is Eminem's "So Bad".

Put it on repeat until you believe it.

"What you mean we aint fuckin', you take me for a friend?"

That's actually pretty good.

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Mungo's presentation:
here-vp376783.html#376783

Good shit, yea people tend to let their mind take advantage of the conversation, and i think controlling your mind and getting better and better at pickup is just from practice. You only learn from rejection, so fuck it, guaranteed your gonna get rejected and if you do go find another girl to try your game on. There are too many fish in the sea, practice makes perfect so get out there and run through these females. You are the prize (FIRST THING ON YOUR MIND BEFORE ALL). I def give u some rep for this post.

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PriceisRight

Very good, i love it!