I'm not sure if this is just me but most of the posts on here (including mine a while ago) seem to very MM/line orientated. I'm a big fan of natural game and think that it's far more powerful.

I don't post on here very often but I do like to post if I think I can contribute, seeing as opening is one of the biggest hurdles for newcomers I'd like to share some theory.

First off I have a question for each and everyone of you reading this:

How much do you actually open?

I mean really, how much? I'm not going to shoot anyone down if they're brave enough to say "never" or "once or twice a week if someone gives me a massive green light". Because I think this is a serious problem, it's not AA it's Not Actually Doing Anything - NADA, Zilch, Zero.

If you don't approach, you wont get better, you simply wont, you can read as much as you like, you can theorise as much as you like but you can't improve. I just read a leaflet on how to set up this awesome new coffee table I bought from IKEA, now I've read it, I have a better understanding of how to put it together, but it wont put itself together. I have to take action and pick up those bastard allen keys and get to it. Nothing else other than actual physical action will put that beautiful coffee table together.
It's the same with game, you can read and read, and get a better understanding of how to put this beautiful game together, but until you actually get out there and start working on it.. Nothing is going to happen - NADA.

Now I have a something I want to share with you that I think will help, straight out of the natural game ethos. First off, and make sure you re-read this a couple of times, You are fine just the way you are, yes that's right. No I'm not kidding. To quote an amazing piece in Vin Di Carlo's mastermind newsletter last month (courtesy of Rewok):

"You're fine as you are. This is the one tip I can't help you with. Listen, I know the kind of situation you're in. I may not understand the specific situation and all of the details... But I've been through the pain of sitting alone on Friday night, wondering why your friends are out having fun and you decided to stay in.

I've walked down the street, hoping the pretty girl walking towards me would have some kind of "flaw" so I could 'excuse' myself for not approaching her. And I just remember how awful it felt to realize that if I wanted a girl to even just cuddle or hang out with.. I had no idea how, no tools, and no confidence to make it happen for myself.

So this tip.. It's simply to understand you're fine as you are. You are here because your specific genes were successfully passed down through hundreds of generations. No matter what 'flaws' you find in yourself, or you let others tell you that you have. And when you get this - really GET IT - There wont be a woman on the face of this Earth who wouldn't be proud to call you her boyfriend.

And I am dead serious about this fact."

Rewok took exactly how I feel and put it on paper in this article, in fact you should see if you can get your hands on his "#4 Tips for dominance" from this article, it's really all you need to start becoming a more dominant man (more on that another time).

The problem is that people make approaching something external to their character, a facet of something they want to get better at (i.e. game), but it's so simple; when you are an open friendly person, opening and approaching becomes part of who you are.

When you're not pretending to be someone else, and you're comfortable in your own skin then it all becomes much simpler, that was why I felt so unnatural when using lines and openers (although they do have their place). So remember - You are fine just the way you are, but that doesn't mean you can't improve, you whole life should be about improving, otherwise you just stagnate, but if should be a part of who you are.

When I walk down the street on my way home from work I make a point of talking to people, but only if they interest me. You wouldn't force yourself to talk to people that don't interest you if your a dominant man (there it is again.. ), and that's the point, when I'm in a club my only stock opener is: "Having a good night?".

It's that simple.

- I hope that made sense to a lot of people, it's still difficult to put into words but I thought rather than sit on it for a few weeks I'd let you guys read it and draw your own conclusions.

Feel free to ask any questions or PM me, I'd really like to hear peoples thoughts on this.

_________________
- Scratch

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty

You re most likelly right. However, asking people with no experience at all to 'just be natural' is sticking your head in the sand.

Canned material and lines has a purpose. It's to get the ball rolling. It's to have something to hide behind until you figure out. Telling a 35 year old computer geek virgin to 'just go out there are be natural, you just have to love yourself and girls will find you attractive' and such will not get them out of mom's basement. Canned material and routines will because it will provide them a shield to hide their ego behind. Eventually they may realise that thay have to leave the ego at home to be sucessfull, but hey, let that come later. Fake it until you make it.

I woudn't badmouth (and not saying you are) canned stuff. Build on it. Learn that the world is not as black as you think it is. Learn what is sociably acceptable to talk to women about and what is not. If you let the 35 year old geek virgin guy 'go talk to that girl and be yourself' he might just as well open her with "Hey would you like to be my girlfriend" to "Hey would a lv 15 wizard and a lv12 thief stand a chance againts a red dragon?". It won't do any good.

I agree about your point about going out there. That was the best part of your article. Honning your social skills and inner game through canned material and PUA techniques is fine. Should the target be to reach a tight natural game? Yes, most likely. But the baby steps need to be taken.

I looked over what you said and had a think about it, maybe I wasn't clear enough. What I was trying to get across was the fact that sometimes people make it harder for themselves than they have to be. I agree lines have their place in pick up, and in fact that was in one of my earlier drafts but I felt it detracted from the point.

The point was that to improve doesn't mean you have to go against who you are, you are fine just the way you are, what needs to happen is for you to feel more comfortable being who you are.
Adam Lyons is a nice example of this, he makes no excuses for himself and never hides the fact that he's a total geek.
BUT, that only works because he has worked hard at becoming a well-adjusted and experienced social guy.

The thing is if you start to incorporate being friendly into your personality, which you naturally want to do as a social animal anyway, then you'll find your confidence going through the roof. Just make comments to people on things you notice, make eye contact and smile with people as you walk down the street. It's these very small steps that will help you progress in leaps and bounds as your confidence grows.

But..

And I really want to point this out, I never said, "just be natural", that is not what I'm saying, because you need to be socially adjusted as well, as TheJ said, and have a good understanding of game, along with dominance, leading and a few lines to help you on the road.
Like I said, just ask people how they are and ask if they're having a good night, at first you'll be scared, then you'll get more comfortable with it. And the more you do it the more you'll realise people aren't as frightening as you think. Most are rather friendly and if you show an interest you'll find they're far more open to you.

What i'm trying to get across here is not a line you can use, or a trick you can implement in your sets, but a mindset for you to implement.

Lastly -

My problem with lines, and again this whole article was about a different perspective to opening and not using lines. But I'll give my two cents, is that it stops you from being yourself. You know why you have lukewarm, reactions to the jealous girlfriend opener? It because you really couldn't care less about what an imaginary woman does with her boyfriends old imaginary photos. If you are going to use lines build them from your own life. You'll have a real interest in why your asking these questions and you wont rely on outdated, overused lines that build an image of you in the girls mind that isn't based on fact. Everyone has these situations, any problem in yuor lfie or friends life is a potential opener.

But anyway, NO-ONE REMEMBERS THE OPENER.

What I do approve of is a few fun games or lines you can use mid-set. Just to keep the interaction fun. The more you fail, the more you learn.

Thanks for the input TheJ, be interested to hear others opinions on this.

_________________
- Scratch

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty

good post ....


having a good night is a great opener....along with wow you look bored... and "heeeeeeey"


personally I like natural game a lot better... but i do enjoy some of the games games... and so do most cuz they are genuinely fun... but usually use it WELL after opening. sometimes even in bed just to prolong the inevitable ...


but i think most ppl can open no problem.. even the guys with the least amount of confidence... they think that they cant open... but they can and they would.. except they donno where to go after the opener....

i believe thats the biggest hurdle.. ...i havent been going out much in the last few months . i been kinda sticking to a select few... and i can even feel it in myself... imagining the approach ... and im less confident now in that ill have something to say after she replies.... other than "cool" .... i used to be super confident....

so its true that if u dont do anything.. nothing will happen and if you dont use it. you will start to lose it... but its pretty apparent. or it should be to most that anything can open....... the more complex or thought out it is the more chance u have of fukn it up..

hey is a good opener.... i think honestly the problem is simply people ar afraid they donno what to say after.... like in the mall.. you stop a nice chickie with a "hey" and a smile.... she stops and stares.. then what... i think ppl envision this and psyche themself out and its summed up by saying "i cant approach"

when in fact ppl have things to say. but its just unnatural to stop someone randomly and say something... esp when ur thinkign about it.. its even tougher.....

hey.... <simle>
hi......
find everythin ok?
uhm. ya..
good. well you look like ur one of those "green tea" girls... did u get some greeen tea?
wait..what makes me look like that?!!
well just striaght up walk and ur "i own the world posture".. plus looks like u take care of ur skin.. etc. etc etc....


she could jsut say "what do you work here or something?"
and id say "uhm.come on. im dressed WAAAY to well to work here.. u just caught my eye and I thought maybe u needed help picking out some nice new clothes..*try and smile and not laugh* <poke at her fashion sense>


anyways.. natural is best i agree

I just see a lot of ppl asking for approach help and a lot of ppl giving lines and theories on approaching an dI dont think it helps most.. cuz approaching isnt the problem...

just like jumping out of the plane is easy... but ur not gonnaa jump if u donno what string to pull after you jump......ppl dont need to know the various ways of jumping from the plane... any idiot can do that.... if they donno what to do <say> next then why would they even bother jumping !!