I had originally sent this as a private message for Chris but he suggested making a separate topic so the rest of us guys looking to learn can have this as a reference point as well:


Hey Chris,

I posed this question in your video thread for "Friendly Conversation..." but it was in an edit and I'm not sure if you really want to de-rail that thread anyhow.

Just wondering if you change your approach or if there is anything different that can be done with your approach when you are speaking to women who are working? There's two girls that work at the gym that I go to and I've already had a good conversation with each one of them, went into state as best I can as a newbie, and got them to reveal a lot about themselves.

Is it something I do over repeated exposure hoping to get them into a comfort zone to want to do something with me outside of chatting at their workplace?

Thanks.

Firstly, it can be different depending on the job that they are doing. In general my way of interacting is always the same...underlying sexual intent, being playful and chill....and this works for most working girl situations.

The only time i change it up, is if i am interacting with a barmaid or someone who works in a club. Their job is to be social and to flirt with guys for tips. In this case...i put in close to ZERO investment, and i use only eye contact to open. I force them to open me...

Only the last week i was standing at the bar, and i was locking my eyes hard on a barmaid. She eventually came over and said hello, can i help you. I just smirked and kind of made a "meh" face.

She knew what was going on. She asked me my name, and I responded with, "Im not really sure how to hit on you, without you treating me like a customer?" she laughed and asked me my name again, i told her. I said "tell me something about you that has nothing to do with what you are doing right now"

With that, came a refreshing demand into being human, and significant, and i was curious to pull her out of that mindspace of tipping customer. I have worked in bars and clubs before so i know how these otherwise nice women behave in the barmaid pradigm.

In terms of your gym workers, its a really chill and easy space to do your usual thing.
If I had to give you a structure:

open - playful, chilled, low investment
curiosity - find out about her emotionally. Not what she does, but why she does the things she does and how she feels about it.
Qualify - compliment her on something she has shared with you that you GENUINELY like about her, and arrange to meet up.

an example is "you know what, I gotta go now, but you seem interesting...we should grab a drink this week when we are both free....(wait for her response)

Then take her number to arrange a time later. I NEVER ask for the number. During conversation i simply take my phone out, unlock it, and hand it to them to enter their number. I never verbalize anything.

Good luck man

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Cool, thanks for this.

For both the girls that work at the gym.. I developed a good rapport with both of them, steered the conversation and showed genuine interest in what they were telling me. I had the HB8 eating out of my hand by cold reading she was 'empathic' simply by the things she was saying which just made the conversation go longer.. but on both occasions, I had to go work out so I didn't try to number close or anything but I do know that I'll see them again.

I'll try your advice the next time they are working there. Best thing is that I go at a time when there's not a lot of people around, so it won't be awkward for her with a million people standing around as they give me their number.