Okay so there's this one girl in my class who I wanna get close to. She's only in one of my classes and sits at like the opposite side of the room to me so there's no way I can go up to her during the lesson and I don't know how I can approach her. I found her facebook and was thinking about adding her but after some thought decided it was best not to because it's really creepy. I don't really know what the best way of starting to talk to her is. I could probably approach her after class but I wouldn't really know what to say and my approach anxiety will probably kick in so I'm kind of stuck.

Any ideas?

Pre-selection!

You know that this girl is always going to be there, which is great because now there's no need to rush it.

Now you can demonstrate your value in advance. If there are some HBs who sit near you, open them, get them laughing, maybe try out the cube on them or the Pen 15 club. Let the target see that there are other girls that like to hang out with you. Try to make eye-contact with her at some point when you're clearly with these other girls so that she knows that you're the guy to be around.

Then, after class one day when you're walking out with the girls you've now met and you're being flirty and joking around with them, ask her to take a photo of the two of you, or jokingly push the girls away and say to the target: 'Hey, these girls are dragging me down, I'm going to have to be friends with you from now on instead!'

I respectfully disagree with this poster.

Don't assume you have as much time as you'd like... Just go talk to her.

There's 10 other guys in that class all thinking the same thing... and you're all gonna sit there jerking each other off while the one guy who has the balls to actually ask her out fucks her.

This isn't a chess game. It's talking to a girl and you're over-complicating it.

Say "Hi, I'm X" and smile... Not a creepy smile either... a real one.

Shake her hand and hold it longer than you should... look her in the eyes...

If after talking to her for a few mins, you find out she's a cunt, you don't have to worry about it - or ask her out or get her number... But if it tuns out she's got potential, then you say "you seem pretty cool - why don't I get your number"...

That's it. Don't over-complicate this shit...

Girls don't want a guy who's gonna hang back and play it cool and wait for things to develop. They want someone to take control and go after what he wants.

You can go direct, but I'm not sure that works as well with school girls as it does grown ups. I agree about the pre-selection thing though.

See if you can find some excuse to talk to her about something that seems relative to school or something else situationally that is going on. Otherwise it will be obvious that you have a crush on her and you'll be stumbling through a lame initial conversation while trying to phone number grub. Yet, if you can find one small thing to talk to her about that breaks the ice, you can use that as a reason to get to know her and continue with ongoing conversations about it.

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Pre selection is great. Direct is great.

In this situation, you don't really have to do either though. You could, but could probably get the same response with less embarrassment or effort on your part in the case of going direct. And like one poster said, it isn't a game of chess so you don't really have to spend a that extra time trying to "build social proof" by talking to girls in your vicinity.

Light interaction is the way to go for the most part. Your in uni, both of u are students, in the same class. Next time you see her just speak. "How was class, did u like .....l"

If you happen to be sitting next to her, speak.

If you pass her in the hallway, smile.

If you find urself beside her on the way out of class, make a comment. "Thank god hard over !"

From then on, you know her. When you see her subsequently stop and chat.

What you need to do is nt make it a big deal. Don't make her stand out so much in ur thoughts because ur gonna build it into this monumental hurdle that you won't be able to cross later on.

Just take it easy and interact with her whenever u get the chance. One thing that can help, is start talking too other people in class. Other girls, guys, get in the habit of being communicative and expressive and when it comes to her, that state will carry forward to your interaction with her.

Translation

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start up small to test the waters with a little flirt. if she bites then keep the interaction going by building comfort and carry on with more flirting. i would start off small because you dont want things getting weird if she rejects you by going really direct and seeing her the next day and every day after that.

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I would advocate direct. I pussy-footed around enough situations in school to know that it is a game where the early bird gets the worm. After class someday, vibe with her a bit on something and if she's responding well, say "we should hang out sometime." The worst that happens is people find out you are a man who likes women.

Keep it really simple. When she's walking away from the class, walk up side to her and say, "So what you think of the class...?" or "So you find the class interesting...?"

As a rule of thumb, some shoulds to keep in mind:

- Don't get attached to getting her or getting her to talk to you. Your part is to ask a question, or make
a comment. Whether or not she responds, and how she responds is her part.

- Don't pussy foot around her but be decisive. If you ask her a question, ask it with decisiveness.

- Let go of all the outcomes. Don't think about getting her number, about dating her or kissing her. Focus
on the present.

Definitely you want to keep it simple. Overcomplicating will only lead to feeling and looking weird.

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