Hi all,

I've had a recent recurring pattern where about 7-8 out of 10 girls I approach during the day have a boyfriend. I was wondering if there is really any way to overcome that.

They always smile or blush and like my approach, and most will keep talking for like 5-10 minutes with me, some will even say how amazing it is that I approached them and that its not a very English thing to do (I'm southern european, living in London).

But then I usually get something like "but I have a boyfriend and I don't think he'd like that" or "unfortunately I have a boyfriend" or "I've been with my boyfriend for X years but if I was single definitely you're very cute" and things like that.

I've tried to lighten the mood with things like "does he make you happy? does he make you laugh?" (with a teasing grin or over dramatic delivery) or "I do like connecting with people in general so we can just go for a coffee without it meaning anything" or "you wanna text him to get permission?" but nothing works. Funny thing is the answers I get are always "he wouldn't like that" or "i think i know what i'm supposed to do" with giggles. Almost word for word by different girls.

I was just wondering, should I just stop trying and deal with this? Its just that it happens in the majority of my approaches, the prettiest of girls and wtf, they're not all gonna marry these guys are they??

Could it be something with my approach not being edgy, cocky enough? It is super congruent though, cuz its entirely me.

Any insights will really be appreciated! Thanks in advance!

I'm pretty new to PUA and it sounds like your skills are more advanced than mine. But to me this sounds like one of those classic "shit tests". The girls are trying to test if you're a "nice guy" or w/e. 7/10 or 8/10 of the girls you talk to sounds pretty high. I would recommend maybe kind of giving them shit/ or challenging them. Maybe saying something like "You don't have a boyfriend, you're lying...." or "I don't believe you have a boyfriend." Maybe even just ignore the fact that she said that completely and just carry on with the conversation and get her number to hang out another time.

I'd also like to share a brief story I had the other night. I went up to probably to 8s dancing together in a corner of this bar/club. No guys were approaching them. I went up and just started a conversation. They said I should leave soon because their "boyfriends" were mean, and they were the jealous type and would get angry at me for talking to them. I smiled and said "you guys don't have boyfriends." Then they said they did, and they told me "oh no, you should go they're staring at you now!" I turned my head and didn't see anyone and I caught them in their bullshitting. I stuck around for a few more questions and left because I didn't want to deal with the boyfriend banter, clearly they just wanted me to get lost haha.

If the women are acting interesting, smiling, giving friendly eye-contact and then says she has a boyfriend, then she very likely has a boyfriend.
If she is acting disinterested, standoffish etc. and says she has a boyfriend then she might just not be attracted to you or your behavior. Or she might have a boyfriend and that's why she is disinterested, but most girls with boyfriends that don't think you are a creep will at least be friendly. If I were there to watch your approaches I would be able to make a much better judgment call as to whether they are telling the truth or not.
I don't think women tell men they have boyfriends as a shit test very often. I mean some might, so you can try being polite about it but mostly ignoring their boyfriend card and testing the waters some more to see if she is actually interested in you or not. Talk to her for a few more minutes, see if she is tossing some interest your way or not.

There is no need to try to pursue a girl that has a boyfriend.
This is worth repeating: there is no need to try to pursue a girl that has a boyfriend.
If she is in a happy relationship, none of your pickup tactics are going to make any significant difference. If she is in an unhappy relationship, she likely wouldn't have mentioned him in the first place. And the whole idea of, "They're not going to marry these guys are they??" is irrelevant because if a girl likes her boyfriend then she certainly considers the idea of marriage possibility – regardless as to whether or not it ever happens. See my point?
I'm assuming you live in a city, which let's me know that there are plenty of single girls. Going for girls that are single will save you a bunch of drama and time. And a single girl is more likely to be a repeat customer, whereas a girl with a boyfriend will probably only want a one-night stand (if she wants anything).

All you can really do is improve and refine your approach, your overall attractive behavior and your observational skills. Once you have enough experience and observational skills, you will be able to distinguish between genuine IOIs from women and fake ones. If 7-8 out of 10 girls are saying they have boyfriends I would guess that maybe 1-4 of those women are actually single, but I could be wrong.
Another thing I should mention is that if a girl is throwing out the "I have a boyfriend" quickly after the approach, then you are likely showing a lot of interest on the approach or right after. Do you open with a direct opener? I ask because with a bold opener, a girl is going to size you up and make a judgment call very quickly. Which means if you want consistent positive responses you need a clean, fashionable, groomed look. Helps if you are in shape. And your body language and game need to be solid. Otherwise most girls will brush you off.

Thanks everyone, you've definitely given me some things to think about. Oh, and yes, its a direct approach, not sure how indirect you can really go when you're doing street game. Fashion, grooming, fitness, etc are not a problem.

Nose game: After she tells you she has a boyfriend talk for about 5 more minutes and let them forget you said anything about the boyfriend at all.

The Rules: you say "Okay, every time I say something.. your finger is like a sliding scale from 1-10 on how you feel about it. 10 (or touching your nose) is being the best and way our here is 1 being shit." on you you stretch your finger as far as you can go.

What do you think about your job? Guess as what the number scale would be.

What about your parents? Guess as what the number scale would be.

Your education? Guess as what the number scale would be.

Insert a few others..

What about your boyfriend? At this point.. she hopefully won't touch her nose and if she does it's likely a new relationship and in the "honeymoon" stage. However, if she doesn't you touch her nose you say.. "Wouldn't you like a boyfriend that touches your nose?" and you touch her nose. If you already have good rapport, this is great. But you can't force it with this gambit.

I would say you are doing great and you should keep it up!

Women can still be flattered, flirt and attracted to a guy even though she has a boyfriend. Just be charming all the way and don't care too much about whether or not she has a boyfriend.

You can not know whether or not she is just telling you this to "reject" you or because she honestly has a boyfriend. Solution? Don't care! Too many women for you to bother "overcoming" this objection. Just move on!

- Andreas

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