I sat down to write out my lay reports. Next thing I know I’m writing a bit too much back story and this ended up being more about opening than closing. I guess I need to start somewhere.

It all started with my indirect opener. I didn’t want to use someone else’s prewritten opinion opener. I’m not a liar. So, I needed to come up with my own somehow, but what could it be. I made up my “cussing” opener, but that was too low energy for me. It required me to be sitting somewhere bored enough to be sitting on my phone playing games. I think I posted it on the forum somewhere. I wasn’t very happy with it.

At the beginning of last semester I found myself a study buddy. Our first interaction was just me telling her she was going to be my study buddy and giving her my number. She texted within minutes, but we just kept it light and a little flirty. Next day of class I sat next to her and ran my “cussing opener.” It got some conversation started at least.

We hung out every day and had interesting conversations. I was too much of a pussy to escalate. I spent most of the time negging her. I didn’t think much about why I was doing it. It was just fun giving her shit. She was pretty HSE. So, she could take it.

One day we were hanging out and she shows me a picture of this puppy. Telling me her boyfriend wouldn’t let her get it. She really wanted a dog because her dad never let her have one. He says dogs aren’t an indoor animal.

EUREKA!

After a few minor tweaks I turned her situation into my “Puppies” opener.

Me: Hey there
Girl: hi
ME: I need a quick opinion.
Girl: (pause)
ME: How do you convince someone to get a dog who doesn’t want one.
Girl: um…
ME: Well I have this buddy, his girlfriend moved in with him a few months ago. This morning/ yesterday/ over the weekend he went to the ARL and saw this little husky puppy and just fell in love with it instantly.
(I changed it to a guy so that I had a reason to need a female opinion)
Girl: Awe… =^D
ME: I know right. Well he took a picture of it and showed it to her. She told him “No” because she doesn’t think dogs are an indoor animal. What can I tell him to help get her to let him bring it home?


I finally had a solid opinion opener. I was running around campus everyday spilling this all over women. Yet, I still had no idea how to take it anywhere past the opener. I’d get the opinion and eject instantly. This helped hugely with my AA. After approaching at least a hundred women was when the fun finally began.

Anyone who wants to is welcome to use this. It’s loaded with chick crack like puppies and relationships. I’m done with it now. I’ve been developing a bit more natural and direct game lately. It’s much more sincere and unpredictable. I like it.

In the last two months I have had sex with more women than my entire high school career. (this opener got me my first. Then the next three were all natural.) I just hit double digits last week.

Keep an ear to the ground near the LR section for the upcoming “Adventures of BLUU.” I have a few fun stories to share that I hope at least one person can learn from. You'll find LMR, public indecency, and bestiality. For now I’m off to get my tongue pierced. Look out ladies.


Then I’m headed to Des Moines’ equivalent of an all night rave, The Sub Sonic Social. It’s time to perfect a little bit of dance floor game. It's at people's court if anyone in the area is interested.