Some fantastic advice on this site. I love it.

So I have just moved to a new city (Sydney) and don't know anyone.
So, no wingmen.
But that's okay I'm okay with a solo approach, BUT, I can't approach sets, it just freaks me out WAY too much.

How do you get over approaching sets??

I'm reasonably confident and reasonably good-looking BUT, no idea about approaching sets.
Finding "openers" a little daunting too as don't fit my style...

Any opinions would be great.

NSS

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Better to live as a Lion for one day, than a sheep for a thousand years.

For me opening solo and sets technically is nt different. For instance I see solo, I say:
"how you doing", I see set I say "how you (all) doing". Or if you go with opinion same thing, instead of "what do you think" go with "what do you (all) think".

So since teachnically its the same your only problem is aa and confidence, and fear of rejection. But think about like I said, that its the same and maybe you will break the ice

You're not going to like what I have to say, but there is no magic pill for approaching people and talking to them.

An analogy I love to use -- Becoming social with other people is very much like getting into a hot tub -- It's very difficult to adjust to the change in temperature and simply "jump right in". You have to toe the water (Start a conversation with someone, anyone.), and then steadily dip your leg in (Have a few more warm up conversations with more people.), before hopping in (Opening your sets.).

Key here is that you don't have to open HBs to get into a talkative state. Talk to anyone. Absolutely anyone. Not feeling too confident? Start with talking to a few guys, or less attractive women. This will get you into a social state so you can open up your sets much easier.

And as my metaphor goes, after the night is done and over with, you "dry off". The next night you go out, that anxiety doesn't go away -- you have to toe the water and ease in again.

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http://www.taooftalk.com | Tao of Talk | "Talk Isn't Cheap." -- Got Trouble Opening and Holding a Conversation? Let Me Help You. It's What I Do. Send Me a PM or Visit My Site.

Thanks for the advice about this.
I guess I have to find out what I can say that's different and 'me'.
I know there are routines to run, but I'm really hesitant to use these things, because they seem so cheesy and unbelievable.
I think I need to sarge with someone who knows this stuff and see it first hand for myself.
I find it very hard to read and believe, or at least conceive or imagine me saying some of this stuff.

But I'm making it a rule to speak to girls as much as possible- changed coffee shops to girls serving and drinking coffee, changed supermarket lines to girls serving, and asking the time from girls on the train etc.

I HAVE to learn to cold meet. I have to.

NSS

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Better to live as a Lion for one day, than a sheep for a thousand years.