This is awkward surefire (restaurant) game or how to go out with your mother as your wingwoman.

Disclaimer: Your mileage may vary depending on your comfort level.

When I first moved to the area where I live now I didn’t know a whole lot of people, but I had a cousin who was a bartender at a popular bar in town. I figured I had an in and the rest would follow. However, what I didn’t anticipate is her refusal to help me out due to her thinking bar girls weren’t good enough for me. Ugh, I know.

So, that left me with the most unlikely wingwoman—my mother. What?! I know, you probably think I’m out of my mind, but let me tell you what I’m talking about.

Not knowing many people in a new area left me with some down time during the evenings and since I wasn’t working at first I needed to fill the hours somehow. My mother had recently retired and was bored adjusting to her new free time.

So, I hung around with her for a bit and we would go out to restaurants every now and again.

I started to notice something.

If you take your mother out for a meal at a nice restaurant the waitresses will notice. Add a bit of small talk and flirting with good eye contact and you get your pick. That is IF you pick up the bill. Usually, I also order a beer or drink to let the waitress know I’m “more adult” and have excellent taste. Not to mention the back and forth you can have with her when she checks your ID.

The waitress and servers will trip over themselves to make sure you’re taken care of to the point of annoyance. Often they will stop by to just chat and offer up their number(s) later.

I think the reason it took so long to realize there was something more than good customer service going on is because I figured they were just looking for a big tip and it is awkward to pick up in front of your mother. Or at least it is for me since she tends to overreact when I have new prospects and frown over casual dating.

Warning: While this works most of the time every now and then you run into a problem. Sometimes the wait staff is simply not attractive or the waitresses think you’re gay and suddenly you’re talking to a male waiter. Other times if you fail to pick up the check or leave a small tip the waitresses will disappear so fast you swore they left a cloud of smoke just like the cartoons. And still other times your mother will unintentionally block you by figuring out what’s going on and try to “talk you up” to the waitress basically making you come off a beta.

_________________
Hi, I'm A. Fahren and I'm an author. I love to travel, socialize, and am hopelessly addicted to movies. That's about it.