Nice Post.

The referenced Mystery video. One of his best...

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjQ-dFocxA0[/youtube]

Correct. Accept it . . . now what?

There are probably hundeds of aa 'theories' floating around. They explain it in chemical terms, biology, evolutionary, etc . . . Why is it that so many guys who know NOTHING these 'theories' are able to approach and communicate with women? Why is it that so many guys who've read every 'theory' out there still cannot?
Some clarifications:

If you are GREAT at human interaction, you have no AA for human interaction.
If you are GREAT at talking with people, then you have no AA for talking with people.

If you are GREAT at chatting with STUNNING FOXES who happen to sweep past you, then you have NO AA FOR chatting with STUNNING FOXES who happen to sweep past you.

It has absolutley NOTHING to do with understanding 1 of thousands of home made theories.

A concert pianist will get butterflies in his stomach . . .sure. But he goes up there and performs because he knows all the steps; take a bow, sit his ass down, and let his fingers rock the house. Great, he KNOWS how to perform in front of people. What happens if you toss him a bass guitar and throw him on top of the stage with a rock band? Can he still perform? . . Or will he refuse to go up there?

And finally: If a drummer f's up the groove of a song, he's failed. If you get shot down by a girl you were interested in, you failed. Why would you go around telling yourself that you're a winner? What the hell is that?

great post!

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cheers mate

awesome, great advice for people who are having trouble approaching

I agree with this. I very much relate to the: "I'm not ready, Lets just wait another week, get really good at this and then try next week".

However I dont think you have captured your reason for the existence of approach anxiety fully. And therefore I don't think the solution is 100% accurate. Although the "Just Do It" philosophy is indeed the perfect remedy, I believe that an understanding of approach anxiety can facilite the "just Do It" mentality. I.E. "Just Do It" doesnt answer your fears of looking a fool, gettign a beating or damaging future confidence.

The way I see it, there are 3 reasons why AA exists - the first two curtosy of Mystery, but updated to modern day:

1. Fear that the girl may have a BF (Survival) - This is especially a big deal for me, as I probably couldnt beat Donald Duck in a fight

2. A failed approach might not only ruin your chances with her, but also her friends and other women in the club (Replication) - (the fear here is that the rejection could be visual and give you negative social proof in the eyes of the other women). The rejection is not a rejection from the girl, it amounts to a rejection from the entire place.

3. The rejection may knock your confidence in approaching and gaming future sets. Reducing the chances of success in those future sets and starting a downward spiral that ends up with you finishing lower than you started.

I believe that this third one, a limiting belief that I strongly have, is held by others too. It exists in all walks of life - think of the fear of a rejection from an interview.

However, in my own personal study, I have come up with the following four methods that I believe can overcome AA - given the above causes:

1. CHANGE THE FRAME - You aren't going there to pull, you are simply going there to get good at the game. Its simply a study of social dynamics. A rejection simply serves as a logical lesson and improves your future game - a rejection is GOOD!

2. NO LOSE SITUATION - Think "You will either get a number, learn a lesson, or get a jolly funny story out of it that you can have a laugh about with your friends"

3. NO NEGATIVE SOCIAL PROOF - In reality, unless their rejection is very physical or loud, adjacent sets will not know why you have left the group, they will only see that you were with them and concequently you have built positive social proof whatever the outcome, improving your chances in the next set

4. YOU ARE THERE ON SOCIAL BUSINESS ONLY - Dont forget: the game is structured in such a way that you only express interest in your target after A2 when you know she is attracted to you - logically speaking, you cannot get rejected at this point. If you feel rejected before this point, she is not rejecting you, she is rejecting the approach - the invitation to a social conversation.

I feel that this helps me overcome my AA - I hope it helps others too. I think the "Just Do It" philosophy serves as the perfect close to this method. Onee you have rationalised those limiting beliefs and fears, you can say "Just Do It" and you should be fully armed to enter the set and improve your skills in the art of social dynamics.

Happy Gaming.

MA

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MagicAnalyst

Damn I can relate to alot of things written by OP.

Great post!

Props. I like that.

I have friends that cannot get over the approach hump and will be forever sorry.

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"I only get girls that are out of my league"