my first attempt at approaching was such a nightmare



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PostPosted: Sun May 31, 2015 1:12 pm 
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Joined: Wed Mar 28, 2012 4:01 pm
Posts: 19
Location: san diego
i recently moved to japan as part of my military duty station. my dream is to take one of these girls home and have sex with them. honestly, Japanese women are some of the most beautiful women out there. they are just so classy, they always doll themselves up, even if they go grocery shopping!! another thing i love, is their broken ass english, something about that just turns me the fuck on. they are just soo petite, i can probably literally kill one if i try to shove my cock up their pussy.

anyways, here's how it all went down. i spent 4 hours walking around aimlessly with my thumb up my ass. i started by talking to the clerks at the stores, but deep down i know they genuinely weren't interested in flirting with me, they were just trying to sell me shit. so i got pissed and decided to stop visiting stores, i "challenged" myself to do 20 approaches, but i ended up doing a big fat ZERO. after visiting the shops and getting mad because half the time they were trying to sell me shit, i ended up going to the local starbucks. they were this smoking hot girl, i swear she was a fucking HB11, she made every guy's head turn. she was smoking sitting down, and i sat down on the table behind her. i was thinking of doing the book approach since i have a japanese-english book, and was going to open with "o-genki desu ka?" but i couldn't do it!!!!

as soon as i stood up, it felt like my feet were shackled to the floor, my heart started pounding, my forehead and hands started sweating, blood started rushing to my face, and i felt super hot, like i was in a sauna. it felt like i was getting ready to ride down a really huge roller coaster and i was at the very top waiting to drop. soon my legs started shaking like a puppy who's holding his shit, refraining from shitting on the carpet. i then felt like everyone's eyes were on me and waiting for me to fail so they can laugh at my weak attempt to open to this smoking hot babe. i ended up sitting back down, and i was shaking, like i've just gotten into a fight and the adrenaline starts to calm down.

after my failure with the hottie, i started to get desperate and coming up with excuses to avoid approaching girls.
"oh she's wayy too hot, she's probably seeing someone, nah she's not my type, i can do better" etc etc, my mind was fucking with me, playing games with me. so i ended up going to the local mall, i couldn't find any good looking girls except in the girl section. like where they sell make up, girl clothes, and just girly shit. then i felt embarrassed because i was the ONLY guy in there. so i felt like i was suffocating and left asap.

every time i went to store to prowl, i kept thinking "oh gosh, i feel like a creep. fuck!!!!! i think she knows im about to approach her!!!" and i would scare myself off.

i never knew walking up to a total stranger and saying something as simple as "hello, how are you?" could be so FUCKING HARD! it doesn't seem like it when i see pua videos.

some serious help please, for this newbie. especially if you had experience with japanese women (not korean, not chinese, not any sort of other asian girl except JAPANESE)

i was sooooo destroyed by my failure i forgot half of shit i was going to buy at the grocery store, and i forgot where i parked my car. i will try and fix myself, i have punished myself from playing ANY video games, jerking off, or going to a happy ending massage parlor in japan, and stop looking porn.

my god, these japanese women are so fucking hot, and watching them and not being able to sleep with them is the worse torture (unless of course you pay for it, but that shit is not worth it....)

tomorrow i will try it with some alcohol in my system, not plastered but enough to give me a bit of courage.

p.s as far as tips please give me BASIC SHIT. i don't care how basic it is, just don't say something like "oh after you do that, hold her hand, and put the other hand on her waist", i can barely look at them, let alone speak to them, so please just give me basic shit. basic stuff like "eye contact, body lang, smiling, etc etc."


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2015 3:32 am 
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Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2014 8:20 am
Posts: 139
Hey man, first off, I want to congratulate you for going out there, making an effort, and recognizing your shortcomings. Most guys refuse to recognize that they fucking suck with women, because they're scared of bruising their precious ego. I could write a book on this subject, but I'm only going to hit the main points here.

1. Your fear of the approach stems from social conditioning, your ego, and your lack of positive reference experiences. An oversimplified definition of social conditioning is the effect of societal norms on behavior, beliefs, and attitudes. Society tells you (subliminally and overtly) that you shouldn't approach women, and it's difficult to ignore that voice in your ear. Watch the blueprint by tyler durden to learn more about social conditioning and it's effect on your inner game.
1a. Under evolutionary theory, your approach anxiety is a direct result of evolutionary mechanisms intended to enhance your probability of survival and replication. If you're interested in the science, you can Google it, but the fundamental principle to understand is that you are evolutionarily hardwired to fear the approach unless you have a strong belief that you will be successful.
1b. Every time you interact with a woman or a group, you gain reference experiences. Probably, as a child, you had a few situations where you talked to women, and afterwards, you felt like you made a mistake, or you said something stupid, or you would have just been better off if you never talked to that woman in the first place. You probably don't even remember these experiences, but the habits that formed as a result of these experiences remain ingrained in your mind. In order to truly not fear the approach, you have to force yourself to approach, and then afterwards, regardless of outcome, realize that it wasn't so bad; you're still alive and breathing; and you probably learned something about social interaction.

So there's a quick summary of the theory. There's a lot more, but that should be sufficient to get you started.

Practically, you should try to get a wingman. Find a guy who is down to approach women. It doesn't matter if he's a pimp or if he's a little punk. All that matters is that you get along with him at least decently, and he wants to talk to women. Having a wingman will boost your confidence a bit, because you'll know that if you get blown out of a set, you can just walk away with your wingman and laugh about it. It's not a big deal.

An exercise that helps a lot of newbies is the 30 second game. Tell your wingman to start counting down from 30. If he gets to 0 and you haven't approached a woman yet, he can punch you hard in the gut. After a few punches, you'll be less scared of talking to a little girl than getting hit again.

Hope this helps man. I have a lot of respect for the armed forces. Feel free to PM me with further questions

_________________
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Stop being "perfect." It's time to evolve.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2015 5:55 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jun 19, 2009 3:09 pm
Posts: 1020
Website: http://www.authentic-attraction.com
Hey brother!

I've made a video answer to your question.

In it, I talk about 3 important keys:

KEY #1: Your FEAR is NOT your enemy.

Most guys hate the fact that they feel fear, and want to find a way to not feel it anymore. But this is a huge
mistake because your fear is actually there to help you. Fear is a huge influx of ENERGY through your body,
and the secret is in learning to MANAGE your fear so it helps you, instead paralyse you.

How?

The secret is in ACCEPTING fear, breathing into it and allowing it to take it's course. After couple of minutes,
you will fear your fear encouraging you to talk to her, instead of paralysing you.

KEY #2: Believe that you have something to OFFER to women

The second thing is that when most guys want to approach women, they completely forget about
what they have to OFFER to women.

Women's beauty is mesmerising to guys, and it's as if we get hypnotised and unable to think of
anything but her amazing eyes, hair and lips. We FORGET what we have to bring to the table, and
we only want THEIR acceptance.

KEY #3: The TRUTH will set you free

The biggest holder of anxiety is in you trying to come up with clever lines to say, and repress what
you REALLY want to say, or the TRUTH.

You mentioned you wanted to approach her with the opening of saying something in Japan. That was
a construct of your mind.

Instead, you could have just walked over there and said WHAT YOU ACTUALLY wanted to say.

Saying the truth is so easy, but we feel that if we do - we'll look stupid or weird. But the reason why
truth works so well is because it's the rarest thing on the planet.



[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38wFIaLHR78[/youtube]

_________________
Test out my new Approach Anxiety technique, that eliminates your AA
in UNDER an hour (2022 updated)

You can try it here Here: New AA Cure


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2015 5:21 am 
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MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Sun Mar 29, 2015 12:36 pm
Posts: 48
To beat approach anxiety, take long sessions where you make your approaches. - Not few short sessions where you approach girls everyday.

Approach a variety of people, not only attractive girls.

The more you know, the less fear your mind produces about the 'reality' of rejection.
So know this.
Women who are not interested in you, wont engage with you at any level. That means even being rude to you.
Any response from her could be turned to your advantage and lead to a conversation. She knows that, and focuses more on being silent and evasive than on being rejecting and rude.

Focus on having a few warm up approaches when you think of going out.


Dont be a response seeker or focus on seeking positive responses. You are the entertainer, your reality should be that they live in your world and entertained by you and not them being the tough audience that victimizes you.


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