I went out to cold approach this weekend, and I must have approached around 30 women and got rejected by all of them, some of them walked away from me while I was talking to them .....''I have a boyfriend, I don't think my boyfriend would like that, im married, I have a husband'' was what I mostly heard from them. How do I react to this answer in the best way?
Im still waiting for a light bulb to go off in cold approaching people where I can learn what works, what is best for me and what im doing wrong. I think it is mainly the vibe and the energy that I give off isn't right. I can approach any women now without thinking about it, but I mostly get shut down by them within about a minute. One of the things I don't like is having long conversations with women about mundane subjects, and I don't really like talking to them for any sustained amount of time.
Its frustrating in the sense that I have gotten the complete opposite of what im looking for and so far I have got in trouble for doing it, I have been banned from a supermarket for disturbing people while they were shopping and I almost got into a fight with some idiot on a separate occasion. Another occasion, I ended up walking around with this girl, listening to her go on and on about this relationship that she was in for eight years that ended, that almost had me in tears and I ended up almost crying in front of her ''are you ok? you look like you are about to cry'' because it was a sad story. But then after she was finished with her story she jumped on the nearest train and that was that. I didn't know how to jump in and tell her to stop talking about it.
I try to keep a fun, positive vibe but by the end I usually feel exhausted from walking around everywhere, approaching and not having anything to show for it. Maybe I ask for their numbers too quickly.
Any advice would help, I thought I would get better from more experience, but they generally seem to go the same direction in every interaction. I haven't thought about each interaction separately because there are too many that I cant remember.
Also Im having a hard time seeing past how you don't lose your power right from the beginning, by being the one to approach, and then by further losing your power by leading the conversation, it makes it all too easy for them to just stand there and say nothing or the bare minimum and look like a stupid bitch and then blow you off. It even happens in films, where the adventurous, fun guy approaches the girl, but then the girl ends up sleeping with the wing guy who just stands there and says nothing.

what?? no answers?

First off, let me say that I applaud you for approaching.

However, it sounds like you don't really have a proper plan on what you're doing. Spamming a bad approach 30 times will simply get you shot down 30 times.

You haven't told us WHAT you say, and HOW you say it, which would be important to critique. However, it's quite apparent that you haven't calibrated, you haven't sparked attraction, and you haven't built rapport.

All these things are addressed in numerous posts in this forum, and can be addressed, so I would suggest you do some research and implement these techniques

I just jump straight to the point, seeing its cold approach and you don't have all day to small talk. At first it was exciting to use to see how they react but now its like I canned opener to me, I say something like...
'' hi..whats your name....(insert name) you look great, im taking you out Friday at 7pm, wear cute heels, we are going to have a great time.'' Then I usually get my phone out for them to give me their number and that's when it usually breaks down at that point. Sometimes I say it with excitement and enthusiasm, other times I sound like its rehearsed.
Or sometimes I say something like ''I can tell that you make great breakfasts, im looking forward to you making me breakfast tomorrow morning''....I should add that I want to go a step further but I haven't tried it yet and say to them...''im looking forward to you making me breakfast tomorrow morning, naked.'' Sometimes it gets a few giggles out of them but nothing much more than that.
I would like to even further be direct and say something like ''hi, nice tits, nice ass etc'' but I haven't tried it yet.
One particular interaction hit home, I approached this 19 year old girl in the shop (at first not realising her age) I gave her one of my canned openers, and then I went to ask for her number and she declined. I should have left it at that, but then I started getting pathetic and saying ''come on'' and she kept saying no, so then I walked away...I didn't realise at the time that I was giving some 19 year old girl the power to decide whether or not I have a date, and that I was asking her for permission to go on a date, it is embarrassing for me to think about in hindsight. I came from a bad frame and I don't want to get rejected like that again.

This forum = Complete and Utter bollocks!!

This is probably coming across in your approaches. In fact I'm sure it is. Women (and humans in general) can subconsciously sense all kinds of things about a person's intentions. I strongly suggest you find a way to enjoy talking to women. Start by taking the pressure off yourself to score.

Barry

I'm no expert but those openers sound waaaaay too forward. You need to build trust before you get to the direct shit. Have you tried anything else? I mean a different style, not just different lines with the same direct style. The best way to master pickup is to try all kinds of things, even some crazy things, and see what works for you and what doesn't. Cuz this isn't working.


Barry

Dude, I really have to pour you a glass of pure wine and tell you what you're not seeing yourself.

You are running around, trying to FORCE yourself to women. By what I read, you would want to
"just get the girls numbers and be done with it..."

Instead of approaching women like that, try to approach them by saying "Hey, what's up?"

And then try to have a NORMAL conversation. What this means is that you don't just listen, but that
you listen AND talk.

ASK women about what they're up to. If you see them in the grocery store, don't try to get their number
in the first 7 seconds of talking to them, but show that you are a social person who likes to meet new people.

Ask them if they know where the beans are, and if they can recommend a good soup...

Then say, "So what else do you do besides doing groceries and talking to random handsome guys.. "

With the girl that told you a story about that relationship, you could said,

"You know, it sounds like
the guy was a real jackass to you...but life is really short, and by talking so much about him, you're
actually missing out on getting to know an awesome guy like me...so why don't we get some coffee
and you can tell me more about YOU..."

And then smile and wink at her.

Make sense?

Here's the formula:

SAY SOMETHING (QUESTION OR A STATEMENT) + NORMAL CONVERSATION + BE PLAYFUL + ASK FOR NUMBER

I hope this helped, if you'd like to learn this better and actually develop a skill, I can give you one SPAM session
with me for free. Just send me a pm.

I'll probably regret this, but I'll help you out.

Enjoy your day,

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