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An engagement point? Why do you feel you need an external engagement point. You naturally ALWAYS have an engagement point...the fact you are a man, she is a woman, and you are attracted to something specific about her. You seem to be looking for an excuse to talk to girls you find attractive so you have CONTENT to speak about.
Content and logical conversation means nothing. It is all about having an emotional impact on her and stimulating her emotions through curiosity and effective questioning to get to the root of who she is.
Perhaps I allowed for some confusion in my post. I meant it gets to a point of digging through the surface, only to find there is nothing there. Excuses is something I don't have. I want my social interaction with people to be rewarding for me. Talking random nonsense with a woman just to get into her panties does not fall into that category, I am sorry. "If you trigger a woman's emotions you will definitely have engagement points", well yeah, but no. Instead of curing the flake, you make the flakiness part of your soul.
Let me give you an example what I do nowadays. Just to show what I am talking about and possibly open some eyes. My girlfriend is totally awesome: Not only is her family well-off but she is pretty, works very hard and also cooks and cleans like a proper woman. Next to that she is also sexually adventurous. Through the internet I met a woman about 20 years old who is into sex outside of her committed relationship. Her boyfriend even agrees - he feels she has the full right to develop her sexual identity. We also exchanged photos, she is a very good looking tall white blonde. So I asked her some questions about her lifestyle.
This is what I want to investigate. You see, if you look at history, during the times of the French Revolution, many ideas were considered extremely controversial, such as atheïsm, free market, democracy, and so forth. By now they have become pretty much mainstream (not talking about Allah-land here). When it comes to sexuality, however, Christian/Victorian exclusivism has remained mainstream, and I suggested to her this is a land laying fully open to be explored. I said it's a pity there's no people of my generation (twenties) to discuss these matters properly. We talked about this for a bit and then she wrote back: "You are right, when I meet others who share my opinion they only give attention to the body, to the looks and appearance, the intellectual aspects of it remain undervalued and underused." She also emphasized that she is "looking to build up a long-term relationship with someone so we can really get to know each others body". I said, "but why not with a couple?" and so it began.
I forwarded her mail address to my girlfriend, the two of them exchanged some pics and messages also. Things are heating up and we scheduled a meeting in some weeks.
This is so much more intriguing than having to deal with flaky chicks in bars, feigning flaky emotions just to get to second base - a culture where people pretend to be touched by intense emotions to cover up the fact they feel hollowed out inside. The other day I went to a book presentation of my friend, instead some cute blonde in her thirties kind of "cockblocked" me from speaking to my friend. Her boyfriend, totally quiet and introvert, sat besides her while she asked me to get her a drink. I said, sorry, you are a grown woman. You have two choices here. Either you wait for me to finish my cola, and then, after a while when I would feel like taking a second cola, I could perhaps bring one for you. Or you go take one for yourself. She then brought out her coaching-management toolkit and tried to psychoanalyse me. Really guys, this is the most spiritually dead kind of woman: the blonde early thirties metropolitan woman who is active as "job-coach", "communications manager" or something of the kind. Her whole life this kind of woman has had men doing the dirty work for her. She asked me if she could give me a pointer. I said "I have long ago stopped giving a cent what anyone thinks. I live my life to harden in my character and persevere in my nature, and so your pointer is useless."
She said: "You are finding it quite difficult to deal with my approach, aren't you?"
I said: "What is difficulty? Difficulty requires a goal. And the more energy it takes to attain that goal, the higher the degree of difficulty. But here there is no goal, and so there is no difficulty. We are just talking. That's it."
I could see that she was really getting aroused and intrigued by my behaviour. Her boyfriend was just sitting next to her like a limp (actually I only heard afterwards from my friend the writer that he was her boyfriend). However her emptiness and shallowness just irritated me.
CHAT
