i seem to have a very real inability to approach girls. the last girl i approached was when i was in freshman year of high school (i am now 20 years old). she was definitely a 10 and obviously very popular but she was always nice to me in the hallway (by that, i mean she would smile at me when we passed each other though we never actually spoke). after watching her for a while i finally decided to try and ask her out and even that took me a while. i pretty much followed her around the school until one day she had one of her friends tell me that i was creeping her out. that wasn't my intention so i finally gathered the courage to approach her and i told her 'hi' and that my name was 'blank' and that i thought she was a really sexy person and that i wanted to go on a date and maybe make love to her if she was ok with that. well long story short she laughed in my face and told everyone that i was a loser and that really upset me and ever since then i haven't be able to talk to girls. i get to nervous. i also have aspergers syndrome (autism) and that makes my social anxiety worse.

how can i get over this? what is a good thing to say to girls to get them to be attracted to me and not think i'm a loser? and why did the girl in high school laugh at me? someone told me not to bring up sex in the first conversation but why not? i thought girls liked honesty and i don't want to lie to anyone or make them think i'm interested for false reasons.

Ok I read about you somewhere else in your "introduction" and so then I found you here again.....

I understand having autism is hard, but I don't believe that's what is holding you back since you made contact with that female before. I really, really want to help. I feel your frustration through your font and I have the knowledge that can create you into a new confident person that will no longer be afraid of rejection or denial.

First thing's first rejection and denial is a part of life...friends will do it to us, females will do it, even girlfriends, but the true test of strength is how we deal with that? Do we shrug it off? Or do we let it collapse our self-esteem, our life, and make us a scared child who runs away from any possibility of social interaction, even if it just is one on one.

I'm sorry that you had to go through the pain of being laughed at, being called a loser, and pretty much humiliated....but from now on you must remember that is in the past and needs to stay there. It's a new beginning for you. And once you recognize and can accept that you and I can take this journey together. Alright?
You can get over this by taking what I am saying serious, I'm not sounding just serious for the sake of sounding serious or to make you feel better, or some hidden agenda....I'm doing this because I want you to have a true purpose in life...I want THE GAME to bring a new calling to your heart. I admit what you did back then was an idiot move...but once you end up realizing EVERYONE HAS IDIOT MOMENTS, SOMETIMES LONGER THAN OTHERS AND SOMETIMES MORE THAN OTHERS...things will move on quite nicely.

It took guts though to do what you did...to go over and say that to a female, true guts..why does it, you say?

Because she thought that you were a loser not by what you had said, but by that you were literally following her around like a lost puppy like some weirdo stalker. If you had confronted her exactly like that the reaction would have been different, possibly still a negative reaction, but it would have been different. So doing what you did created you looking like a sad man who just wanted her attention and time desperately with no integrity. Then she mocked you once you approached her.

Also you don't bring up sex in the first conversation? In fact you don't ask for sex at all or bring it up directly. Sex is something that is always on the low-low...it's something we all know and love, but rarely discuss it especially to a complete stranger. She was a stranger to you in so many ways, it would be like me asking a random person that I didn't know at a store if we could go some place and make love? You're not stupid, in fact autistic people are one of the smartest individuals around....just in certain areas. She thought you were a weirdo asking for sexual relations with her, I agree with her. First off you didn't talk or conversate with her that much before initiating any kind of "sex talk".

You went over to her....you told her who you were, complimented her and asked her on a date....did good so far, but then you MAYBE will have SEX with her?
First off being unsure of yourself is never a good thing, and out of nowhere some strange guy asking her for sex that she doesn't even know? You're jumping from PLAN A TO PLAN C IN LIKE 1 STEP...this makes you look stupid and like a loser. I'm surprised she didn't smack you for complete disrespect.

What you did to her was disrespectful....you didn't even subtly do it. You hint around to sex and you NEVER do it on a first confrontation like that especially after STALKING her for a whole day like some lost puppy. Where was your confidence? Where were you acting like a man? Just forget everything you've been told and listen to me...when I say this! What you did was uncalled for, but it's in the past.

What you need to learn from it is...DON'T FOLLOW A WOMAN AROUND FOR A WHOLE DAY.....BE SURE OF YOURSELF AND CONFIDENT...DON'T TALK ABOUT SEX OR ESPECIALLY TALK ABOUT YOU MAYBE WANTING TO DO IT WITH HER OUT OF THE BLUE!!!

Wouldn't you find it weird if some female just came out of the blue and asked to have sex with you? Or implied it the same way you did? I'm surprised she didn't scream rape or something like that. Anyways I rest my case...I think you understand why she laughed at you because it was so unbelievably disrespectful and naive on your part.

Don't be scared NOW though, that was in the past and you are here looking for help to understand what you can do different and what went wrong. A step towards progress. I can help you, in fact I want to help you...all you have to do is ask for any further advice in PM....I like information and situations you need help into be clear and detailed that way I can do my best to help you.

I hope this cleared everything up. I'm a straight shooter so I don't play the nice card sometimes. I tell you how I see things and this is how I see them. Hope to talk soon to you! Don't beat yourself up over mistakes or over females rejecting and denying you. There are many, many other women out there. And each one is only as special as you make them out to be.....which shocked me when you called her a 10! I'm sorry, but she probably wasn't a 10....you just don't get out much or have much worth for yourself. Which I hope that changes very, very soon. Good luck to you.

Approach sooner so you arent creepy. Also, you approach to talk, not to ask out. That is only for if you hit it off. If you are a bit nervous, approach any way. If you are so jiddery and can't see or hear properly, don't bother.


Cold approach is fuck'n hard man. Thats what makes it cool. Fail, fail, and fail... Thats what makes you hard... That's how approaching gets easy. Forget about pickup until it becomes easier just to say hi. It gets better.

Exactly @Mastermind9000 !!!

AMEN! He expects too much and going into it expecting TOO MUCH has a higher chance of failing and any true player knows this which is why I use a set of stealth-techniques in the very first end of the conversation then if it goes well enough I throw that in there.

Expecting just a friendly conversation is what you should be looking forward to. That's what GAMING truly is. Because then there's no fear of rejection, you're not doing really anything that can cause rejection, but knowing that you will most likely get rejected then you know what to expect why is that so scary? No reason...exactly.

@thefiredragon

Take everything I said in my last post seriously, dead serious and read this post...remember it's a GAME....a game is about having fun whether you win or lose. And if you're expecting to go in there for to have fun you already are a winner! Keep that in mind.

if you are afraid to approach then the thing you need to do most is approach - make 50 approaches in a night as a warm up, that will get rid of the fear real quick

quick quick approaches too, just say something to get her attention

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Very good thing to note. When approaching, you are doing just that, walking up to say hi. Don't worry past that.

Well, meeting girls is simple and complex, the reason you dont bring up sex right away is because you need to establish comfort first, get to know her first, have a light chat and see if she is interested in talking to you.

And defenately let them know you like them, but dont be too eager and expect something in return, just express yourself, and if after expressing your interest she still talking to you then you can move things forward and maybe kiss her then bring up sex.

But it all has to have a smooth flow to it. The best way for a begginer to do this is by meeting alot of girls and make sure you are aware of how you make them feel.
Start by having a regular chat and get comfortable with that. Then proceed to step it up a notch. Good luck.

Remember the great wall of china wasnt built in a day, it was one block at a time.
So take it step by step. Start by working on your own personality/style/hobbies maybe go to the gym, have something to offer. Dont just take, give as well.

Becoming an attractive man takes time, but immediately you can make significant changes and soon there after you will be getting girls.

Ask the right questions, find the right answers.

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thanks for the helpful tips.

Haven't read the replies, but if you have AA. Then to get over it you would of to overcome AA by doing the obvious and approach more girls till you're much more comfortable with it

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Hey buddy,

Have you tried taking small steps ?

The kind of approach you did was very ballsy. So kudos to you for that.

BUT. It doesn't always have to be so nerve wrecking. Direct game, approaching in the manner that you did, is great. It's something I teach people to do.

Firstly, because it overcomes certain logistical barriers that might be present. For example a girl walking towards you. Sometimes just going direct is the easiest way.

Secondly, because direct game, especially in terms of day game, really isn't so much about picking up women, but overcoming fear. And overcoming fear is great.

If I were you though, I'd keep that in my mind, knowing you could always go practice that if u wanted. But practically, id focus more on being indirect.

And I'd go about it my structuring my learning to be in small steps.

1) practice getting over social anxiety. Forget picking up women. Forget opening and closing. So go around, and talk to people. Get used to being social, nod to acknowledge fellow classmates and other students around campus when u walk past, make comments and observations about environmental things to ppl around (wow it's hot today if ur outside, they need more staff huh ? If your in line for coffee etc .....)
Focus on normalizing your behavior.

At the same time, you should also focus on self development. Don't ever be shy about who you are. Learn to get comfortable with yourself and others will too. Build yourself up from the inside. There are books, blogs, videos out there that can help. Amongst other things.

2) learn to make small talk. Practice making small talk. With the cashier at a supermarket, with the coffee girl, with your classmates. Don't try to "get something" from them. Forget about numbers and closing. Just talk. Smile. Vibe and have fun. Most of all relax.

3) you might feel like that will all take ages. But what u don't realise, is that advancing in all those respects, simultaneously gets u closer to the goal of being good with women.

You'll often find, that when u are relaxed, more confident and more socially apt, and you can make small talk well. Things start to fall in place. To escalate to at least a place where you have a shot romantically with a girl, isn't too far off from just being cool, normal and vibing. In a lot of simple day game models, that literally is the entire model. Open, converse, number close.

Obviously there is so much more. After that you need to be able to somewhat escalate physically and also learn how to bond. Night game is altogether a different beast too. But, it's really a great start if you can get that far.

So I'll stop here for now.

Good luck buddy,
Translation.

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