I find I'm really good in places where I already know people, but whenever I step out into places like bars/clubs/malls/ect... I get horrible approach anxiety. I know everyone gets this, but even after I've forced myself to approach, it's like I forget everything I know and I just stumble around. Even if I go out with friends, it's even worse because now I won't approach because I think I look stupid. Going out alone has helped me approach more, but I still get stuck. Not sure what to do to get past this...

If I get stuck on approaching and I just can't bring myself to man up and approach a hot girl, I initiate conversation with the dude next to me, or the old dude that I see, or the ugly girl I see. Anyone that can helps me start to get chatty and forget why I was getting so nervous.

Also, screw the whole "friends will think im stupid" shit. Trust me, they'll be impressed that you approached. And do you know what they'd do if you walked up to a super hot girl and she blows you out of the water and is the biggest bitch in the world to you? They'll be on your side and say "what's her fucking problem?". Either you get alittle bit of respect from them for approaching, or you go and get that cute girls number and you get mad respect from them. Either way it's win win.

Well quitting isn't going to help, is it? Whether you’re extremely shy about approaching women or you’re already a fucking master pussy slayer, this is a skill you can never practice enough.

Think of it like weight lifting. Your not just going to jump into the gym, toss 315lbs on the bar and blast it off your chest 10 times.

Start a little lighter.

Women, and most people in general, want to be helpful fuckers.

You should always approach women with questions. It’s the best way to trigger a conversation, which is what you’re really after.

Start with mild, wholesome questions;

What time do you have? Is the food good here? Where is a good place to grab a drink in this shit hole town?

All perfectly harmless.

As you progress, your confidence muscles will grow.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Well, one thing that should help you a big deal is to go sarging in a venue where it actually is "socially appropiate" to talk to strangers, e.g. bars, clubs, etc. If girls go there, it IS to socialize. Malls and other daygame locations are also good but way more difficult for newbies is you ask me and cold approaches feel MUCH colder.

Another thing is your mindset. Do you suffer from uncontrollable angst when talking to the cash register lady at the supermarket? And other guys? The bus driver when you have to buy a ticket? No? Well, guess what, that is due to your EXPECTATIONS. Look, wrap your mind around the following: When you open a set and talk to them, you are not doing it because you are a creep who wants to get laid. No wonder you would get nervous. Who wants to be that crazed sex maniac approaching strangers on the street for creepy reasons? That's just one step above becoming some random trenchcoat flasher! The reason for opening that set, specially in your early stages of development is PURELY to improve your social skills in the field. Callibrate yourself. Play a fun little game. That's why it's called the game. It's not big deal, remember? Just go over for a nice little chat. And hey, you are a guy! So if said chat happens to evolve into a pick up, isn't that kind of natural? And isn't love a beautiful thing? Not like you are likely to be THAT successful in your first approaches anyway, so no need to worry about this. You are not going in there to take advantage of anyone. Nor to be a creep. You are going in there to get into a talkative mood, fine tune your social skills and callibrate yourself. Self improvement, that is what drives a PUA to the field day after day. And I don't see why any of your friends would make fun of you for that.

And, lastly, and I know I might get some shit from some of the forum members for this, alcohol is your friend here (obviously only during nightgame, duh!). Specially in the early stages of development (i.e.when you are just mustering up the courage to go up to a set of girls and actually start talking to them. Once you have gone through it a couple of times you will see it is nothing bad at all and actually kind of fun).

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404 game not found

Thanks for all the advice and tips guys. So I invented a "work out" for my approaching, and this is how it's turned out so far. I took some from everybody here. Started with a bar tender that wasn't busy, figured she'd at least humor me to be professional. I used the jealous girl friend opener, first time ever, and it was like my chest was guna pop out. In my head I was like, she heard this before, or she thinks I'm full of shit, but instead she got really into it and ended up forgetting some other customers. She was married so I didn't go past playful banter (it was never the point anyway) but I felt good that it went so well. I tried it on 1 more bartender, and 3 cashiers, and got better each time. Then I meet this HB8 and think to try the opener. Instead I ask her for directions (sens I really was lost at this point) and we get in a long conversation, ended up sitting down and I ran the cube and a few other DHV games with her. She loved it! Ended up getting my first number close. Going out tonight to see if I can use this new confidence to get better at approach.

Also I don't think drinking is helpful to my game. I used to use alcohol like a cruch because it made all my anxiety go away, but i also have depression, and if anything goes wrong, my night is ruined. Guna stay sober for a few nights and see what changes

I used to be like that.

I tried anything ; Drugs, Alchools, Etc. Until I read a book called Kill approach anxiety by Alexander Valmont.

It's a system that you follow for 30 days..It worked for me and a few friends of mine. Pm me and i'll send you the book. After 2 weeks my anxiety decrease by something like 80% and after 3 weeks I could approach like a machine. It basically says that approach anxiety is a form of social anxiety, and it gives you exercice on how to cure it.

I made a video about approach anxiety. It's similar to what Heywood Jablowme said. Desensitive yourself, always take any kind of action and day-game with people with more experience. It wont happen overnight, but you'll get there eventually.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hmYj1Q4o98

Also, shift your focus to having fun and being more spontaneous, building momentum and taking the pressure off yourself. This will become self-apparent as time goes on.

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Flowmentum Dating | FB

This thread encompasses so well all these important aspects and catalysts
Few words. Lots of value....

The gym references are spot on. By practicing your weaknesses and exposing them and then improving them, you are building your comfort level. Your goal is to hit a point that you approach and flirt and touch women without thinking about it without the slightest hesitation. You will be there sooner than you think.

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http://wearemag.blogspot.com/
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Also don't forget to keep us posted on your progess....

I like the mystery method
Start with a mild neg
Let her get surprised and trying to defend herself
Eg I don't understand why all women do fake piercing, can you explain me, you have one

Part of it is the obligation. You see a decent set walk by and you feel obligated and pressured to open them, then the anxiety of potential failure sets in. It's basically performance anxiety.

One thing you can do is fail with confidence. So, instead of nervously approaching the set, muttering out some lame opener, then slinking off once you get blown out, own the entire interaction from the very beginning. This means high energy, confidence, and clear intent. There's some girls that literally won't even acknowledge your presence no matter who you are or how you open them. But don't worry about it. Say "Okie dokie then. I guess the batteries on your hearing aid must be going bad, have a nice day." And say it loud so they know you are not deflated and they feel a little embarrassed, or at least teased.

Some PUA's will act confused and stunned that a set would have the audacity to blow them out. Because they have the attitude that all sets will like them, which usually they do. My old wing used to shout at girls as they ignored us and walked past "Why are you anti-social?!" Now typically you don't want to make a scene or instigate the women, but there's nothing wrong with being confident to the point of arrogance, even when you fail. It's how you maintain a solid frame.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn