Thought I'd start out by saying - last time I was here I argued with the advice I was given, and for that - my apologies. You guys WERE right. Basically, I had that "Oneitis" and had the typical beliefs of "Oh she's perfect", ect, ect.

Anyway, I am 22 and I don't drink, never smoked, and while I love going out and doing things, I've simply never had the group of friends that went to bars.

Last night I went to one with a few buddies and you need to remember that

A. I have stuff going for me, I'm not girl crazy... but I REALLY want to combat the fear of approaching. Not like I'm going to start going out with 5 girls a week, but I need to face this fear.
B. I go to these places so infrequently, that each time feels like my first. Excuse? Yeah, but it is true.

My friends are GREAT guys, they're not the competitive pricks, they want their friends to do well. They were getting girls and talking all night, and they pulled me to the side and said "Dude, listen, we're glad you came. You're funny as hell and we're just confused as to why you're not even trying to get girls? You're a good looking guy, try it!".

Whether or not that is true, I don't know. I've been told numerous times I look nearly identical to "Jonathan Rhys Meyers".

Here is my issue in short

- No self worth. No matter how many times people have said something positive about the way I look, I still feel that these girls will look at me and respond in a "Ew.... get away", type of way.
- For whatever reason, I am nervous of looking like a creep. I am VERY uncomfortable with tapping a girl on the shoulder and just starting a conversation. I do not know the etiquette!
- My thought process is too reliant on IOI's that are unrealistic. Most girls tell me that if they want a guy to approach them, they really don't eye fuck the guy, more or less glance. I think that the only way I'd really be ok with approaching is if a girl was simply staring at me for 30 seconds straight, or had a sign held above her head that said "APPROACH ME!", and I'd still hesitate.

Any help is awesome, I'm going back next week.

I have the same prob you have sometimes. But sometimes im just on fire. Just realize that people are just people. Simple humans like you and me. I read today something that basically is "if you are afraid of being rejected because [insert random excuse here i.e. being a creep]- go in and try to get rejected the most i.e. creep you can, but enjoy the process".

As long as you enjoy what you are doing who cares about the outcome.

Play hard - have fun - what happens afterward is not important.

Try Milk Opener. it's just a silly way to get you started and get you in state.

Hey man,

The only way to get over your anxiety is to tackle it!

I recommend "Baby Stepping"

Start by innocuously asking a question like directions or what time it is.

Ask 5 girls a day for 7 days and then move up to "asking what time is it? then say can you show me around this area? I am new in town"

Do that for 7 days, then "What time is it? can you show me around? You're cute! Whats your number"

Then "What time is it, can you show me around, you're cute, what are you doing now? Lets hang out"


Boom!

-Brad holiday

_________________
Check Out My informative And Fun Videos Here:
http://www.youtube.com/TheBradHoliday
Find Me Here
http://www.1GirlDaily.com
and
http://www.Facebook.com/BradHoliday01

Here are a few tips...

Standing in the bar, try to throw random comments to people around you, and don't even expect an answer. You can start with compliments. If you don't look like you expect an answer, the compliment will seem honest and people will most likely respond positively. This way you are not intrusive, and should make you feel comfortable enough.

If you are holding a drink (I suppose you drink something, even if it is non-alcoholic), you can toast with people who are passing by (or who you walk by, if you are the one walking). Just let them continue wherever they were going, or keep walking yourself wherever you were heading - not expecting any response, not being intrusive.

In general, you have AA because you know that you may be intruding someone's personal sphere. I don't think approaching as in walk-up-to-someone-and-initiate-a-conversation is any good unless you have made eye contact with the girl already, and she was smiling to you. Avoid that. But you can approach this way if everything about you communicates that you want to give value rather than take it.

Here is a very unusual tip in this community... If you are a camera nerd like me you could try street photography. It is a niche in photography that has much in common with daygame, approaching and making people feel comfortable in your presence.

Hugge nailed it...
Just practice speaking to ppl, only somebody with confidence can give out compliments without expecting a response. Trust me, if you compliment a girl and keep moving before she can say more than "thank..." She will feel as though you didn't want her. Like she has a nice dress but she isn't good enough for you. You get to reject her and she didn't even approach you. Apart of her will want to prove that she has a pretty face with her nice dress. Like hugge said, do this several times and you'll become more open to approaching

It's pretty simple, don't approach just anywhere and don't approach just anyone. Starting to go to the Club and not approach cuz no turn out. I find it funny I see more hotties in random places than the Club anymore but I am sure Summer will change that. Basically I am getting over myself and unstuck from my head. Now I am friends with all the "hot" bartenders and no longer find them hot. I thought getting buff and getting tatts would help me but it feels like nothing has changed so oh well more tatts and more weights I guess maybe one day...

I regret turning the cocktail waitress down
I regret opening 10's with "what's up" since I was crashing and burning

Now I feel like I am just the Nice Guy in the Club who knows everybody (staff) but never gets laid. Pretty disappointing. I don't know why I turned down the uber hot Buckle chick cuz maybe I was thinking I was too good now I have no clue.