Long story short, I used to be a frequent member here and then got a girlfriend. Dated her for 3.5 years, about a month ago she said she needed time to figure things out and wanted a break. Since I don't do breaks, we broke up. During that 3.5 years, I've forgotten most of what I learned. I realize one month is not enough time to fully get over her, and my confidence is still a little shot from everything.

The past couple weekends I have been going out to the bars on Friday and Saturday nights. My friends and I are pretty good looking, so we tend to get the girls that hover around us and wait for us to open. I will focus on last night, since that is fresh in my memory. This happened at least 6 or 7 times, where they would stand over by us and keep glancing over. They were all fairly good looking girls, but my confidence is not what it used to be and I failed to open on almost all of them. My buddy kept psyching himself out and did didn't really talk to them either. He was on tilt pretty much the whole night because a couple of girls who he used to talk to, that didn't even know each other, were there and I guess things didn't end well with them. He kept obsessing over them, nothing I said helped.

The girls we did talk to, nothing really happened. One girl that my buddy was interested in, after staring at us for a couple minutes, ended up plopping her purse down on the table we were at and searched her purse for a good minute. I asked if she was looking for something, she pulls out a tampon and her and her friend start laughing. Then she throws it back in and magically find the chapstick right away, and my buddy says, "I can see how you mixed them up, they are very similar." They laugh and stand there for another minute, and then they head out. Another set we were sitting near had to open us before we talked, and that was brief as well. Then another set, one girl that I had been eying for a while, comes over and stands next to us for a while. Finally one tries to get my buddy to take a picture, and her friend (the one I kept glancing at) gets really close to me and tells him don't do it. I kept telling my buddy not to take it as well, and he goes at does it anyways. One of the girls said it was someone's birthday, so I asked the girl who's birthday is was. She then said something about they were celebrating college or something, and I just left it at that.

Not sure why I can't keep the conversations going, and why I can't open myself. Like I said before, my confidence is still lacking after the breakup, and I'm hoping to work on that... It was also shocking to me how many chances I had, and how many I blew. I don't want to continue that, so I'm looking for some help on how to get out of this slump and get my game back.

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The hottest ginger you'll ever meet.

I don't have an ego, I just love how awesome I am.

Sounds like you are having approach anxiety, because you haven't been gaming in a long time. Basically you just need to start all over again. Set realistic goals. Just go for the approach, see what openers you can come with. Then move on to keeping the convo going, etc.

I wouldn't wait for women to approach, it never works well for me at least unless your at a high level of confidence. It's much easier when your in control of the approach.

Finally, I know what its like to be in a long relationship. It does ruin your game, and thinking about her only holds you back. So like I said you just have to start back over as if you were still an afc in training.

-Sawyer

2 words. body language.

check if you are ticking all the boxes. if not rectify it. your mood changes automatically and so does of others who interact with you.

Just get back in that social mood man. I know how it can be when you drone out in a rerelationship and don't keep your social muscles working.

I find talking to everyone (UGs, store clerks, other guys, HBs) and practicing DHV stories with them helps, because you're cutting under those boring surface interactions. Its hard to just jump back in the game talking to no one but your targets. Naturals are always socializing so its reactionary for them toto start convo.

I always rely on DHV stories, since I have a lot of true ones, whenever I can't think of what pattern or routine to run. It helps because you can thread all over the place if your story is good and that will occupy the light rapport/fluff talk and give you time to figure out what routine to stack or how to qualify the girls.

Thanks for the replies guys, much appreciated. This Saturday is, of course, St. Patrick's day, and my buddies and I are planning a whole day of going out. I'm Irish, and a ginger, so I'm sure I will get a lot of attention. Hopefully I can ease back into things, but either way I'm sure I'll have a good time. Hopefully I'll remember to update this post with my progress, as it might be able to help others down the road. Good chance I will see my ex Saturday, but I see and talk to her quite a bit since we broke up because we share a dog together, and live 4 houses away from each other... I kinda think she is regretting ending things, especially after I told her we couldn't be friends and that we shouldn't talk unless it was about the dog. I just hope I don't get drunk and try to force us back into the relationship, because I know if I was to give it a second chance we would need to talk about a lot first.

For the time being, I'm having a lot of fun and learning to be happy with myself, and only myself.

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The hottest ginger you'll ever meet.

I don't have an ego, I just love how awesome I am.

I'm getting the impression from your last post that you want to get back with your ex. You can't game when you want to fix a relationship. Sorry to sound harsh, but you must either GFTOW and get over your one-itis, or fix things with your ex.

Right now I'd like to fix it, but she said she wants space. I have a feeling she is seeing if the grass is greener, so I might as well play the field too. Why waste days if nothing is going to come of it? She said she still wants to be friends, but I don't see how that would help anything. So I'd rather just keep my distance for now and see whats out there, if in the end she realizes she wants me, we can talk.

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The hottest ginger you'll ever meet.

I don't have an ego, I just love how awesome I am.

yea, and just a heads up the more fun she sees you having now that shes out of the picture, the more shes gonna want you back and prolly ask the "do you miss me" question.
when it comes to openers and everything man, i would keep a note card in your back pocket with a few written on there. some people with AA usually have their mind go blank when they see a HB

Yeah, but if you wanted to practice the 3 second rule, then how would cards help in the heat of the moment upon seeing the HB?

Forget the notecard, put evernote on your phone and put some material in there. You can always glance at your phone like you're checking a text, or if you want to be discreet go in the bathroom and stand in the stall and read over it a few times then go back out.

But easiest is just look at the phone, read over the routine, THEN look up and do the 3-second rule.

Nice I like that