Hi guys,

I've been studying a lot the past few days at the library due to my need for getting some work done as my schedule's crazy.

so I sit in a library, where there are many tables that are closely together. The library is so quiet it's eerie at times. Anyways, sometimes I see a HB at one of those tables.

I admit I got anxious to approach a girl at the library because it's so quiet and there are so many people around you trying to study.

I dont know what I should I do, especially since this is a school setting.

"Psst. Hey. When it's really quiet like this, sometimes don't you want to get up and just yell something totally obscene?"

Anything can be used to open but I would think that you would get a response like just an awkward look from her but if she does that you could always say "I thought you were the fun type"

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Why is the Rhum gone?!

I think it's mainly because I'm afraid of approaching girls in front of others in such a quiet yet crowded environment.

What's the worst that could absolutely possibly happen? She rejects your approach.

I'd be absolutely perplexed and amazed if you got maced or beaten to a pulp by an overly jealous boyfriend for doing what I suggested. In fact, if you do, I'll personally fly to wherever you are, and nurse you back to health before committing my life to you as a personal servant. (Read: It ain't gonna happen.)



Just go and do it and quit thinking about it already! It's a lot easier than you're letting yourself think it is.

Funny, I was just going to talk about this in the other thread about "Why clubs?"

The big problem with the library, in comparison with for example a night club, is the girl's frame.

She is there to study. Not to get laid. Not only that, but there is this huge social pressure in place, cementing her frame, that anybody who "breaks the rules" of the library is somehow not ok, and those rules include trying to fuck her.

So you have to be able to break her frame and somehow get her to go along with it, be ok with it. This can be VERY hard to do, especially in a place where one of the written rules is "Thou shalt not talk loudly, if at all!"

The best way is to of course know her at least passingly from school already. If you are a total stranger, its really going to be tough. Then you need to break in and have some reason to talk to her thats not direct pick up, because that is blatantly breaking her frame in an un-ok manner.

Situational openers, even AFC asking for help (or offering it to her if she seems she needs it) work well here, as they are socially acceptable parts of the library frame. Then, and here is the tricky part, you need to break some humor into it quickly and sublty, preferably without making any noise.. Just enough to get her to giggle quietly, or at least smile. Hopefully you can move in and sit by her. Hit her with another joke quickly if you can, and then let her sit on it.. and she will start to wonder oh... I like him, I wish I wasnt in the library so he would talk to me more. Watch her, she will hopefully look up at you, if you catch this, make eyecontact and just give her a silly smile. If she giggles, sweet. Make another hushed joke.. escalate her until she is really into it, and breaking the rules (albeit quietly) with you. Now is your moment to try to get her out of the fucking library. With any luck, she will agree, if not, try to get her number so that you can laugh out loud next time.

At least, that's how Ive done it, more or less... Make polite social contact. Nudge her frame. Get her to nudge back. Escalate until you are both breaking the social frame. Move the target to another location.

Daggaz I love your idea, but I would be the jerkface that would do everything humanly possible to get her to laugh as loudly as possible!

Charlie, if you can get her to that point where she is blatantly breaking the social frame with you, then you are golden. The trick is getting her there. Your original suggestion is extremely hit and miss tho, even if the girl normally would agree with you, there is a huge chance she will shake her head no at you because you are just crashing the meta-frame so bluntly.

You've a very good point. So warming her up to it would be a better start.

Charlie,

I'm not the least concerned abut HER.

It's the people around that I care, as I mentioned in my last people.

Some of these people are all in college, it's about 70 people.....

1. As you walk into the library, sit near an attractive girl.
2. Make sure you get a text message (you can make sure you get one by texting someone with a text that demands a reply). She will have heard you recieving a text message.
3. 30 seconds later just opinion open saying so and so texted you and that you need an opinion on something.

Make sure you're confident- goes without saying! Whenever you've sat in a library what would you have given for an attractive girl to approach you? Same goes for girls. In their daydreams between studying they are probably taken away by some man who takes control and shows an interest in them, much better than the usual random perves approaching them when drunk. Easy to continue and isolate as you are not allowed to talk loudly so perfect excuse to go for coffee - "just need a coffee to help me concentrate..."

Good luck.

What about giving a fairly inconspicuous "SHHHHHH!" at them, maybe with the finger on your lips action too? Or would that just rile them?

draw a stick figure before you walk up to her. then walk over and say "excuse me, I'm a local artist and I noticed you from over there and just had to draw you, would u like to see it?
HB: ya sure
you: I'm just warning you it might be like looking in a mirror

show her the picture, she laughs then you say

" Ok so I'm not an artist I just really wanted to talk to you"