Okay let me get some info out of the way.

1. I am a 24 year old virgin who has always been the nice shy guy. I am trying to change that so I have gotten into this PUA thing and giving it a shot.

2. For my first time I would like to do a complete online pick-up and close. My social skills are awful and I lack confidence so I think doing my first time through the internet would be best for me and help me build up my confidence and self esteem to take on the real everyday world.

3. While I have seen some results from using some methods from this site it seems I keep getting to a point where it just fizzles out. This is causing me to become severely depressed and my self esteem feels like a punching bag. Yes I was getting ignored and rejected before but now it feels even worse. I get as far as getting a phone number and develop a good phone rapport and then...nothingness.

Let me give you the biggest example of this situation that I am entirely confused by and not even sure if I did anything wrong. I need advice.

I messaged this super hot girl on one of these social networking sites. Got her hooked on talking to me, got her phone number very quickly, and then for the next week or two we had a very close texting and talking relationship on the phone. Now let me make this part clear and mainly why I am confused. SHE ABSOLUTELY LOVED TALKING TO ME AND I WOULD RESIST BEING THE ONE TO CONTACT HER...SHE WOULD ALWAYS BE THE INITIATOR.

Okay. Then I tell her I think she is cool enough and passed enough tests with me to come over to my place and hangout with me on a Saturday. She gets excited and even starts thinking of things for us to do together. She tells me she is going to be up in my area (she lives an hour or two away from me) and that she is gonna be staying for a week in my city.

Okay sounds locked up at this point right? Nope...she gets down here and the night she is supposed to come meet me she said she got arrested for getting into a fight with some girls along with her cousin. Now keep in mind when she didn't show up at my house I sent her a few texts asking what was going and and where she was? I eventually heard back from her and then we kinda reschedule for a later day and says everything is cool between us and that she is planning a fun day for us.

Now here is where it gets even weirder. I go back to the site where I met her on and it says she is now in a relationship with a guy. I am crushed at this point. I text her saying what the hell is going on? You have a boyfriend? I can't believe you just lied to me and broke my heart like that. I get her on the phone and she seems confused as to what I am talking about. She eventually tells me that some guy has her profile password and must have put that up there. I take her word for it and she said everything is the same between us and we are gonna hang out.

It has been nearly a week now haven't heard from hear. Sent her a text or two recently asking her what was going still haven't heard back from here. Our daily texting and talking relationship has disappeared without any explanation or reason.

So what do I do? I REALLY wanted this girl to take my virginity she is amazingly gorgeous and has an amazing personality I honestly have no clue what the hell is going on and how I should approach this? Any advice or suggestions???

first of all, u need real life game to close online game. once you get good with girls in real life, online game helps you get more women faster, and it has some other advantages.
u have awful social skills? work on that!! improve!!!

however, online pickup is good for getting better in some aspects of pickup, so youre doing fine mate.

now about this girl of yours, youre crushed? u text her saying she broke your heart??
wuss behaviour, no bueno.
youre supposed to be alpha, stone cold, indifferent to the outcome.

and another thing, dont just go for one girl, go for many.
if u put all ur hopes on one girl, ur fucked.
the only way to get a girl is if ur not afraid to loose her.

peace

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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time

Dude. This girl was sending me practically naked pictures without me even asking for them, she was telling me when she first saw me I was getting a hug and a kiss on the lips, and she was coming over to my house to hangout. I may be a gaming noob but to me that sounds like a sure thing.

I know I probably sad a few things that sounded pathetic and showed weakness but that is past now. I guess more of my question is how do I proceed from here. My last text to her was "What is going on with us right now?" I am wondering if I should keep waiting hoping for a response or send her an ultimatum type text or text basically telling her to call me and explain herself. I don't wanna come off as a dickhead nor a clingy desperate guy. I am just afraid either one could completely ruin any chance with her.

And don't get me wrong. This is isn't the only girl I have talked to on the phone or have gotten a number from. This is just the best one of the ones I pulled and I REALLY wanted her to be my first but now I am at this point where I have no clue on the position I am in.

I think I burned my eyes out reading this.

The "clingy needy guy" you were trying not to be? Well, you don't have to. You already reek of neediness.

Good God, that was bad. Like capital letters B-A-D.

Maybe, you got her interested at the beginning but then, you pinned too much hopes on her and ever worse, let her know you had huge hopes.

Which lead to...

Flake 1. The stupid arrest story.

Then, she came out with the truth about her relationship (or not).

Rejection 101. That was put up for you, bud. She might be committed or might pretend to be, either way, she wants to let people know she's not available. At least to most guys (including you).

Then, you message her with quite possibly the neediest texts ever. And then, you call her and tell her that.. wait for it.. she ''broke your heart''. This isn't the movies. She wasn't going to feel bad and come running into your arms.

She DOES NOT care. I couldn't be more clearer than that.

Also, the whole "guy has my password. I didn't know" story. That's a load of cliched crap. Kudos for taking her word for it.

I know you're a virgin, we all were at some points and maybe a lot of things won't work out. But, you have just decided to change your life, it won't happen instantly, it's hard in the beginning. Don't feel down because a girl didn't turn out the way you hoped her to be. Stand up, brush off the dust and try again.

Every day you'll see a better woman than the day before. That's the ugly truth.

Stop fixating on her or on every failed attempt. Go, message a ton of new women and have your fun.

Live a life. And enjoy it, for a change.

Good luck.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

And yeah, there is no "proceed from here?" scenario.

Forget about this one.

I'm saying that in your own interest.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

I been there before.. Next time, DO not get too serious into it.. You have to block out your emotions. Ive talked to girls online before and built some sort of emotion for em and then the relationship just not happening or never getting to meet them in person, it sucks.

Try not to get any feelings for them until you meet them.

Go do something else for a while to get your mind off it.. Resist texting her for a week or 2.. After 1 week, you probably won't really feel the urge to text her anymore.

A better way of texting her and saying "what happened?", you can just text "are you still alive? just wondering".. this usually gets a text back for me.

Yeah I guess you are right tekryder. It sounds like my problem is I get too excited and emotionally attached too early on. But I have also had situations where I do text and talk to the girls on the phone and I don't call them or text them for long periods of time and it dies out anyways and I haven't heard back from them since. So I am having a hard time gauging I suppose.

You should definately eject this one. Question is if you can resist texting her? If it's too hard, I'd delete her number and erase all evidence of her existence in my life.

By no means am I an expert in this field, but I've been through very similar issues. so I can give some words on it. A lot of what you wrote sounds so similar to what I've been through with trying to solve my issues. From not knowing what went wrong, to shitty social skills, to not knowing how to gauge the right amount of challenge to give. I lost chicks because I was trying to be a challenge and it just died away too. HAHAH!

Six years ago, I had full blown social phobia with woman. I couldn't even be in the vacinity of a moderatly attractive woman without having my heart pound out of my throat. I was determined to solve the problem, it was hard, but I did it by confronting cashires, no small talk or anything, just confront... Yes it was pathetic, I overcame my phobia, whatever, lol.

Anyway, then I found POF and I'd talk to a girl, we'd get along amazingly! I learned quickly that online success with women does NOT nessicarily translate into real life success with women. Even long amazing PHONE convos don't mean shit. All that stuff is just to get your foot in the door for face to face time. That's it! You've got to knock it out of the park in person.

Hm, took me about three years on POF to finally get a lay, from a super cute girl, who really dug me. I was using deAngelos method of CONTROL EVERYTHING! NEVER DO AAAANYTHING A GIRL TELLS YOU TO DO, and NEEEEVER GIVE HER A STRAIGHT ANSWER. Man was that a pain in the ass, seriously it's tough to do those things because some things a girl asks will be so socially resonable, that you seem like an idiot or total jerk ass sometimes. Effective as the methods were for finally getting a lay, I gave up on the methods and tried to just be normal, in control but not over the top with the stuff like Deangelo makes it. I may try it again though.

Yeah, I hear you. It's tough to see how women come so easily for some guys. And for us they might flake for no apparent reason. It seems like one wrong move too soon puts you in the "no" catagory with a chick, even if you did 100 other things so right. Well, my condition with women is not their fault, and it's not other guys fault, it's on me, my mindset and past decisions I've made. That's the only way I can improve. I'm still struggling but I've made steller success from where I was a few years ago.

The other thing I might suggest is sometimes you just have to do what you have to do to BREAK BAD PATTERNS. Like if you keep dating cute girls that you like and you cant get a second date, don't focus on getting the girl you really want, just focus on breaking the negative patterns by whatever means neccessary, and keeping the pattern broken. Don't be afraid to use "practice girls".

I get frustrated as fuck with this shit, and that's probably half the problem or more, women can smell that stuff a mile away, they sense it like sharks smell blood, but my goal is to improve my overall condition. I've had a few lays scattered here and there, I have my ups and downs.

All that matters is what works and keeps working, period! Some of this PUA stuff is BS, some is true, some works for some guys, and not for others, it has to be congruent to your personality. Just have to figure out what works for you. Focus on improving your SOCIAL CONDITION and skills rather than loosing your virginity, or finding "the one".

Thank you very much Xsander that was the kinda response I was looking for much appreciated. While I appreciated Don Draper's criticism I found it more harsh than actually helpful...ha.

Also I am not necessarily looking for "the one." But I do want my first time with a girl to be someone I am attracted to and have some kind of connection beyond just physical. I am sort of a virgin by choice in the sense that growing up I had my fair share of chances to get laid but they were all girls that I just wasn't attracted to at all and I have never lowered my standards for what I wanted so here I am.

And yeah you are right this PUA stuff is a mixed bag. I think it all depends on the person that determines how they talk to girls. For example I love the theory and idea of negging a girl but I think the better looking of a guy you are the more you can get away with something like that. An average looking guy like me negging comes off more harsh.

Hey no problem, glad I could help! The other thing you posted that I was surprised about was that you said, "some of the methods on this site work, then it gets to a point when it FIZZLES" I have found that to be true as well. Read my post from a couple days ago. "POF: finding what works Consistently" I went into that same topic. If it is infact the same thing you're talking about. It's like a lot of these "PUA tricks and techniques" have a shelf life..WTF? I fall into the same trap a lot, where I think I have something ALLLLLL figured out, LMAO, then life is like, wanna bet? No you fucking don't! hahaha!

I was successful with DYD and I read Maurius Panzarella first. Fairly straight forward simple stuff. Control, be a man not a pussy, be a challeng and a mystery, make moves or masturbate. Then I started reading Mystery Method and I think it got overcomplicated for me, Negs, Kino, by all means if it works for someone it works, but I think MM tangled me up, when I was looking for a little extra edge that I prob didn't need.. I found some data that conflicted with DeAngelo's stuff. I got confused.

Chad, you are unbelievably wrong. Looks has nothing to do with it. Given it's obviously easier to attract girls if you have status, good looks, money, etc. but really - it's much deeper than that. Guys are visual creatures while girls are emotional creatures. Frame is everything, the sooner you start believing in yourself and act it, the better.

Obviously it's a journey that will take time, but you just need to push yourself out there. Rome wasn't build in one day.

Just FYI I started talking to this girl once again so I didn't do anything wrong. She had an issue for 2 weeks that made her unable to contact me. Now she is calling me and texting me practically every day and we talk for a long time and get along great. I do fear that if I keep talking to her as much as I am though she might eventually lose interest in actually meeting me. She lives an hour or two away from me and she tells me we will eventually meet up and hang out. Any advice or tips on how to push her even closer to making her wanna meet me even more instead of her giving me this eventually thing? I think she starts school a week from tomorrow so she is gonna be pretty busy coming up.

You're 24 years old. Unless you're a quadriplegic or under house arrest what is stopping you from going and seeing her?

Call her up. You would be surprised how much a simple, "Hello gorgeous. I'm going out with friends friday. You should definately bring a girlfriend and tag along."