First off I don't know how to add humour into a message and whenever I try to be myself, it's the nice guy. don't be afraid to critisize the shit out of this if you have to as long as their are some pointers in their...

I'm guessing you get hundreds of messages from guys telling you about themselves and how good you look but I'm not that kind of guy, I just want to chat and see what your all about, so shoot me a message if not good luck with your search

I'm afraid to send it cause their are rarely hot girls where I live

The one thing that always worked for me is finding something she stands out for and mention it in the opener. If it's an online dating site, you can try something like: Your profile really caught my attention because it's so different from all the generic profiles (insert an observation if you can) I see around here, drop me a line and let's get to know each other

Your message is way too friendly, you compliment her looks but claim you're not interested, I think she can see through that. Also, you assume she might not be interested. If she's not, you'll know You need to convey you're used to beautiful women and you want more than just beauty. There's nothing wrong with being attracted to beauty, she knows she's beautiful and enjoys it being recognized, that doesn't mean you should compliment it though, but also you don't have to act like it's not important to you.
Also, there's this apologetic tone in your opener, she chose to put her profile there, she'll be getting messages, no need to apologize for contacting her.
Hope this helped, cheers!

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rAFC and yes, I'm a chick.

I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn't last long.

I agree with that reply above.

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"I'm on a drug...it's called Charlie Sheen"