Ok, I'm pretty sure my profile is terrible. I can see that girls I message visit it, but I get no response, so it's probably the reason. I'm just not good at writing or selling myself, so I'd appreciate if anyone that is good at online could give me some guidance here:

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Asakusabashi
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Asakusabashi

Note: my profile is private so you will need an OKC account.

PS: I know I've bashed the hell out of online on here before, and I still hate it, but I'm not going to be in field much for a couple months. That and it just pisses me off that I can't get results with it, so the challenge is kind of motivating.

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"advance until resistance is met"
- Julius Caesar, Rome

You can be pretty sure they're seeing reasons in your profile why not to reply.
Often "less is more", It's all too easy on okc to say too much & be too much of an individual/obscure and shoot yourself in the foot. like attracts like. You don't have to say everything. You can "tailor your image" by limiting info/pics.

I'd take out that stuff about girls with baggage tho. That implies past bad judgement. leave out stuff that isn't and you don't have to say you're not good at stuff.

thanks.
you really think i put too much? although i do think there's something to be said for creating attraction with few words. i'm thinking i should view this as a 30 second commercial - you know, i gotta get them to "buy my product" without going on for so long that they lose interest.
and i agree that part about baggage should come out, i added that in when i was pissed after finding out stuff about the last girl i was dating.

ok, so anyone else?

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"advance until resistance is met"
- Julius Caesar, Rome

Commercials tend to be low on facts and high on feel good factor. In profiles that translates to more about what you are like and less about what you like. Which is also more important in reality.

see you've altered it a little but I don't think it's streamlined enough.

I'd also get rid of "One thing I'm getting sick of is girls with baggage..." section having relationships = creating baggage. Past a certain age everyone has some.

I'd chop the dog paragraph at "I had thought..." get rid of the pic of your dog and then you create the mystery/intrigue of what kind of dog it is.

You could loose the first paragraph too. Start with the second paragraph but make it all about your job. You want to imply ambition and that you have plans etc maybe something about if black tie events are related to that. You don't have to say anything about the sort of girl you want as like attracts like is always implied. then the second paragraph is what you do for fun, maybe include something about travelling, going to classy parties, stuff you might do with a gf... that leaves the cut 3rd paragraph about your dog.

after that if you're not dj'ing at the moment, cut that out and the picture.

try you should message me if
"You're not looking for a serious boy toy...let’s just hangout and see what’s wut."

try making your primary pic your black tie event pic.

No, guitar picture trumps a tux picture. The DJ picture is dull, especially since the only person there is the one with the camera. OKC says travel pictures aren't very popular, so you might as well cut out the Imperial Palace, it's a meh picture of you anyway. The paragraph about your dog is a huge DHV, if your whole profile was like that, it'd be perfect. Your dog is cute, keep that picture. But anyway, this is probably a waste of time, since it looks like you gave up on online dating anyway. Your profile is pretty good, but I think mine's pretty good too and I'm having the same hang ups as you. Apparently what looks good to us doesn't apply to women, or online women are just too damn shy/have impossible standards (which is why they're there in the first place).

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31 and still figuring it out.

(what looks good...) That's only natural to an extent, different sex different thinking, add-to-that they have a different experience on dating sites (too much choice, overwhelmed with interest). Experiences alter behaviour/thoughts. It's no wonder things don't make sense. However it is a closed system and whilst people are individuals, roughly similar experiences will corral them into groupings of similar thinking and probably behaviours.

The fact that even with plenty of choice, there's plenty of girls, even the same ones around for ages, tends to imply they're as bad at making good decisions as (guys) are at writing good profiles. So all you really need to figure out is what girls are doing/showing interest over and then fit yourself into that paradigm. As opposed to brute-forcing yourself into shapes that vaguely work sometimes.

What you said makes a lot of sense. Still, I like to know if there's anything on my profile that's clear dating kryptonite. I'm guessing there never is.

It's amazing to me that there's girls online that have been single since I started online dating and they still don't give you a shot. I guess some people just like to stay in their little comfort zones. Of course, there are the girls that are on there that have had crappy boyfriends forever that are too scared to be single again and make do with the attention they get online. Online pretty much sucks, you definitely shouldn't do it without other approaches.

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31 and still figuring it out.