I don't know why I didn't realize this before but going direct is the best way to approach online dating. I always started out messaging a bit, getting to know them and see how they were before going further, like you would in real life. It wasn't until I read a post about how internet dating is all about direct because think about it...you're already on a dating site, which means when you message a woman they know you're interested in dating because they are too, hence why they're on the site.

It sounds really stupid, but I didn't actually think about this until last week. Since then, I've gotten about 7-8 numbers online and my success rate is huge. I even tried it on women who i had previously failed with.

I basically let them know that I'm interested and I find them attractive (both of which are true, otherwise I wouldn't have messaged them). I don't like, I am direct and honest with them.

I use POF (messages) and OKCupid. OkCupid is by far the best I've ever used because you can IM people right on the browser (not a separate window like POF), you take quizzes, shows compatibility and you can set filters on your searches. For messages, I start out by saying 1 line about their profile, to show them that I'm actually reading it and I find them interesting. ex -

High ambitions for a young age...very good. < - this is the set up to show them that I'm actually reading their profile

Anyways, you seem cool and you're attractive; I didn't wanna miss the opportunity to chat < - this is the generic line I use after that, same message. Lets them know right off the bat what I want and what I think of them.

Now, most women I go after are 7- 8's in my mind because hot hot women don't exist on dating sites (and don't need them), or at least around here they're not. So I go for the 7-8 range, for now, because that's what I find attractive and they have traits I'm looking for. Again, I'm not lying or making up things for them...I'm coming out and letting them know that I find them attractive and interesting (which I do) and that I didn't want to miss out talking with them.

My profile also attracts them, because the first thing 99% of women do after they read my message is read my profile. This is where I reiterate what I want and I'm not after games. I tell them my good qualities, my honesty, what I'm after and why they should be with me. It's more of a "here's what I bring to the table" compared to a "please be with me, here's what I can offer you!" kinda thing.

Anyways, enough of my rant...just wanted to state the obvious and then break down what I do in case this maybe helps some people out that were in my situation. Remember, the key is being honest, being yourself and being direct. Don't be a scumbag right off the bat- treat them with respect and honesty. I went from getting 1 number a month or every couple months to getting tons more answers and 7-8 numbers since Sat when I did this. This is who I was, I was just too afraid to admit it on a dating site (ironic).

While being direct is good, with online I have found you do have to be careful in how you word things. As it can very easily backfire on you.
Don't assume 99% of women read your profile after getting your message. They can very easily just look at your pictures and maybe skim over your profile. When it comes to online dating women become more physical with looks and if they don't like what they see, no reply.

Depends...I've found that if a woman likes your pics, she reads through your whole profile. For me, I put up a few pics of me and a couple dogs (of a girl I used to see) and I always get comments on the dog pics. I'm also going to put up a pic of me and my guitar for DHV. If your pics are normal and you seem somewhat interesting and not emo/creepy pic they'll view your profile then message you.

sure you don't have to do anything clever, just communicate that the nature of the environment, course it mostly does depend on not shooting yourself in the foot with your profile and having a decent pic so they actually do read your profile.

write on your profile you like meeting new people then it's perfectly congruent to say after a few messages something along the lines of 'well i could message all day but I'd really like to get to know you better in person. what your number etc..."

Hey Brawndo, I want to see what the profile of a guy with a high success rate looks like. You can PM me if you want to keep in on the dl. I'm going to try being more direct because my last round of messages was shitty, 20% return from girls that aren't motivated to meet up (possibly because I didn't inspire them).

_________________
31 and still figuring it out.