I know girls online love to flake, but this one I really can't put my finger on.

So one night on okcupid I'm looking through matches and I see one attractive girl with her im on. So I im her along the lines about how on her profile she said guys are too intimidated to talk to her or something like that. And I basically flat out told her I wasn't and joked around w/ her for a little bit. So we end up setting a date sunday (2 days ahead) to grab some tea. Then sunday around 1 she texts me saying shes hung over blah blah. I try and and say it's nbd (mistake possibly) and that she can still come out. But then she's like nah I'm vomiting etc.

So then we set up another date for tuesday around 7:30, she has work till 7. I texted her monday to confirm and everything was fine. Then she just texted me "Omg so sorry to disappoint they asked me to close, fml." This may be legitimate, probably not. But I'm just getting fed up with this. I don't get why I waste my time gaming these girls for them just to flake out. Should I have been more of a jerk to her after the first flake? Should I be more of a jerk in general? Is she actually telling the truth?

I haven't replied to her text yet, it's been around 30 mins. I'm not even really sure how to approach it or if I should reply at all. Advice would be greatly appreciated.

I think it's always best to act unphased by their flakes and there is never anything to gain from being a jerk. There's no chance that when she sees you're mad, that she'll decide to setup a date out of pity. Instead, DHV, and act like you have other options than spending the night with her.

I'd say, in a few days try to reopen, escalate, and then ask her out again. The key being that you strike when it's hot. She may or may not have been lying about the flakes... it doesn't matter, but she's definitely losing interest. You need to spark her interest again before asking her out.

If it doesn't work, move on. In fact, move on now. This is a number game, you need a lot of targets in order to have success.

How about this?. "Lol!, ok. I can see you next XX/ YY for drinks. But you will buy me a drink", may be this needs some polishing. Just a thought
a) It gives her a window of opportunity if she really wants to get back.
b) It also tells her that her behavior is not acceptable and will be penalized.

They may be legit, but for me if a girl flakes on me twice I have her setup a time and place to meet. And if she flakes again I stop talking to her. Rewarding such behavior only leads to more of it.

I get this problem quite often and i find the best way to deal with the situation is to DHV in a teasing way that also lets her know that you will not tolerate the behaviour again.

Here in the Wales we have a chocolate bar called a flake which isnt too expensive so i tie it in with the situation in a playful way. (not sure if you have flake bars where your from)

Her: OMG i'm so sorry blah blah came up so i can't make it.

Me : Oh i get it your one of those flakey types. Unfortunatly I have a rule and rules are rules. anyone who flakes out on me must buy me a flake before i will consider giving them another chance to hang out with me. your no exception you have to buy me a flake to make it up to me.

at this point youve demonstrated that you dont appreciate her flaking but you dont overeact and avoid seeming like a jerk. Its also quite playful making you seem unphased.

She'll usually agree to this by which point I tease a little more and tell her that she'd better make it a multi-pack because im expensive or high maintanence.

I was dealing with a flaker last month. We exchanged numbers and scheduled a date but she flaked. Then she rescheduled a date, but when I texted her for confirmation she did not respond. I sent her a mail on match no response. I froze. No communication for a month. Then she was off match for a few days. She is back. I have her number in my phone. This is defly a stale connection now. Any ideas on how I could re kindle and may be get her to actually meet this time?

Have you talked to her on the phone?

My bet is she's making up excuses because she doesn't feel comfortable about you yet.

Either that or she's just enjoying the attention.

Since I don't know her I would go with my first idea and try to build up some more comfort and then meet somewhere completely non-threatening like coffee in the middle of the day.

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