ok so... I broke up with my gf two weeks ago and have been messaging this girl since Day 1 of signing up 2 weeks ago on POF. She seems like she really wants to hang out, we message back and forth all the time. She even messages me often to see what i'm doing. I CANT SEEM TO GET HER PHONE NUMBER THO!!! I know once i get the number, its golden, money in the bag, I'm good from there.....BUT Kinda stuck here. I'm running out of shit to say and want to keep her interested. Here's what i've done so far, LMK if i should stick with it. I asked her for her number after day 6 of talking to her and she wrote me back saying she wasn't ready then this followed...



Me:Do you wana text sometime?

Her: Not Just yet, sorry


ME: It's cool. Bad experience on this site before?? I'm not looking to rush into another relationship either but I would like to get to know you. This dating site thing is new to me and its good i'm seeing whats out there. You caught my eye initially and my heart as well from reading your profile(which is f'n awesome):) and messaging with you this past week. I'm willing put in my time if you are too. Good things happen to those who wait right?


Her:I have had a bad experience... not on this site. A few years ago this guy found me on myspace ( when myspace was cool) haha and we talked a lot and my friend gave him my number but I really had NO interest in him. And one night I was driving around with my friends and I get a text from him saying I see you on Niagara Falls Blvd. And first off, I was freakin creeped out, second off how did he know what my car looked like, third it was dark so how did he see me? So I was like wtf how did he know this?! Well later on the night I am like 30 minutes away from the first location he saw me at and I see his car following us!! He of course denied it all but I was like scared out of my mind he was stalking me. So that is why I am very cautious. It is honestly nothing against you, that experience just scared me because you really don't know who you are talking to!

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Original Message YOU sent on 10/14/2010 9:39:27 AM

ME: Wow, now thats creepy. Maybe i should start worrying about if you are who you say you are too....lol. JK jk. As a guy i'm not as scared but If i were a chick like you i would especially be..so i see what your saying. If you wana Facebook friend request me thing go head or just browse if u want. My info isn't private and I have nothing to hide. I usually go on once a day, unlike you girly girls who are ALways checkin your FACEbook on your phones!! UGH...I think its cute tho:)



Her: Well thank you for understanding. I mean, he was probably just one crazy guy, but something like that sticks with you, no matter how nice you guys are online--that always pops in my head. You really are a nice guy and I can tell you aren't creepy but I have my guard up because of that and I hate it, but I can't help it! I'll check out your Facebook, do a little stalking of my own and you may in the coming days see a request from me haha. And yes, I always check my Facebook... I can't live without it haha.

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anyone? Theres been many other messages between her and i, but that was the only time i asked for her number fyi

ok look she doesnt want to give you her number, you dont have enough confort becuase of her previous bad expirience, in this case i would transition from pof to fb, then fb to txt/meet.

yeah but i'm runnin outa stuff to message her. What stuff should i talk to her about other thann how her day was etc....any pointers?

First off wreckingball...don't expect a reply to a message in less than 30 minutes...

Second...Jtaz is right on. You need to build more comfort. Honestly, girls with that experience aren't harder to get the # of...just different. Once you get her on facebook you can use the chat. With that, you can get a quick back and forth banter going and get her laughing/enjoying herself. Then..you can ask for the number while you guys are more "live." She has less time to consider why she might not want to..and she'll feel more comfortable having "talked" to you live.

Just talk about anything..tell some stories..have her tell you some stories...

I know its only been a couple days since i made this thread, The story thing is working but....How many more days do you think I should put into this? She still hasnt FB me even though she said she would. Would you reccomend I not message her for a day or two? week? see if she responds?

Not tryin to sound desperate, I am talkin to other girls on pof, but this bitch is hot, young and seems mad chill. I wana know what you think is best

You seem to be qualifying yourself to her, dont wait around if she doesnt want to give out the number go to the next one. I'd freeze out on the messages for a few days, then reopen on facebook through a comment say something like "Hey trouble, how have you been?" when she asks how youve been respond with something funny like "Great like tony the tiger" youve got to assume the alpha role here though. Your time is important and you dont want to play message tag, let her know this. "You seem like a change of pace from all the others, but Im a busy man and not a fan of playing message tag, whats your number kiddo?"

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Should i message her that on POF u mean? She still has not FB friend requested so that is out of the picture as of now. I'm Still working on the transition from POF TO FB. The only thing she gives me is the ability to message her on POF and have her respond everytime. Its clear she interested but i am not use to it taking this long. My question is what can i say or do to show her that i'm here and serious about meeting her.

I'd skip the facebook and get the number first, say something like "Im not a fan of message tag kiddo, whats your number? I promise Ill only send 50 creepy text messages a day, and call at 3am breathing heavily into the phone " let us know her response

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dudee no way, that def scare her away

Why would it scare her away? The problem is you're conveying your insecurities and neediness within your writing as if you need a relationship and as if you want to make some kind of relationship work out fast. What you need to do is just relax, message more playfully with a little more banter just like supafly23's message. You really think that is going to scare her away? Girls don't get scared away by playful message they get scared away by guys that take it all too seriously.

aight....i'm gona give it a couple days an try it, i let u guys know what happins lol

like zodiac said, it wont scare her away. Be sure to add in a wink or face at the end to convery your joking. women eat that kind of shit up

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