Hey everyone, long time lurker and first time poster. Been having a decent amount of success with the online game (POF).

Anyways there's this one bizarre case I'd really like to resolve.

Started talking to this one off POF and she was a bit slow at first. Added her to BBM and facebook, but she kept dodging the meet-up. So I decided to escalate just by BBMing then eventually calling. Long story short I managed to escalate it very nicely, where she started sending me naked pictures, and even calling me for phone sex. She frequently says how much she wants to see me and much she wants me, and even that she wants to come over to my place after work. (This was supposed to happen several times but something ALWAYS came up). And no, she doesn't live far away and we both have cars.

Anyways, I figured maybe she didn't want to be seen as a slut, so I just told her to come join me for a drink. Did this a few times and really got nothing back. NOW, the weirdest part...She wants to go a small trip with me for my birthday. (visiting old college town and she wants to come). That's a few weeks away and still haven't met up with her.

Long read I know. Hopefully you guys can provide a bit of insight on what to do. Would really like to lock this one down. And yes, there are others from POF that I could focus more attention on and just might do that. This one though...gorgeous and much more attracted to her.

CLIFFS:

-met girl on POF
-exchange #, FB
-escalate to phone sex/naked pics
-avoids meeting up with me
-wants to come on a trip with me
-still haven't met her

Humm, if i was you i would try feezing her out, or suggest something like coffee at lunchtime, if you work near her this is very feasable and less presurised than a traditional date.

I'd be reluctant to take a trip without meeting somebody. Especially, given the circumstances here. My alarms are going off. So, don't do that for sure :O

That said, she's kind of jerking you around. Now, you have to use your judgment based on the particular facts of the situation. One way to handle it is an ultimatum: "look I've had a lot of fun talking to you, I think you're great, but I'm not willing to take a trip with someone (don't say you... say someone, anyone) unless we've met in person at least a couple of times. so let's meet up, have a drink, it'll be fun" It has to be presented in a very non-confrontational manner, not in some aggressive ultimatum. do not act frustrated. This is probably what I would do because I hate playing games and being jerked around. I'd be pissed if someone kept canceling on me last minute.

Ignoring the trip for a moment, what you can't do is keep letting yourself getting jerked around (and that's for reasons of self-respect, and beyond just from a PUA point of view). Unless of course you're content with phone sex. but don't discount the fact that she has someone else's portfolio of pics and is a fatty with a sexy voice You gotta put your foot down. the two options i see are an ultimatum, or distancing yourself. no more phone sex, short answers of POF, if any. why? because you have better things to do then get blown off. other women want you and won't play games. there's hard to get, which is understandable. then there's being inconsiderate, which is what's going on here.

but honestly, I've never encountered anything close to this situation. I would have cut her off after the first blowoff, even if she was hot. but that's me and I hate hate hate those kind of games. maybe someone else has better advice.

I wouldn't take her serious for now, especially the fact she's blowing hot and cold with you!

I wouldn't want her on the trip with me, and the fact you haven't met is laughable in my honest opinion.

Freeze her out for a day or 2, see if she comes running.

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Been there, done it, oh and still doing it!

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