If you imagine for a moment, the best thing that could happen to you on a dating site is every message you send gets a response. You might be thinking what you could accomplish with a foolproof message.

And yet there’s plenty of threads on here about supposedly amazing openers and always a mix of guys reporting how they worked and how they didn’t.

There’s obviously something missing in this picture

An x-factor that’s affecting the results. Ie X + same message = variety of results.

What do we all have that could be different…..

It’s our profiles.

The next obvious question is how much does profile influence the result.

Well, I’ve been experimenting on pof recently and discovered something interesting. Profile is way more important than message. By profile I mean “about me”.

I borrowed AychQ’s okcupid about me from this thread
okcupid-profile-critique-vt72643.html

By itself I would categorize this as cocky funny vague.

It didn’t seem to matter what I wrote in a message 90% of girls read my profile and replied. It didn’t even matter if my messages weren’t clever or funny. Most of the time I just picked holes in their profiles.

As it happens I don’t have AychQ’s sense of humor and can’t live up to the expectation that profile creates and sooner or later got burned. The hotter chicks burned me after my second message. That’s irrelevant though.

The point is you live and die by your profile

The importance of vague

Girls acutely read between the lines, look for meanings and judge factual information. In real life they’re are attracted to what you are like and less bothered about what you specifically like, Thus Factual information on a profile is out of context of personality. Given the lack of personality in most profiles girls are forced to judge by fact to limit the possibilities and minor facts in limited information naturally gain greater importance. A book called blink is about people's ability and inability to rationally interpret limited amounts of information.

In any event the best thing you can is be is an unknown quantity + strongly attractive personality attributes. This most closely emulates real life.

congruency becomes a major factor in all of this. It's no good using someone else's profile if you can't live up to the expectations it creates. You have to illustrate your OWN sense of humor and level of confidence.