Hey guys,

I'm trying out this plentyoffish.com thing and I'm hoping ya'll would lend some of your varied expertise to critiquing my profile.

http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile ... d=20502676

I take all criticism, harsh as it may be
It's the only way to grow, I think.

Of course, if it's good, you can let me know too ^_^




....Probably should have done this before I sent out all those messages....

_________________
If the dream is won
Though everything is lost
We will pay the price,
But we will not count the cost.
-Rush

Talon,

First, I would like to tell you that you did a good job of getting nice photos of yourself on the site. I like how you showed you out doing activities in the photos which is very important. You also showed yourself with your guy friends and women to show normal healthy relationships with both (DHV).

Your interests are good but I would try to expand them if you can. Even if there is something that you haven't done but are willing to try then include that in your interests as that will give you better search results, and the girls will find you easier.

The "About Me" section on your POF account needs some tweaking. I got a good sense of what you like to do from this area. I get that you like hanging with your friends, what music you listen to, and what you do for a living BUT you only spent one sentence describing who you are. "I'm highly adventurous, with an open mind, and really like to do new things with little to no planning (this has gotten me into some amazing situations)."

Can you expand on this and who you are some and what you are like. You could do this by telling one of those amazing situations stories to give your reader a better idea of what you are like and how you handled one of those situations.

Lastly, you need to include a few sentences about what you are looking for. A lot of guys online do this where they talk about them and what they are like but don't spend a lot of time talking about what they want in a woman. Then many women who read the profile aren't sure if they are going to meet your expectations move on to another profile. Be sure to explain the type of girl you are looking for. What is she like? What does she like to do? Are there any personality traits she'd need to have to get along with you?

Hope it helps brother,

Jon

I don't have time to go through any edits, but I will tell you 2 things you need to remove:

Your reason for FOR should not be 'intimate encounter'. Not only will you get 0 normal girls to write back to you but a lot of girls block users who have that as their preference and a lot (maybe 60-70%) have a setting to not receive any messages from you if you have ever messaged a girl looking for an intimate encounter.

and you NEED to remove this: "If you're horny...well, then, your place! Or if that's too far, the nearest semi-private location haha"

There is no need to be that open, I have f-closed chicks that just had 'hang out' as their reason for being on there. I'd say most girls on there will put out if you play your cards right...but right now you are showing the table you have a 2 and 3 off-suit which means they aren't going to take you seriously and pretty much killing your chances of meeting anyone on there.

Good points, all.

I've been going through and tweeking and re-tweeking the profile. Somethings sounded good at the time, and others not so much. So I did take that last comment out, and I changed the "intimate encounter" to "Hangout."

I added more about myself and I mentioned what sort of girl I'm interested in. I think it all looks and reads better now, but I'm still working to improve it.

Thanks, guys!

_________________
If the dream is won
Though everything is lost
We will pay the price,
But we will not count the cost.
-Rush