Ok so i decided to give online game a go funds have been low recently got cut down hours in work and cant afford club every weekend for the time being

so basically looking for some advice tips and critism on my POF profile

Headline : HOMELESS man seeking spare room

About me :

No Psycho stalker chicks ! i dont care how hot you think you are
I am comfortable in my own skin, even though I normally wear clothes
I live life to the full you only get one go and its far to short not to ! !
Im a rebel without a cause generally i just like mischief and doing things im not supposed too
I can talk to animals(they rarely respond)
I party like theres no tommorow live fast die young thats my motto
Im the type of guy that does what i want when i want
sometimes I can be a little bit of a***hole, since I speak my mind but in a good way
My favorite tv show is Pinky and the Brain im dead set on world domination
Am here for the banter lets see what the ladies have to offer
If i dont reply well im just not that into you or maybe im busy world domination is a full time job long hours and all

DISCLAIMER: This profile comes with a money-back guarantee. If you are not completely satisfied within 30 days of reading this, Full refund will be given

First date :

Happy meal at the local mcdonalds super fight in the ball pit
pub, fish nd chips casual sex at yours
actually i dont **** on first dates am not easy ya know


so guys what you think rip it apart give some constructive critism and any advice greatly appreciated

That profile isn't going to get you laid - that profile will make sure no reasonable lass will even message you back!

Girls on that website are almost all looking for their 'princes'; you have to play that role or they wont even talk to you.

Get rid of any negative words (homeless, stalker, psycho, dead, arsehole) as they will implant ideas in the girls mind, ideas that you really dont want her to have, and don't even think about mentioning sex in your profile unless you know how to bring it up in a subtle and tasteful way. At the moment you're just another one of the many desparate chavs on there competing for her attention - and girls don't want desparate chavs for boyfriends; they're after their 'prince', remember?

Take your time to fix any and all spelling mistakes and write in paragraphs with punctuation. Just doing those things will put you way above most of your competition... because no matter how interesting your messages and pictures are, girls will read your profile, and that rambling mess you are thinking about using, will turn the vast majority of them completely off.

Sorry, but that's the truth!

My first impression: You are trying way too hard.

Every line is a joke. That's a recipe for disaster. It's good to convey a sense of humor, but it's not good to come off like you can't ever be serious.

Second of all, you come across as perhaps psychotic. Even though I know you're probably not, a girl would have to put her trust in you to meet you. Saying you talk to animals is not going to build trust with a girl. Trust is HUGE online. Avoid anything that could make you seem dangerous.

Third, don't say you are a rebel. Rebels don't have to say it. Always CONVEY qualities you want to have, don't say them. So you might tell a story: "One time i was fired from a job for telling the boss how to do his job". That's not the best example, but it's better because it conveys your rebellious nature through a story.
It's therefore more believable.

Sorry if that was harsh. Just trying to look at it like a girl would. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me.

_________________
We Help Men
Attract the Women They
Want by Enhancing Their
Online Presence
www.dateperday.com
Get the free eCourse - Lesson 2: How To Send a Follow Up Message