Hi Guys,

a quick bit of background I've gamed this woman online and we moved it over to text to arrange a meet. She has been a bit 'awkward' and stated a time and place. I said I couldn't do it and suggested an alternative. She then asks for more info and more photos of myself. I replied "Ok cute"

I then get this text "Thought of u...was excellent! Ta! Later xx00 and with a little frustration!"

I normally have a vague idea what women are talking about - but this has me puzzled. Obviously there was a power struggle and shit test. Have I passed it or is it another one?

I think there's a little subtext about what she was doing while thinking of you that you're missing. Could just be my overly perverted brain though.

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Trust me.

Maybe I'm reading this incorrectly, but it looks like that text was meant FOR SOMEONE ELSE.

I had that feeling too - Oh well - another one bites the dust I guess. Though to be frank if she's this controlling and awkward pre-meeting fuck knows what she'd be like in real life - so a lucky escape maybe. Shame she seemed to have a sense of fun and spirit.


Pantheon
"I think there's a little subtext about what she was doing while thinking of you that you're missing. Could just be my overly perverted brain though."

I've never seen the xxOO thing before. I don't think I'll ever know. If I do meet her and find out about this I'll let you guys know

I see your dilema. It could mean one of two things one good or one bad.

1. She thinks you look good and pleasured herself or something to your pictures (doubt it) since most girls aren't that far out there, if she is It could almost be a red flag (sex addiction?)

2. It was meant for someone else, and that someone else got in her pants.


Either way you got the text and have the right to respond if you want to.

I'd say this if you do respond

"I know.... I'm just that good " or something funny so even if it wasn't meant for you she gets a laugh.

If she responds like "oh that was for someone else bla bla bla"

just say "oh well that's a shame...because your missing out on one of the best" or something like that.

Thanks Chazman. I came to the conclusion that the text was meant for someone else. I've sent a neutral text and have had no reply so I guess she ain't interested.

I'm not that bothered to meeting her or not. What I find interesting was that she seemed prepared to meet me but became progressively awkward when I didn't agree to her conditions so to speak. She suggested a place date and time - it wasn't to my liking and I really did not want her setting it to be frank, so I told her it was not workable and made my suggestion. After that she became awkward wanting more info about myself, more photos. Probably some control freak and I'm better off NOT meeting her!

Update: I just got an email from her and it's LJBF as she's met someone. She has received a polite NO to the LJBF.Move on as there are more people

Maybe it was a blessing that you saw those red flags early and then got a free pass from her to move on. Trust me my last 2 girlfriends were pyscho...and I'm not kidding. The girl you described here just seemed controlling which isn't that rare a lot.


*****Just a side story *****
I hope you don't experience what I went through where the red flags aren't always so easy to see. Where they intentionally pull your interest in, idolize you, make you feel great, adventurous and appear so attractive and too good to be true that you miss all the red flags. Then by the time you realize..... it's too late to avoid the emotional abuse to come.


Anyway, I got lucky with my last ex (not the one before her though)and got lied to, cheated on, AND then blamed for the reason (for existing basically) where as the night before she told me she loved me and she can't wait to see me ( 5 days before I was going to fly over and visit her during Christmas for a second time in a long distance LTR). I then found out she was probably a case of Narcissistic personality disorder.
*******

I still wish I saw the red flags early but they aren't always so easy to see especially in a long distance LTR.

Also what you did was good, so that leaves the door open for her to come running back to you if whoever she is seeing now takes off, she'll know she made a mistake and will try really hard to get you back.(where as an AFC LJBF guy hangs around for a while long term wishing to be with her and she knows he's always a desperate option for her)

But if she does ever return in to your life, I'd watch her personality more closely for those red flags. Let me correct that...ANY girl you start seeing for LTR ....watch out for red flags. They may not be as bad as my experience but still good to avoid. Statistics show 1/4 people have a mental problem, so it's not that uncommon.

So my point, consider yourself possibly lucky(I don't know her, you do) and move on

Hi Chazman,

I was very brief in my polite thanks but no thanks reply. I was tempted to write a longer reply just to get some frustration out of my system.

Here's what I would have written -

"Thanks for your reply. Good luck in your new relationship. I have to admit to being disappointed.

Regarding your offer of being/staying friends...in my experience this could mean a number of things - in decreasing likeliness.

1 - you're offering the friendship as a way of rejecting me without directly rejecting me

2 - you do really want to be friends but know deep down with a new boyfriend/girlfriend relationship that the time needed to nurture a new friendship will not be readily available and nothing will happen despite good intentions.

3 - you like the idea of having a reserve, a backup in case the current boyfriend ends up being a loser. A friend will typically be given scraps of attention and vague hints that it will become the 'real thing'

4 - you really do appreciate friendships and will spend the necesary time and effort to maintain it and still have a healthy relationship with your boyfriend.

Regards

Sky"

That actually felt good to get it out of my system.

Regarding red flags - having suffered a bad marriage I'm very sensitive to red flags and think I'm very good at spotting them. Unfortunately what happens sometimes is the scarcity mentality kicks in just after spotting a deal breaker and I'm thrown into indecision for a while. Luckily it's only temporary and then I move on.