What did I do wrong? (FB) **Great Opener!**



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PostPosted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 5:42 am 
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Context: So there was this HB8 I found on my friends wall post that I thought was really cute. So I sent a friend request with a message that said "Hi! I'm cute and you're cute so lets be friends!".

She accepted

I then sent her a message a day after she accepted:

Me
Don't you know you shouldn't add random people on facebook? It's dangerous...
You totally failed your parent's test :)

Her

hahaha
well, I guess the little message that came with your request did the trick

Me

Yeah..telling them might break their heart..so I'll let it slide just this once.
You totally owe me First Name, Last Name..btw is it zoo?
(I asked if that was how you pronounce her last name since it was weird; she's asian)

Her
Haha, oh thankss so muchh
and yeah, a lot of people pronounce it zoo. Or shoe. Or schway. I've heard just about everything

Me
aha sucks to be you!!
Mine is so simple :)

That would be awesome though if they totally mispronounced it on graduation
---------------
Now I really thought we kicked it off great and I really wanted to get to know her but she hasn't responded back and I know she received and looked at the message. Instead of taking this negatively, I'm starting to take it positively by learning from my mistakes.
So....
What did I do wrong?!


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 1:28 pm 
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Before your last message
Quote:
Me
aha sucks to be you!!
Mine is so simple :)

That would be awesome though if they totally mispronounced it on graduation
It was time to drop the opener and change subjects while you still had a positive responce. "Sucks to be you!!!" come on man. The opener ran its course and you just took it too far this time. Oh well, live and learn.

~Jon

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 4:19 pm 
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Yeah I figured I did something wrong around there. But I always have trouble changing subjects...Like don't you have to slowly transition to subjects? Or can you just suddenly talk about something else and it'll be cool?

Ex w/ transition
Her: Most people pronounce my name wrong blah blah blah
Me: (I'll try to think of something where I can bring something that is relevant to what she said. Like most people so talk about what most people think about her?)

OR

Her: Most people pronounce my name wrong blah blah blah
Me: Omg do you love chipotle?!

Okay I know those are bad examples but do you know what I mean?


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 5:29 pm 
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yeah its like you kept opening over and over again ahha move to midgame brett

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 5:43 pm 
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Can I get any examples of what I should've done?

Thanks for the help..Definately +reppin you both :D


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 5:29 am 
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I would have changed the topic to something about shoes, zoos or schway


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 12:15 pm 
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You can only stretch a piece of string so far until it breaks. Well hopefully you will learn from this mistake.

Sometimes it happens and the great thing about facebook is you can just pick another hot girl and try again.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 4:11 pm 
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Quote:
Yeah I figured I did something wrong around there. But I always have trouble changing subjects...Like don't you have to slowly transition to subjects? Or can you just suddenly talk about something else and it'll be cool?

Ex w/ transition
Her: Most people pronounce my name wrong blah blah blah
Me: (I'll try to think of something where I can bring something that is relevant to what she said. Like most people so talk about what most people think about her?)

OR

Her: Most people pronounce my name wrong blah blah blah
Me: Omg do you love chipotle?!

Okay I know those are bad examples but do you know what I mean?
There are a few schools of thought on transitioning.

1 - some think you should gradually steer it away from a topic to more interesting topic. A sudden shift is likely to break rapport

2 - others think that you shouldn't transition and just go into another topic regardless and it does not have to be connected to the current topic .

Either way can work or fail.

I think alsex gave a few possible transitioning topics.

A possibility would have been to say that your name gets mispronounced when you're abroad and you can move the topic to travel, holidays, exotic places...

One useful piece of advice is multi task while chatting. Firstly it slows your responses down so you can think better and secondly it gives you chance to surf for trivia relating to the topic you're chatting about.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'll add an aspect which people haven't mentioned. In your original post

"That would be awesome though if they totally mispronounced it on graduation"

It comes across as if you're making fun of her name. I appreciate that it is unlikely to have been intended but think about it ... imagine being in a hall with hundreds of other people and the spotlights on you and they fuck up your name. That's shit not awesome! A person's name is the most important word in the world for them. People with shit names are still proud of them. She'd imagine it messing up one of the biggest days in her life!

Ok everyone says the wrong thing on occasion.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 7:25 pm 
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You easily got have DHV'd right there.

"That's so funny because I have this friend ... "
"That actually makes me think of my good friend who ... "
"That's funny because I went to the zoo last week with some of my friends and ... "

Live and learn.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 11:39 pm 
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Quote:
You easily got have DHV'd right there.

"That's so funny because I have this friend ... "
"That actually makes me think of my good friend who ... "
"That's funny because I went to the zoo last week with some of my friends and ... "

Live and learn.
Awesome awesome...Thanks guys for all the help...Yeah I realize that I shouldn't have gone that route..I was joking around but I can see that it came off a bit harsh :/

Oh well


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