Hey guys, I started to online sarge a bit but... when i wrote those HB's a private msg they usually dont respond :S, i go like:
"hey wazzuup? , you look like a cool girl, you should get to know me! :P do you got msn??"
but the thing is: it doesnt seem to work... my profile is not that bad, i got some funny pics of me, a normal one and me doing a bboy move (air freeze). about me i wrote that i hope they hate me and that i dont really care what the think about me (with smiley's). something like that, but i dont get any fucking answers or even comments :S what the fuck?
could you tell me what I'm doin wrong please?

Greets, Joker

hey Joker
Personally as a girl (well, woman of 31!), I would say don't write 'wazzzupp' or whatever it is an an introductory line unless you are a very young teenager...are you that?

Too many smileys looks like you're scared she won't get you and you're trying too hard...offering out your msn screenname or cell phone numbers in the first email sounds desperate...like you give it out to just anyone without it being special.

I say, tone it down, sound more chilled out and relaxed and friendly...make a little neg about her profile, pick out a TV show she likes or film or a picture, whatever, but be cute, not insulting...especially about her pics, watch what you say so she doesn't just think f&ck off you rude bastard!

Hope this helps

Red

That's a horrible way to go about it, good advice above.

The last thing you should be doing is trying to get contact information before you even get her to respond to you. As said, 'wazzzup' is probably the lowest form of question you can ask, aside from maybe 'wanna fuck'.

Like the above poster said, ask her an open-ended question about her from whatever you've learned by reading her profile. Be smart and start a conversation from this. Use proper grammar and at least try to appear intelligent.

Absolutely agree with all that..sound like you are worth talking to...your opener sounded like you could send it to a hundred girls and not change it at all for each one...try showing you actually DID read her profile..it doesn't take long to do!

BTW...I have had a few emails saying 'wanna fuck' as an opener..and guess what...IT DOESN'T WORK!
Lol

Hey guys, thanks a lot for your posts, I see that i did a lot of things the wrong way. I decided to write that to a girl that wrote about her hobbies: "i dunnooooo..." and i wrote: Hey, i hope you are not that boring that you dont have a hobby?! or are u??
what do you think? did i get the point about what I did wrong or is it still not a good message?

Hmm, well I can see you're trying to neg her, but it just sounds to me a bit harsh, not that funny (but I'm a sensitive soul!).

But no one wants to be called boring, so I'd be interested to know if she replies and how she replies! I think I may reply if someone called me boring because I'd be pissed off they thought that without knowing me (and those who know me would never call me boring lmao!)!

If she does, don't get too carried away that you got a response, be cool again in the reply, don't get over excited and come on too strong/eager in email number 2 just because she replied to email number 1. Write words properly as well, not with this kind of thing 'helllloooooo'...make it sound like you are intelligent, amusing and grown up.

Hope she replies, but if not, no biggie.

Negs online are very tricky and should be avoided at initial contact. She can't hear your tone of voice or see your facial expression so it can easily be taken as a harsh comment and make you look like an asshole.

I agree..the whole internet thing is more risky without tone of voice and facial expressions...hence us all writing 'lol', smileys etc to make sure we are not misunderstood and sound like a bunch of monkeys

You know what man I feel you! I give up on online dating. I am having zero luck at getting anyone to respond. It just starts to make you feel like a loser after a while. I'm not even a bad looking guy either. But women just don't respond. I've tried normal to cocky to nice to funny and you name it. Nothing works. So I for one am giving up on the whole online dating thing. If you come up with something great that gets a response. Please let me know.

Ones I respond to are usually complimentary or a neg...but not complimentary in a crude way like 'you've got bedroom eyes'...'wanna f*ck', 'here's my cell number, email address etc', 'wow you're stunning'...or even 'you look interesting'!
They're either way too strong and obvious you just want cyber sex or to meet up and have sex, or they're nothing that makes you WANT to reply!

So I guess, I would maybe tease them about something they have written on their profile, a song/band/TV show (have said this before I know) and see if that works...but don't sound too cocky, in an email they can't see that you're half kidding

You could try this kind of thing: Hi (insert their screename so it doesn't sound generic), I'm new to myspace and came across your profile, thought you sounded interesting, particularly your liking of (XYZ, insert something to make it sound again like you read her profile, not a generic email you send everyone), nice pics, saw your friend list and don't you think I'd look good on it?

That's off the top of my head...you may not like, I will try and think of ones I am likley to respond to. I hate to say it but your pics can make a huge difference to if someone replies. If your pic is you looking creepy/too wacky/too posey/fake...that all may be reasons why they don't reply too.

Red (with a sore head this morning from too much wine last night!)
x

I just found one from a guy who contacted me ages ago...we still speak and have become close...I feel bit weird sharing this but as it's just the opening email it doesn't really say too much!

You can see what he said, and my response...back in May this year (hope this is helpful, may only work with girls who are tired of the sh*t men say!):
Oh and the Joseph comment was because there was a TV series here where they were auditioning 'normal' people to be the lead role in the muscial 'Joseph and his Amazing blah blah' for Andrew Llloyd Webber...

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From:
Date: 13 May 2007, 11:04

hello (my screenname went here)
i'm that genuine guy your looking for, i'm not going to mess with your head and i don't fancy myself as the next joseph so if you wanna chat about anything, i'm here. you already know the area.
see you (his name went here)

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From:
Date: 13 May 2007, 12:18


Lol...that's a good opening email (his name!)...thank you!
I'm glad to hear it, am too tired of head messers, hot and cold, too weird for me.

Know the area, what do you mean?
Nice to see you, am happy to chat
(My name)

Great stuff Red! You are one of the reasons why I think having women on this forum is a huge asset and guys stand to learn a lot.

Here is some advice that seems to work for me..... It doesn't matter if you are on match, myspace, or whatever. People post profiles about themself which gives you a huge advantage. Don't be generic, rather aim for the "different" angle. Guys typically email one of two ways. 1. I'm a AFC pls talk to me or 2. I'm a creepy douchebag who wants to fuck or cyber. Think about this, every girl will list something unique about herself. This can be a stretch because having read sooooo many profiles I sometimes want to vomit b/c of the redundency. Your job is to find that special "thing" about her and tease/coment on it. Let her know you picked up on it. She put it there for a reason, and that should be good enough for you to make a connection.

Don't rush the contact either. I usually wait about 5-8 emails before I attempt to contact her outside of match. Follow up with about a 15 to 25 min phone call then another quick one day or two later to set up the date. You can't force the rapport, girls think they know too many horror stories about online dating. Well unless she is a cougar, and that's a whole nother story.

_________________
-Mercan

"If it squeals, mount it!"

Thanks Mercan...happy to help

And you're spot on...sod all the one line cyber sex/you look hot bollocks...read her profile if you really do want to get a reply and email her about something she's mentioned. It's not hard and you can always neg her for something she has said she likes...tease her but don't insult her right off the bat!

Happy shopping lol

I joined match for awhile to see what all the hype was about and had extreme success, but I can't say it's because I had amazing messages or anything. Not to sound cocky, but I already had a lot of success outside of the internet so I guess it just sort of transferred.

Make your profile different though, that's important. I had so many women tell me 'you seem different than everyone else on here, I like it'

If you're on a dating site, talk a lot about your personal experiences rather than a ton about your everyday stuff. 'I've gained a better understanding of life and death through a recent tragedy in my family' is a lot more interesting than 'I'm a caring person'.

Not to mention that words like life and death are very powerful and stand out to women. Take things like that into consideration. Get into their head unlike the other hundreds of losers trying to make contact.