I'm no expert but I registered here and have never contributed. I'll make an effort to do so.

I'm most successful at starting a conversation when I follow these rules:

1.) When sending a note, type and stop thinking. Also, keep it around 2 short paragraphs. Grammar counts. If you spend more than 2 minutes second guessing you are probably going to sound robotic, scripted or insecure.

This, basically, is just like quality writing. If I get all pretentious my creativity suffers.

2.) Find one point from their profile and make a brief comment about that. Try to pick the thing she loves most to encourage a response.

3.) If I neg it's very mildly.

4.) Share some random humorous experience. Just be random in general. Tuna, Ron Burgandy, Virtual Reality Goggles, Scoring Roman coins on eBay.. etc.

5.) I'm finding that two or three notes is about the right time to ask for digits, aim or facebook.

6.) Follow up on neglected messages. I've been fielding enough that I get lazy and ignore a response.

7.) Have a decent mindset when approaching the keyboard. If you feel crummy, write, call a funny friend or listen to upbeat music to refill your wit.

8.) Remember your subject. A few I've had fun with. "Social Studies" "(some retarded 80's song) is this note's soundtrack." "I'm fearless when it comes to rejection." "I only date supermodels." (I stole that somewhere). "Your profile is almost as good as mine." "I promise not to propose."

9.) I never send a second unsolicited note, obviously. I've been surprised at some of the way late responses I've gotten.

10.) Read Zessler's On Writing. The most concise way to phrase the lesson given by this book is: "Don't make the reader work!"

I've dated 3 girls and made a few friends. I've exchanged more than a few notes with perhaps 15 girls. I can't say I've engaged in any adult activities recently, but that's my fault and not that of my writing.

sweet post, rep+

could you explain what an unsolicited note is? do you mean when you get no response?

also, do you have any tips for going from online to meeting IRL ?

Zige - That is a very nice summary for online game tho there are some things I would add tho.
I would also add do NOT say anything about how you want to have sex with her or how nice some part of her body is. Better don't say anything to this regard at all while you are sending her messages/notes. I am not saying you can't comment on her nice smile in her pictures. But more don't say anything about her breasts or butt. Now if things go sexual online that is a different story.
And if you do neg, put a smiley face or something so the girl knows your "joking". Other wise she will more than likely take it as an insult.
I generally agree. Tho I have run into girls that had bad luck with meeting guys from online and you need to send more than two or three messages/notes to the girl to get their number. I tend to play it safe and go to five tho.
I would also add here to wait a couple of days before you send a follow up note/message.

I notice that as well at how some girls will reply back a week or sometimes more after you send them a message. With these girls I tend to not reply back that quickly.

is it okay to not reply their notes/msgs at all , if they take way too long like 2 or 3 weeks ?

_________________
kamadeva

Yup.

ok good, but tell me something, lots of times im in this situation and i cant get out
me - Random thing about the profile or something
her - yeah
me - so what u doin
her - nothing...
WTf im suppose to answer that... she isnt showin any interest. Oh and im talkin about girls that i've chatted online with them and they have shown interest before... 50% of the times she is messaging me first, 50% of the times im first...

Great thread and great input Jurupa. Wish there were more threads here like this.

- Exerio

Well what do you expect ? - its a pretty lame question. I mean my definition at the time the person comes to answer the question they are sitting at the computer almost certainly doing pretty much "nothing". At least ask what they were upto at the weekend or maybe if they have anything exciting planned.

(s)

Ask better questions. Or don't ask questions at all. I usually make my 3rd messages longer. (I don't pour my heart out on the 2nd message ever!) Keep rolling with the fun. If I can't think of anything from my real world social life that seems a Barrel Of Monkeys, I'll talk about some of the crazy / stupid nonsense that I've engaged in while online dating. If you want to ask a question save it for the end of a funny note.

When you make a move for a number though, I've been keeping it simple, and do it after a good exchange or when she's all "LOL" "haha" etc..

Something like:
"This is exhausting and slow. Facebook is easier. Be my facebook friend."
(facebook link)

Or,
You are too much. It's good to make new friends. I dare you to give me your cell # and see what happens.

From my experience on MySpace messaging and talking to hundreds of girls over the course of this year, I can say these pieces of advice are gold. Ever thought about writing a full-blown guide?

Speaking of number closes. I always wait until the attraction is at its first peek, and then I threaten to leave cold: "This is my last message to you until I see a number." (something I learned on these forums).

Works very well. But it has to be said at the right time, right as you've really captured her interest. Wait any longer, and it doesn't hold near the power.

Your welcome.