How would a great PUA reply to this online?

ME:
After a rigorously brief overview of your profile, I wanted to let you know I have already married and divorced you in my mind.

Thanks for all the wonderful imaginary memories... you will always have a special place in my heart.

your ex-hubby,

Omar

ps. You can keep the house in Hawaii, and Paris but, I am going to need half our money according to our prenup.

Her:
.... im really confused right now
hah

Me:
haha, And we divorced because of your fling with the pool boy, Pablo, remember?

Her:
right... look, whatever youre takin keep doing so! and better yet, share!!

Me:
haha, as far as Pablo goes, I had a fling with your sister right before the wedding while you were taking sooooooo long to get ready.

You know this doesn't have to get bitter. Remember our pillow fights right before the great sex and the romantic dinners I would make you?

Her:
you should be a writer. if i take another look at this, im gonna start truly believin it

Me:
A writer huh? haha, come on girl wheres you sense of humor.. Haha, we seem to get along so well now that all that's over. Ever consider giving it another shot? I mean we were pretty good together.

Her:
i gotta admit, this is the best example of a pick-up line/convo ive ever confronted
youre pretty good, what can i say?

p.s. let me know when youre done with the bs and ready to have a normal discussion with me..

Me:
Haha, its about time you noticed, after all these years on facebook.. lol.. Normal discussion huh? Are you asking me out sweetie?

Her:
sweetie is something you can call one of your typical girl toys..i , unlike them, will never be classified as that. besides, it is extremely hard for us to see each other when one is all the way on another continent..wouldn't you say so? and just for the record, my 2 years on facebook is not a "bunch" of time.. as you previously stated

Me:
Haha, alright alright don't be so feisty, I'll just have to come up with a "special" nickname for ya... So tell me, you say you're different than all of "them" .. What special quality makes you different? And what continent are you causing trouble on?

Her:
skippin all the bs youre imposing, you really just had nothin to do one day but just didnt know how to talk to a girl so you started fantsizin...or what?
i mean if u really wanted to talk to me that bad, you couldve jut been normal..but thats right- normal is boring got it



So now, what would you say to that? I'm usually good at online game, but I'm stumped on this one, and need your help.. Thanks guys...

I say "fess" up and "admit" that you wanted to talk to her. Because lets face it this girl is two steps ahead of you. There is no real point in trying to run your routine on her at this point.

I'd personally say normal is boring and that's why I'm not normal.
Or something like that.

Its probably too late, but just say "Im not the only one in this conversation", and move on the the cube

Let me point out a couple things I see with your game:

1) don't mention pablo. Just the fact that you're bringing another guy into it makes you have to compete for alpha.

2) she gave you an opportunity to make a jump into a normal conversation, but you didn't take it. Try and make a smooth transition into what you're doing this weekend.

(although I do give you props about bangin her sister while waiting for the wedding. Nice move)