I almost feel bad, because I tore this guy a new one tonight. But I just can't. Here is a beautiful example of doing EVERYTHING WRONG:

First, this was over IM on a dating site.

Guy:hi
RTtastic:hi
Guy:how are you
RTTastic:bored
Guy:how come
RTTastic:cause I need more intellectual stimulation than "hi"
Guy:well... tell me what topic intellectually stimulates you
Guy:i can try
RTTastic:see, if you were creative enough, and my type, you'd have come up with a better opener already
donjuan0:if you can come to that conclusion...by one statement... what can i say
Guy:maybe when i go to sleep tonight i may have a dream about you ?
RTTastic:well, it's common. When meeting in the real (non digital) world a woman decides if she is interested in the first 30 seconds. On line, it happens within the first 3 lines.
RTTastic:and that's the closest you'll ever get. lol especially bein in Barbados?
Guy:on vacation
RTTastic:and you change your entire location because of that?
RTTastic:strange
Guy:women usually say i should state my location
Guy:cant please them ..lol
RTTastic:well, the problem is that this site is meant to meet people. So weather you're on vacation or not, your location should indicate where you are looking to meet people.....
Guy:good point
Guy:thats true
RTTastic:who shot your pictures?
(here, I was trying to give him an opportunity to say something...anything interesting)
Guy:ex
(he failed)
RTTastic:I'm out of things to say, your profile is just about as boring as your opening conversation skills.
Guy:sorry u feel that way
RTTastic:me too, because your pictures are good, and you seem to be intelligent...but if you just want to go to sleep and veg out when you get home, you wouldn't be able to keep up with me anyway
Guy:if youre bored ...nice talking to you
RTTastic:if you say so.



So, comments, questions, want to tell me I'm a terrible person? Or give me a high 5? [/i]

Well he started with the typical AFC lines, i used to do that until recently. Never worked
How should you be "approached" online? Using a tease opener or something similar like in person?

JUST like in person. You can go ahead and say hello or hi first...but it would be better to just dive right in. Open an IM with a question (and that question should not be.... a/s/l???). An E-mail is generally based on a profile or SOME sort of experience with the person, so really look at the proofile, and come up with interesting things to say about items she enjoys. I actually wrote a blog post about e-mailing on dating sites...maybe I should post that. I'm not really sure it's all right for this site, but ...it might work....

_________________
Hobbit says that I should tell you I'm female.....so.....

HI!!! I'm a Girl!

having been there last night during that cluster of an approach, I guess I should weigh in on it.

My main complaint with it is this. If you are gonna email/IM someone, have something to say. Whether it be something that happened to you, a game to play, a question it doesn't matter. Just don't drop a "Hi" like she is gonna swoon after reading it! Women are people. You are people. Before you send an IM or email, ask yourself how you would feel and respond. Now, add in the fact that you get pestered by half-wits throughout your online and real life experiences and then re-evaluate your reaction. Yeah. Exactly. You need to bring at least a modicum of value to the table if she doesn't know you. DHV, entertain then move into qualifying. This was just a perfect example of what not to do. No value added, time seeped away. A total waste from the first 'H' he typed.

And if you were wondering, yes I am a fan of IMing a girl like she already cares about what happened to you. Why wouldn't she? After all, you are the prize right?

Panpan

Ok, I'll agree with you that the guy had weak ass game but, did you have to be such a bitch? Out of the thousands of girls I've talked to (in person, I think online game is lame) I've never gotten a bad result from just saying hi. You basically just ran him into the ground for being an AFC. Isn't being a PUA partly about helping guys like this get over their problems as opposed to bashing them into the ground? I don't know if you did this because you knew before hand that he was an AFC or if this is your real attitude when you meet guys like this (I'm assuming your female) but, you should probably try having a more positive attitude. All I see here is negativity and whether I have game or not, I wouldn't want to talk to you either.

Honestly, no, i'm not ALWAYS that mean. I was in a ....mood...last night though. And I was annoyed with the bombardment of idiocracy. Also, if he had actually made an effort, I would have warmed up. But he did nothing. I even gave him a bit of an opportunity to discuss something of interest (possibly to both), and he failed. Miserably.

I have let some AFCs work up to the conversation part in the past, and probably will in the future, I was just not in the mood to take the time or effort to do it.

I was even, partly, being a bitch because I wanted him to say "fuck this" and leave me alone. Didn't work.

_________________
Hobbit says that I should tell you I'm female.....so.....

HI!!! I'm a Girl!

I know that being a girl you can be moody sometimes but, you should stop and think about what your saying when things like this happen. How are you gonna feel when you find out that the guy you rejected is really a great guy or hell, even a millionaire or something? It's never wise to shoot yourself in the foot ya know.

Here's one I dealt with tonight. Another good example of bad game....but I was nicer this time.

Guy:Hi
RTTastic:hi
Guy:How r u?
RTTastic:bored.
Guy:bored why?
RTTastic:because there are a million things I SHOULD be doing, but I'm not. lol
Guy:LOL. I hear you on that
Guy:So what do you do for a living?
RTTastic:lol apparently you haven't really looked THAT hard at my profile.
Guy:waitressing and DJ stuff
Guy:also photographer
Guy:say I don't read profiles...
RTTastic:Very good! lol
RTTastic:so, if you already know that, what's the point in asking. Come up with something creative
Guy:photographer interesting business
RTTastic:fun, dosn't quite pay the bills
Guy:awww sorry to hear that
Guy:to many people in that business
RTTastic:economy is shit. People are getting thier friends to do photos for free in this digital age
Guy:economy might be in the shit, but this is the best time to start a company
RTTastic:yeah, if you have the capital to do it. Which I do not.
Guy:maybe or just the right connections for it
RTTastic:again, something I lack. But I get work enough.
RTTastic:A couple of weddings coming up, shooting promo shots for a comedian and a little bit of band work
Guy:not to bad
Guy:You'll probably see my company in the news in a few months
RTTastic:computers?
Guy:computers?
RTTastic:your company...it deals with computers of some sort, I'm guessing
Guy:I sold my business and started up another one

Blah bliddy blah blah...he went on for 45 mintues about his company....
which I kind of made clear at the beginning would be something that I probably wouldn't use anyway.

Guy:thanks for the input
Guy:So what kind of photo work do you do?
RTTastic:you forgot already??

after a 3 minute pause

Guy:no
RTTastic:then why did you ask?
Guy:do you do b/w type of shots at all with your photos?
Guy:do you bring any style that is special to you
RTTastic:I convert some of my work to b&w, but not all, only if it will enhance the photo.
RTTastic:as far as style....i don't think i adhere to a particular style. it varies day by day, or rather..image by image
Guy:Do you do any macro shots?

more conversation about photography...GOOD BOY! But really, i do this every day. I like photography, but there are much more interesting things to talk about....especially for you, i'm sure.


Later he asked about why I'm single and what kinds of guys I'm looking for. I really WANTED to say "someone much more interesting than you!" but I didn't. we continued talking, he told me about a 32 year old woman he dated, since he's 21, obviously trying to make it look like it would be "nothin" if he dated a 27 year old. But the whole time, I was bored to TEARS!! i'd rather watch paint dry.


But this is what I'm talking about. I had to go through an HOUR of bull crap to find out that i'm STILL BORED.

_________________
Hobbit says that I should tell you I'm female.....so.....

HI!!! I'm a Girl!

Gitarist....I'm sure he's a great guy, and I really don't care if he's a millionaire. I'm still bored. Hell, the first guy was a doctor, so he probably is loaded.

Though, i'm still not convinced, even, that the first guy's profile was even real.

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Hobbit says that I should tell you I'm female.....so.....

HI!!! I'm a Girl!

whos fault is it that the conversation continued for that hour? Your on these boards, but yet you still want the man to take charge, even tho you know that most of the are going to be an AFC.

i almost feel bad for the man, having the conversation go on this long and him thinking hes getting somewhere.

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"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one."

lol... I'm on PoF and I get a lot of stupid messages too... I can't put up with it!

You know, the subject is: "hi" and the message is "how r u?"

DELETED!!

This one girl, I give her credit for trying, but I was so confused about what to say... Here it is:
If you say yes you sound like a social retard... if you say no you hit her for not being social in the real world. It's like, what was the point of saying this? This conversation is doomed!! Dooooomed!! So I hit her back with this:

"Yes!! Especially if you like stalkers! I love my stalkers so much! They will buy you stuff and leave it at your door! Isn't that sweet?"

lol! I try to be entertaining...

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"A man is but the product of his thoughts, what he thinks, he becomes." - Mohandas Gandhi