Hi. I'm new to the PUA community, so not so many weeks ago I was the AFC that we have all been some time in the past So I'll start off with some background information.

A couple of months ago I met this HB9 that was in a relationship at the time, but seemed intrested. I met her a couple of times and at our third meeting she told me she just broke up with her BF. As the AFC i was I was this super-nice guy who invited to dinners, long talks, was clingy and needy.
Even with my AFC-skills I managed to kiss-close on our 4th meeting, and f-close on our 6th meeting. (but hey, even a blind mouse can find the occational cheese) We continued meeting up the next month, and every evening ended up with sex. I thought I was the luckiest guy alive, so I did everything I could not to lose her. Payed for everything, acting needy, and the big deal-breaker: I told her how I felt about her.
Since then things have been going kind of up and down. She's been acting not intrested, and kind off annoyed by me.
I still had theese feelings for her, so I decided to find out what makes guys attractive to girls, and stumbled upon the PUA community. I've read The Game, numerous David DeAngelo-books, online books, and a lot of forums. And yesterday I tried out my first online-game with tthe same HB9.

So here goes. (everything written in bold is my comment to why I wrote what I wrote)
Oh, and I live in Europe, so text-messaging is more common than actual calls. (yeah, I know.. how stupid is that? :p ) And the conversation was going on in my own language, so this is the translated version.

Facebook chat:
Me: Hey HB9. Quick question. I'm on my way out.. **False time-constraint**

HB9: yep

Me: I'm trying to plan next week. Wanna meet up this monday? **Yeah, I know, a little AFC**

HB9: Bah, I can't this monday. Got this project at school that I need to deliver on tuesday, so I'm working with my group all night.. yuck!

Me: ok btw, it looks like you got a little less flexible calender than me. Why don't you find days that works for you, and you ask me if I can make it in stead? I'm tired of asking and getting no all the time ;P

HB9: haha, of course

Me: But gotta run. Text me.
**And then I went offline right after sending the last message, so I was the one finishing the conversation**

Half an hour later, I got a text from HB9 on my cell.

Her: How about tuesday or wednesday?

Me: Hmm.. I got some work-things happening one or both of those days.. I'll check my calender when I'm back home and I'll answer you tonight.

Her: Ok, but we'll figure something out.

Me: Yep. We'll do that. Long time since we hooked up now. But I'll text you later, we'll figure it out. **Again being the one ending the conversation, and no smilys to act busy**

Two hours later I texted her:
me: Hey friend! Just checked my calender.. And if I work a little on monday I can make it happen on tuesday. But on one condition! You have to give me a great big hug when I see you! **Calling her friend to create the why-don't-he-like-me-syndrome, and making her jump through my hoop before I commit to tuesday and jumping through hers**

Her: Yep, tuesday it is! Or we can take it some other day, if you have to stress at work to make it happen.. And of course you're getting a hug

Me: Nah, no plans yet on Monday, so I'll do some work then. And we can't take it some other day, cause I've been hungering for this great steak dinner for weeks :p And the new episodes of Dexter! You havent been watching them behind my back, have you? ;P **We have been talking earlier about a steak dinner and Dexter-episodes the next time we hook up**

Her: No, I would never do that! You know I can't watch Dexter unless I'm with you!

Me: You obviously know what's best for you! Cause if you had seen the new episodes without me, you would be up for a beating! ;P But I'm hitting the shower and heading for bed. (it still smells like massage-oil from last time ) **intern joke** Got this party I have to be ready for tomorrow, so I need my beautysleep. Good night, and sleep tight, HB9. **Again being the one ending the conversation, and as a little DHV, telling her I got this party tomorrow**

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So there it is. As this was my first online/text-game so I bet it isnt as good as it should be
Where can I improve, and did I do something wrong?

oh, and I'm good in handling critique, so be harsh and point out every little mistake you can find.

I'm not an expert at the game, but i can say it is definitely better than the material I use. Good job!

Thank you

Anyone else got some critique on my text-game? Every feedback helps

Have been running some text-game and phone-game on her since Thursday, and I've gotten a lot of IOI's from her for the first time in weeks.
So tomorrow's the big day, and I'll tell you guys how it went on wednesday. Time to run the IRL-game