| Your phone conversation might go a little something like
this...
YOU: "Let's meet for coffee"
HER: "Sure, sounds great"
YOU": "See you at 8pm."
HER: "Great, see you then."
You hang up feeling elated at having confirmed a date with
this gorgeous, fascinating woman. You will take her out for
coffee, hoping the conversation will be terrific. You hope
this leads to a solid connection and the ever-challenging,
second date.
Why are you already behind the 8-ball? Why are you already
backed into the corner?
Why are you following the rules, "hoping" for good luck
rather than being bold & spontaneous, increasing the
chances of having an awesome time?
Taking a girl for coffee is a nice thing to do. Any decent,
intelligent girl would think nice thoughts about you.
But, how far has "nice" gotten you in the past?
Ask yourself this question:
"Why do I play by the rules? Why don't I use my imagination,
and God-given creative instincts, to create an interesting
evening?"
If you answered correctly, you said:
"Because I haven't a clue how to do that!"
Precisely...
This is intended to give you, on a silver platter no
less, this very clue. Here is the "Lucky 7" list:
1) Break the rules. Why just take her to coffee, when,
if you use your imagination, virtually anything becomes a
possibility. Think of the date as being a way to present
yourself to her. Want her to think you are ordinary,
uncreative and possibly boring? Or, would you rather her
see you as someone exciting and original? You decide.\
2) Dress Casual-Cool. Don't make the first date
super-formal. make the event
relaxed and fun, and dress slightly above the SPAM.
So, if you take her to the downtown music scene, for
example, wear a smooth blazer with a t-shirt, and some
casual slacks. You set yourself apart from the crowd,
and look a bit cooler than the rest of the t-shirts and
jeans in your midst.
3) Don't Wait for the Kiss. Most guys wait for the end of
the evening to kiss her. In fact, most women expect this
awkward moment. Instead, maybe an hour or so into the
date, create an opportunity to kiss her. Structure a
romantic moment like a stroll along the river, or a
relaxing tea on a park bench. Then, slow everything down,
gently tease her hair while you chat, and go for
the kiss. She will be impressed with your spontaneity,
and will feel grateful not to dread any uncomfortable
moments at the end of the night. In fact, a kiss then
will be automatic.
4) Bring Her into Your World. Most guys see a first date as
time to "impress her" or "make her like me". Blah!
Instead, why not approach it as time to "show her who I
am and what I am about" as well as an opportunity to
"see if we connect". Why should you have to impress her?
In fact, your attempts at impressing her will likely make
her uncomfortable. Social intelligence indicates that a
first date is an "information gathering" session - no
more, no less.
5) Breath Control. Usually guys have great breath as the
date begins. But, as the date goes on, their mouths
dry-up, which can lead to sour breath. On a first date,
a kiss is unlikely at the very beginning, right? So, be
sure your breath is solid throughout the night by both
drinking plenty of water, and by bringing mints or
another breath control device. Breath strips are great
for example. At a point in the evening, excuse yourself
and head to the men's room. Check your grooming, but also
be sure to drop a mint or two, so you are ready and able
when the moment arrives...
6) Go Easy Hotshot. Don't make the rookie mistake of acting
like a horny teenager in the throes of puberty; stay
cool. No groping allowed, period. Ease into physical
contact and anything sexual by setting the stage for it.
Once she responds positively to your subtle advances and
gives you a window of opportunity, make your move.
Nothing too fast, too soon. She must trust you and be
comfortable with you first before anything can happen.
It's your job to get this done.
And last...
7) Be Prepared. Have cash for cabs and a back-up plan in
case the place you go to doesn't work out for any reason
(closed, booked, boring). The back-up could be what your
friends are doing that night. Find out from them before
you head out. Also, have your place clean and bed made
if you decide to invite her over to "watch a movie." Oh,
and have a movie, and some protection (read: CONDOM)
nearby...just in case.
|
CHAT