Quote:
Online dating can be scary for a woman.
I just wanted to back up what j50wells said here. I'll give a basic summary of what happened tonight.
From POF, I find a very hot girl, we get to talking back and forth, and I get her number. I tell her things like "I don't have time for people who are not interested in me," and "I'm a busy man." I tell her I am going to go eat, and I'd like her to join me. Over an hour later she says "Oh sorry I was busy earlier, just got your text". To which I say "Well I'm done eating. I was thinking about having a drink later, you're welcome to join me".I get her to the point where we are setting up a date. I set it up, I tell her we're going to go out and have that drink. She tells me she needs to shower, do her hair, makeup, etc.
Three hours goes by. I text her "It's been three hours. How's that hair and makeup coming along?" She calls me, she's nice and personable on the phone, immediately eager to talk like a normal human being (this is good because even though I'm still an AFC, my phone game has always been On Fucking Point; I can talk to women on the phone like no one's business, I'll keep them on the hook for 4 hours straight without even blinking). Now being that this is my first online encounter, I didn't think of the EXTRA COMFORT these girls need when meeting.
So, I say these words almost exactly, to my detriment: "Alright, well I'm about to leave since it's icy outside. What's your address I'll come to pick you up." She says "Well. . . . .. . . . .. . . I was thinking I was going to drive myself." To which I say "Oh. . . Well yeah, if that's what you want to do." CLICK
I think her phone fucked up. I text her asking what the deal is. 45 minutes later she says her phone died. Finally I get pissed off an lambast her, basically telling her I don't have time for little girls games, and sorry she missed out on a date with a real man (I said these things based on her profile in POF; things I know she wants). At the end of this text, after lambasting her, I said "Oh, and by the way, I liked your accent on the phone, I thought it was endearing" (which is true). I was thinking that at the very least, this seed would send her head spinning later. This is important to note, I think.
Five hours later, I'm driving home, I figured fuck it, I'll see if I can get her on the hook again, what do I have to lose? Nothing! The following is the text:
Me: You up?
Girl: Yeah
Me: So i was thinking of why you stood me up earlier. The best I could figure is I somehow made you uncomfortable, maybe cause I asked if I should pick you up I dont know. So I have an idea. How about you call me, let's talk on the phone a bit, and maybe in a few days when we're not busy we can meet somewhere.
Her: Ok can I finish my bath lol
Me: Yeah you can finish your bath. Ill be up for a little while longer but not all night. Gotta work tomorrow.
Me: I think its funny your taking a bath though. No one takes baths anymore, even though theyre relaxing as hell. Especially when its freezing out like right now
Her: Bubbles and scented candles, muy thinking time.
After this she calls me. I phone game her for 3 hours straight, which I do not see as work. I love to talk. I love to talk to women who are open to talking. She tells me everything about herself. At about minute 2 I say "So, I have to ask you about standing me up." She is embarrassed, I assure her "Oh man I didn't mean to put you on the spot! No judgement here, for real". She then tells me that she went chicken shit because she doesnt know me, and didnt want me to pick her up. I then went over the scenario of me being a big fat hairy creepy guy dragging her out to the field with a shovel, and made the whole thing a hilarious macabre joke.
At hour two, she's saying things like: I NEVER talk on the phone this long. I can't believe I've talked to you this long. This is amazing. You are so interesting.
I now have this girl on the hook to go on any date at any reasonable time, I am dead certain she will not flake again, at all, ever. It's not even an option for her at this time, I'll be on her mind for a while. I was too interesting for her.
She felt horrible she stood me up. I told her "I got all dolled up for this date." She thought that phrase was hilarious, then sent me the selfie she took of herself all dolled up before she flaked on me. I told her it was "adorable."
I want to do a write up for phone game. All I can say for phone game, which I do think I am exceptionally good at, is to just ramble and ramble and ramble. It's so easy to drag shit out of girls on the phone and then use that.
I also brought up things that OTHER guys do. I started with "I'll bet you get a lot of creepy fucks messaging you. Isn't that just SO disheartening and insulting?" We talk about this for a bit, then she mentions how all these guys want to do is fuck her. I say "Yeah I'll bet. I'll also bet they can't shut up about your pictures." She agrees and tells me all about the compliments she gets, and how it's annoying. I then say "You haven't heard me call you hot even once." She's silent for a minute, then her mind is blown the fuck away. She can't believe she didn't notice it before, she loves that I didn't compliment her. I then tell her "yeah I really like talking to you, you have awesome conversation skills." She then tells me how she's never been complimented on being a nice person to talk to. She thanks me. I then throw her a bone (a line I got off this forum, from a guy, actually). I say "You know what? Here, this is the best I can do for you. I think we're BOTH cute. How's that?" She says "YES! I love that, I'll take that. Good job!"
She's eating out of my hands guys. I am confident I will get the two things I want:
1: My first post-divorce F-Close
2: A girl I already have amazing communication with, so I can have a girl to have a serious intimate conversation with before and after the F-Close. This is something I need for F-Closes. I'm a sucker for pillow talk.
Anyway, that was long winded. The basic story here is that they need to be so comfortable, it's ridiculous.
Also, one last thing. You mentioned her "Cute pics btw." Just don't do this dude. I haven't been doing this long, but I've noticed something:
They don't want to hear about what you think of their pictures. They want to hear about what you think of their About Me, and them. Their pictures don't exist. Something to remember is this: How many girls have you talked to on there, where you see a lot of interest, but you haven't seen a "viewed me" notification from her? Sometimes they don't even bother looking at your profile, they just want to have a conversation. They won't mention your pictures either.