Hey guys,
Apologies in advance for the essay
Too long;didn't read
- Having some success with game online, especially the cube routine.
- However, finding it difficult to maintain convo after using the routine stackers.
- Also finding success with opinion openers is limited as they seem to go nowhere whatsoever.
- However using an opener like "hello, please may I get your opinion on something", or "hello, are you familiar with the cube" generate more response than a simple "hi, how are you?" Even better are observational openers where you find something on the girl's profile to talk about.
I've been using a lot of game lately for online chat. To be honest, I have to say I'm quite surprised with some of the results - certain lines and routines have been way more effective than I could have imagined. And I haven't got any dates but I didn't really want to either, I just wanted to experiment to see what works and what doesn't with the hope of putting this into practice in real life. I've also had some negative results though, with most girls seeing through most of the gimmicks, lies and bullshit after a fashion, it has to be said.
What I've found game most useful for is getting a response in the first place, ideally when you look at someone's profile you want to have good material to open them with, ideally something from their profile that stands out about them ('a situational/observational opener'). A simple, 'hi', 'how are you' is rarely enough - that much I've learned - and comments that are at all sexually suggestive are usually disregarded, unless you happen to be talking to a kinkster of sorts! In fact, I just got a reply from a dominatrix that was not quite what I was expecting!
Well, anyway, I find that it's quite hard to use an observational opener in most situations that's worthwhile, I mean you really do have to look for something interesting and that's assuming that the girl's got a lot written in her profile in the first place! So instead, what I normally use are opinion openers and invitations to play the cube. Sometimes I just say, "hey can I get your opinion on something" and sometimes I actually elaborate in the first message what it is I'm looking for an opinion on, e.g. infidelity, long-distance relationships. Sometimes it's celebrities, whatever it is I think I can use the most effectively. As for the cube, I just ask, "hey do you want to hear something called the cube" and they normally think it's the gameshow I'm talking about, so I often put in brackets, "not the gameshow!".
So the cube is the one I've had the most success with. I'm a good writer, and I've had a lot of positive feedback for my descriptive ability. At least two women told me they have very selective filters and that they would not have even bothered replying if it hadn't been for my original opener. One woman said that I had piqued her curiosity with the cube, so I tried something I learned from Style about 'real beauty'. I can't remember what it is exactly but you tell her that real (inner) beauty comes from inside and ask her to tell you what it is about HER that makes her stand out from the crowd. Well, she didn't respond after that but a few others did. To be honest, I usually had difficulty keeping the convo going once I'd finished with the cube though, which is annoying because I know I can't just rely 100% on scripted routines and stuff, so this indicates to me that my natural game is something that needs working on.
I used a few relationship openers, most of them related to relationships. While the interest was there from the beginning, I wasn't able to develop the same rapport as the cube provided for me. I think part of me just feels uncomfortable with relationship openers because they are just asking advice about shallow, meaningless affairs. For example if you go
here, it's all just cringe worthy Jeremy Kyle-esque crap like what to do with a guy slobbing around the house while his girlfriend cleans, if a girl should get back with a guy that cheats, etc. And they all have really intuitive obvious answers that is almost impossible to argue with. For example, let me give you an example of a question and response I got:
Quote:
Hey, a female friend of mine is dating someone else that I happen to know. Now usually, when a girl (taken) kisses a strange guy in a bar we think of that as an infidelity of sorts...or at least we will think it's dishonest. Well this girl I know never does that but what she does to is that sometimes when we go clubbing together she hits on another girl. Now she's always telling me 'don't say anything to Mike, he'll freak out, blah, blah' and to be honest I hate to be the one to get involved in situations like that, so naturally I don't mention it. But I know for a fact that when this guy gets wind of it, he's NOT freaking out, but he's not happy about it either. What do you think? I mean, it's a tough one...
Quote:
Wow, there is a situation. If she is your friend and he isn't, do as she asks. Your loyalty to her should be exemplified by how you trust her to do the right thing in her relationship. If she sees nothing in hitting on other girls and is still in love with her partner then so be it. There could be more to it than what is presented to you.
If he isn't your friend and she is, and if she was to tell him, support her in doing that too.
If he is your friend, politely and whilst sober, ask her if everything is okay and open yourself up to be a listener. If she still shrugs it off, and you are closer to him, maybe suggest to him that he should have a chat with her about their relationship, subtly.
Hope that helps!
This is probably the best opinion opener I've figured out so far because for one thing, I've managed to incorporate some DHV - I have a female friend asking ME for advice, hence conveying high social status. In another one, I said that I busked with Mike, hence creating a DHV story for me as a musician, as well as opening a possible subject starter for discussion about music. I'm also asking an open ended question, specifically about whether or not a girl kissing another girl is cheating. And as you can see I've managed to elicit a response, probably the longest and best response so far to any opinion opener I've tried in online dating.
BUT, I wasn't able to elicit any further interaction from this because her answer pretty much nails the hammer on the head: in the above situation, it's NOT my place to intervene and say anything, except for in quite a limited context (e.g. the guy we're talking about is my bestest buddy in the whole world - or at least a closer friend than she is). I can't really do much else except to assertively tell her to stop putting me in such an awkward position. Also, it's kind of hard to debate whether or not kissing another girl is infidelity if the guy doesn't like it...so it's not really an open ended question.
This opinion opener was probably one of the more believable ones - that and a long-distance relationship opener that was actually based on a real person I know (I feel guilty
). One of the less believable ones was a guy with three girlfriends on the go. I got pretty generic one liner answers to this particular opener, so I'm either gonna have to get pretty creative with it or else just drop it all together.
One of the negative aspects of being a good writer is I just find I want to talk and talk and talk (or rather write and write and write) and end up sending much longer messages than the girl, in spite of efforts to restrain myself - analysing things from this perspective then another and another, etc., etc.! For the cube, you've got me dropping so many metaphors and similes, I think way outside the box and create my own analyses/cold readings that aren't even scripted for the original cube routine. Again this is good by itself, but it's got me producing a much vaster quantity than anything the girl can think of, something that reeks of desperation!
I've also been a bit of a not-very-nice-person and tried out experiments that I knew were unlikely to succeed on girls I wasn't that interested in. That and I've been chatting girls up just for a laugh, not really taking anything serious, dropping subtle negs and stuff just to see what happens in certain contexts. I'd be lying if I said that I haven't been told to "go fall off a bridge", but somehow I doubt that's going to shock anyone round here, somehow.
Finally, my last concern is nervousness about whether or not I would actually be able to apply any of this stuff in real life. I mean you're in a relatively safe place going up to strangers online asking for opinions on strange topics and asking them to play weird games that they've never heard before and on the surface appear to be psychological manipulation (and in fact ARE psychological manipulation!). Then of course there's that old problem that in real life, nothing is scripted - I don't have time to walk off with a pen and paper to think of my next response, I've got to think on my toes!
Well anyways, let me know if you've got any suggestions, in fact let me know if you want any more detail as per my techniques (although I am certainly not claiming to be a master at this, no way)! I might post up some more quoted convo, if I think it won't risk my anonymity or the girl in question's anonymity (I mean it's all pretty safe to write down here - RIGHT?!?).
CHAT