I met a girl online. She is really "tough" in away and seems a smart choice for what it comes to her intellectual side if I think of a relationship. We haven't met yet but we have called 3-4 nights and talked till the morning hours. She is really responsive, but I have been _always_ the one who has made the initiative to communicate. It bothers me, so now I haven't done nothing in 2 days. This doesn't bother me like I would be needy towards her, but I was wondering is there a type of girls who doesn't make initiatives at start? How to recognize this if so? How long should I wait and how to recognize how long to wait? Was it a mistake not to suggest meeting from the very start and why if so?

I am not an expert but I would meet her and f/kiss close. This talking till morning hours every day is something she would do with her good friends. You probably don't wanna be friend zoned.

right away you should respond to her because that is you rewarding her for good behavior-
the guy is usually going to be the one that messages first but if she does first that's bonus points-
definitely try and figure out what to do right away so that way things dont lead to nowhere, ya know ?

does this help?

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You may not have built enough attraction.

Don't ask someone to meet before you know if they're into you.

Get a number, take it from there. Text, call - THEN suggest to meet (on the phone, not via text).

With this one, you may as well try again, or call her if you have the number... nothing to lose.

But how can he tell if enough attraction is built, before actually meeting her. Just based on how much they already talked there might be some attraction there, don't you think.

Contact her once a week, always make sure she's doing at least 70-80% of the texting/calling/pursuing. She'll start wondering why you're not chasing like other guys do - it's a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear.

Stop asking yourself "How can I get her to date me" as if you need to EARN it. Start asking yourself "How sure am I that she's my type? Should I date her? Should I let her come on a date?"

You get the idea.

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I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.

In fact I took action before reading your advices. Thanks for them btw. Especially the tip that I should not use txt message to ask girl out. So true. It’s much harder to decline on the phone. Also to reward a good behavior is good.

I asked her to meet me next weekend (txt messaged, mistake, I know now) and she replied that she is going to a festival with her friend. I texted her back that I don’t know if we’re moving on and that relationship’s don’t work from my side the way that I am the one that only contact’s to people. I led her to understand that I am kicking her out if it doesn’t change, but subtly. She said that she hasn’t done that even when she has been in relationships and is a little pessimistic about our living distance. Well.. later that evening she called and the day next she texted me, first. So she did something that she hasn’t done even with her boyfriends. A good sign I think? Never the less, I think she is smart and knows how to come towards in relationships. This is probably the main reason I am interested because I am “seeking” a mature woman.

The attraction started from her side. She commented on my profile publicly that if I ever would start traveling I should start there where she lives. She wants to get to know well before starting a relationship. She has a child.

I know that when I get to this phase it is just a matter of time that woman fall in love with me. I have definitely been myself the whole time. Not a pleaser. It is easy because she aren’t either. The problem still probably comes when it comes to showing feelings. She doesn’t use words of affirmation. Probably the main love languages for her is quality time and acts of service (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Five_Love_Languages). One of my main love languages is words of affirmation, so this is a conflict. Any tips for this? We have already discussed about the subject. Romantic word’s makes her feel sick.

Any tips that arise from what I wrote?

Just a bonus information here: We match perfectly via Helen Fishers theory about suitable partners. She is a “director”, I am a “negotiator”. Our MBTI- type also matches. I am INFJ and she is ENFP, one of the ideal. Her enneagram is type 8 and I am 6 – this doesn’t tell much, but these are one of the most common pairs to become in relationship. Her chinese horoscope is dragon and I am a rat, the year makes us the perfect match (she says), my horoscope is pisces and so is hers, water types comes along well and pisces are passionate together (this is also somewhat important to her, I rely more on science even when I also like nonsense ).

Did you pay no attention to anything that I said? You're FAR too focused on how you can get this girl into a relationship. Again, like you need to win her or something.

Hang out, have fun, hook up. Let the rest happen naturally. It's feminine to be focusing on a relationship. Are you female? Does she want a female? Let her bring that stuff up in her own time, ok? Trust me on that one.

She's giving you definite IOI's, but you could blow this if you don't stop being so serious and focusing on locking her down to commitments.

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I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.

You are right. I've been thinking too much lately about what I want from relationship so my focus has been too much in there. It is good to know, but not so good to cling on the fantasy of it.

If shes into you... all you really have to do is contact her once a week to arrange a definite date. Hang out, have fun, hook up. She'll d 70-80% of the texting/calling, she'll bring up relationships when shes ready (usually she'll ask "where is this going?" to which you reply "what do you mean?" and she'll usually tell you exactly what she meant.)

Girls help you when they like you. Let her come to you at her own speed, until you're exclusive, date other women.

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I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.

2nd that.

Also, just know you have options make your interactions way better naturally. You don't come across so needy.

GOOD LUCK