10 dates, not a single 2nd date. Sport daters



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PostPosted: Sat Nov 09, 2013 12:14 am 
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Hi guys

I'm wondering if this happens to anyone else. I'm going on quite a few dates on POF and I seem to be stumbling on all the sport daters as most of them don't answer my texts at all after the 1st date. Others will maybe answer one or two but will eventually fade into darkness.

Here's my date guidelines and I'm moving within those pretty much every time

-Getting to know each other, I tell my story and hear theirs
-Going for the kiss close to 1 hour in the date. This usually varies with the girls reaction. I'm always moving slowly as if she's winning me over and I'm very smooth at choosing my first kiss moment. I've almost never been denied the kiss
-I look to find out about her and make her invest, have her talk a lot about herself and connect
-I have a good sense of humour which I'm obviously squeezing fully at every date. Every girl laughs and giggles all night at my dates.

Yet as much as I'm led to believe that these are the components for a great 1st date I can't get a 2nd one to save my life. Some of them agree on the first date that they want to come to mine next time to try my cooking skills full of enthusiasm and eagerness. How much they love my sense of humour and that they find me really good looking are compliments I'm happy to hear quite often. But when afterwards texting comes into play, boom! Flake!

I have a good profile of both pics and about me sections. Suffice it to say it's good since I'm pulling a lot and it's quite congruent with my personality. I thought online dating would be more relationship oriented. Does this happen to you guys as well and does anyone have any advice as I'm really tired. I'm thinking I'm probably doing something wrong as I've met so many pretty girls for all of them to disappear and I'm so frustrated and I have lost patience

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 09, 2013 2:41 am 
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Obviously, there is a problem.

In my early days, I came across the same thing. Like you, I was bewildered by the results I was getting. The first girl I pulled from online that was gf material told me one night, "I thought you'd be confident, like you were texting and in your profile.".

That really helped me figure out where I was going wrong between dating, texting and my online profile. It took a while, and I finally worked out of that slump. I think my biggest problem was my texting skills and profile building skills exceeded my IRL game.

I really worked on my overall game in general. I did that by studying and going out on as many dates as I could to learn and use what I was reading on the forums. Seriously, I had days when I went out on two dates, one right after the other. I also kept a little journal of what worked and what did not.

I think you just have gotten to the point where your online game is a bit sharper than your game in the field. Once I finally managed to get laid from an online date, things worked themselves out pretty quickly, and went up hill from there.

I'm guess you are devoting most of your time to online gaming. There is nothing wrong with that. However, the best way to look at it is like this: when a woman wants to meet in real life, that's a clue she's either interested in getting to know you or fucking you. When the two of you meet up in real life, she makes her final decision about what she is going to do.

Just keep at it. Go on as many dates as you can. Once you get over the initial hurdle it dies get easier....

Good luck.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 09, 2013 4:36 am 
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The biggest thing that leads to not getting a second date out of an online date is not kissing on the date. Any girl has hundreds of guys to choose from on a dating website, so you don't want to waste time when you are together.

Persistence usually works if you're not getting a response from an online date, as does being clear about your intentions from the get-go. But if you have to be persistent, it's probably not worth it.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 09, 2013 8:40 am 
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Thank you guys

Unfortunately it doesn't seem to be congruency either. It's true I do online more than I do field game (I do both though) but they actually notice how congruent my behaviour is with my profile.

Usually the date is good to the end. I will do as you suggest though and keep at it. When a girl stops replying to me all together I'm going to start asking for feedback. Something along the lines "It's fine if you don't want set another meet up can I ask what do you think tipped you off though? Would be great help for my next date"

That being said how do you go about your texting game after the 1st date? I usually tell them to text me when they get home and if conversation goes from there I keep it over the next few dates. Otherwise I just text after 2-3 days (hoping she might text in between but that rarely happens) and as soon as she replies suggest another meet up. More often than not they don't reply at all at this point though.

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 09, 2013 1:32 pm 
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Quote:
Thank you guys

Unfortunately it doesn't seem to be congruency either. It's true I do online more than I do field game (I do both though) but they actually notice how congruent my behaviour is with my profile.

Usually the date is good to the end. I will do as you suggest though and keep at it. When a girl stops replying to me all together I'm going to start asking for feedback. Something along the lines "It's fine if you don't want set another meet up can I ask what do you think tipped you off though? Would be great help for my next date"

That being said how do you go about your texting game after the 1st date? I usually tell them to text me when they get home and if conversation goes from there I keep it over the next few dates. Otherwise I just text after 2-3 days (hoping she might text in between but that rarely happens) and as soon as she replies suggest another meet up. More often than not they don't reply at all at this point though.
The dates are not going well. You are not getting a second date. Women will be nice for the most part. At the end of a date, when a woman says, "I had a great time.". 9-10 times, she means you were nice and pleasant. If the dates went well, they'd be coming back for more or staying the night.

Asking them? I've never tried that. But the problem is pretty simple: you're not flipping attraction switches.

You go for the kiss on every date? Go for the lay! Assume you are gonna get laid on every date. Dress, clean your place up like you expect she will coming in, sleeping in your bed, and using your bathroom after you have sex with her. Put yourself in a situation where that could happen.

Texting after the date? This varies from girl to girl and date to date. If it turns out to be a non-sex date, I'll usually just say, "give me a text so I can be sure you made it home all right".

Then when she texts, reply with, "ok. I've got to get to bed (or somewhere else). I had a really great time.". Then end with some c/f banter about the date, and say good night.

I'll usually then wait for her to reply the next day. 9/10 times if they are interested in a guy they'll initiate text within 24 hrs (usually sooner. I've found it most common when they get home from work the next day). When she does initiate text within the 24hrs, don't try to DHV like you forgot about her though. I'll usually say, "hey! I've been so busy. I've been meaning to text you all day. How you been doing?". Not in those exact words, but something along those lines.

Keep at it! This is just another hurdle to overcome....


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 09, 2013 1:46 pm 
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Quote:
You go for the kiss on every date? Go for the lay! Assume you are gonna get laid on every date. Dress, clean your place up like you expect she will coming in, sleeping in your bed, and using your bathroom after you have sex with her. Put yourself in a situation where that could happen.

Texting after the date? This varies from girl to girl and date to date. If it turns out to be a non-sex date, I'll usually just say, "give me a text so I can be sure you made it home all right".
This is actually exactly what I'm doing. Going for the lay based on this recipe
http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-8681.html

I also say "send me a text when you get home" and by the way they don't always do so. Anyway I'm doing a bit of recalibrating here and there. I recently went on another date and we texted a bit after she went home but didn't hear from her since. My plan is to text her again three days after the date of the day since she didn't reply my 2nd message. Although judging by the fact that I haven't heard from her yet I'm not keeping my hopes too high

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 09, 2013 4:57 pm 
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The biggest problem with that guide is lack of clarity of intentions. If you don't kiss a girl at the venue and she is confused about your intentions, she may be more likely to come back to your place (I doubt it), but she will be creeped out when you finally do kiss her. It's better to be completely crystal-clear about your intentions but non-pushy (or at least pushy in a socially-savvy way - for example, you can blow through bitch shields, but again, make sure she's worth it before you do that).

The best time to go for the kiss is immediately. Another good time is when you are snuggling somewhere comfortable.

I'd also suggest re-thinking their recommendations on alcohol. I usually leave it out unless the girl wants to bring it into the mix. Sometimes it is useful for bonding or getting a girl to open up and talk about herself, but there needs to be a definite disconnect in the girl's mind between alcohol and anything sexual with you (unless she is an alcoholic, in which case I'd say steer clear).

Oh, and another thing that is helpful for getting a second date is to go to multiple venues on the first. That and being sure to get a first date kiss pretty much guarantee a second date.

Also, if you have sex with a girl, if you want another date, you should sleep with her, get her breakfast, and call her the next day.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 09, 2013 5:32 pm 
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Oh I was afraid we would start getting different opinions

This guide has a actually worked for me a couple of times. Usually I set the date close to my venue and invite them for a glass of wine from my home country which is rumoured to be good. If that doesn't work out I don't insist I just take her to another venue and kiss close on the way. I usually calibrate for the kiss see when she's ready and in my proximity. I rarely go wrong on this one. Evidently a kiss doesn't really mean a 2nd date

In all honesty guys I'm not so keen on getting first date bangs as much as having an impact and having the girl wanting to see me again. Just that the consensus seems to be that the first date bang makes her much more likely to see you again anyway.

A couple of less attractive girls I've dated have expressed interest to see me again so maybe that could be a hint that i'm just too keen for the girls i really like.

Since i'm lucky enough to be pulling often I'll try other options and keep calibrating. Until then other opinions are most welcome. Just lately I went out with three girls I really liked and noone expressed interest in seeing me again.

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 10, 2013 7:20 am 
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Wine? Try asking them to your place to drink whiskey, play Twister and watch American Pie II. Also, buy a huge box of condoms, a rose, and a 1 lb bag of M&Ms at a convenience store early on in the date.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 11, 2013 2:24 am 
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Getting laid on internet dates is fucking easy as long as you realize it is. Girls are there to fuck. The internet gives girls a chance to be a slut and completely get away with it. Every girl you meet is meeting you to FUCK.

Once I realized this my success rate skyrocketed. Of the last 15 odd internet dates I've had I f-closed em all same day except one and the one i didnt initiated the kiss and was rubbing my cock but logistics sucked.

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 11, 2013 2:33 am 
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And you say not interested in first day bangs? Like others have said shooting yourself in the foot.

Banging her on the first date doesn't make it more likely she'll see you again, it makes it MUCH MUCH MUCH more likely she'll see you again.

Even if you get her revved up bla bla that fades over the next few days and you lose momentum. Even if the first date gies really well and you k-close etc still pretty good chance that she'll go back to her regular life and forget about you. There's exceptions but don't count on it.

Fuck them and fuck them well they nearly always come back

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 9:02 am 
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' online dating would be more relationship oriented'

ohhhh man!
it is the basics! no meter if you like the girl, and she is an ltr material, it does not meter, sleep with her as fast as possible, then take it any direction that you like.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 3:54 pm 
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Quote:
Hi guys

I'm wondering if this happens to anyone else. I'm going on quite a few dates on POF and I seem to be stumbling on all the sport daters as most of them don't answer my texts at all after the 1st date. Others will maybe answer one or two but will eventually fade into darkness.

Here's my date guidelines and I'm moving within those pretty much every time

-Getting to know each other, I tell my story and hear theirs
-Going for the kiss close to 1 hour in the date. This usually varies with the girls reaction. I'm always moving slowly as if she's winning me over and I'm very smooth at choosing my first kiss moment. I've almost never been denied the kiss
-I look to find out about her and make her invest, have her talk a lot about herself and connect
-I have a good sense of humour which I'm obviously squeezing fully at every date. Every girl laughs and giggles all night at my dates.

Yet as much as I'm led to believe that these are the components for a great 1st date I can't get a 2nd one to save my life. Some of them agree on the first date that they want to come to mine next time to try my cooking skills full of enthusiasm and eagerness. How much they love my sense of humour and that they find me really good looking are compliments I'm happy to hear quite often. But when afterwards texting comes into play, boom! Flake!

I have a good profile of both pics and about me sections. Suffice it to say it's good since I'm pulling a lot and it's quite congruent with my personality. I thought online dating would be more relationship oriented. Does this happen to you guys as well and does anyone have any advice as I'm really tired. I'm thinking I'm probably doing something wrong as I've met so many pretty girls for all of them to disappear and I'm so frustrated and I have lost patience
Work on your dating game. Trust me, not all these girls are not down for a 2nd date because they are just using you for a date, that makes no sense. You just need to work on your dating skills, as right now, the vast majority, if not all of these girls are not seeing you again because they are not interested.

Have you tried to give them a date option that is not your place for a 2nd date? I write about this in detail in my e-book, but a lot of times if you want them to come to your place without flaking on a 2nd date you actually have to be LESS direct and more "AFC" style in how you ask.

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 4:11 pm 
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That is a good point actually...

Do you guys get 2nd dates often? I'm usually going for the bang on the 1st date but if she doesn't follow to my place usually invite her for cooking on the 2nd. I'll try a different approach next time if she's not DTF on the 1st date and go with what you suggest and go for a 2nd date out. It's funny how sometimes after kissing them they initiate the kissing themselves and then flake

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 5:17 pm 
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I think dating sites are more for instant lay. If you want gf material then check out facebook game (hint, my signature) :D

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