We have great chemistry, but she's becoming hard to read, and I feel like I'M the one putting forth most of the effort and investment.
It's that deal with the girl I met in the forum, we get along great and have pulled all-nighters talking for several hours (7+), and have even developed quite a bit of trust.
Here's some of the pluses:
She's insisted on wanting to help me with personal problems.
Quote:
"But I want to help"
"Sure thing, glad I could be of even a little help And my problems never really leave, so eventually I'll probably have something I want to talk about"
"I really don't mind helping, and it's not that I'm "glad" to hear your problems, because they're nothing to be glad about, but I am glad to try and help"
She's thanked me for being a positive influence in her life and helping her out in the past (some personal issues I assume, though I'm partially wondering exactly what she means).
She's shared a lot of personal and intimate things she says she wouldn't normally even tell people she knows irl. Stuff like her insecurites and so on...
In fact, our talks tend to get very intimate and personal at times, you know that emotional bonding and stuff, and recently, they've taken a turn for the more sexual. So that tension is there.
Also, as much as I hate reading between the lines, recently we played a game, where we analyzed songs, and she dropped this as her song analysis (on a song she picked mind you):
Quote:
"Yes, it tells the story of a meeting between the male and female, and how they became entranced with each other
And they couldnt really see clearly until they meet each other
As they become swept up in eachother, things become clearer between the two"
Which, kinda sounds like us, since I once told her that "talking to her gave me a lot of clarity."
Plus, she sometimes does stuff like that, where, if I tell her something, she'll subltly follow it up elsewhere. Like with this song, she made her forum avatar and tagline references to it. Or the otherday, I gave her a nickname, and she changes her SPAM avatar to reference it...
So I mean, a lot of signs point to her being into me. She's told me that out of the people she's met online (which have been quite a few in recent times), I'm the one she feels closest to. She's told me she thinks I'm interesting, and she's practically confirmed she only logs onto SPAM to talk to me...
Still, I feel like I'm the one putting forth the most effort here. I don't know why exactly, but it mostly stems from the fact that... I'm always doing the chasing here, and that bothers me, because despite all her 'hints' I don't feel any investment on her behalf. Perhaps it's cause of certain specific experiences I've had in the past, and the fact that since the bond is purely virtual it breeds a degree of insecurity. Perhaps, it's cause of that, that it becomes hard to assume that she's attracted, simply because there's so little to go off of... Idk.
Thus, I kinda wanna take a step back for a bit, and see what she does.
I wanna at least do it before pushing for an irl meeting (I should probably note right now that she lives 9 times zones away - I do plan on meeting her, and yeah, I'm very much into her, but it's quite the investment, so I wanna be clear we're on the same page before doing anything. Oh as for moving to her, that's not a problem for me, but it's yet to be seen, I mean, meeting and confirming the chemistry comes first...).
Anyway, thoughts?
CHAT