Been talking to a HB 10 on pof...

Keep in mind, I don't really sarge the online scene all that much, I originally started the account to practice text game. Figure nowadays it's an important skill.

I'm kinda new and I'm wondering if any experienced PUA's can check out my convo and maybe give me a little feedback.

I haven't really used any canned material for this, and it's going pretty well at the moment. 
Still think I could improve in a few areas though.

The first message is from her, commenting on my profile which you can check out here:
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=42823239

HB:
I don't know what to say, cooking with napalm sounds dangerous. haha?

ME:
It's not so bad, so long as it doesn't splash and get all over everything. It's cool, gives things this kinda gasoline and cupcakes flavor.
But I'm sure you know that already...
Xp

HB:
i personally like to flavor my napalm cupcakes with fresh orange zest. really gets in there and fucks shit up hahahah.

ME:
Damn! That's a good idea. Gotta try that next time...
You know, It's nice meeting someone who shares my love for fucking shit up.  Makes me think that I might not be so crazy. 
So I noticed that you mentioned liking sparkly sh-t.
Please tell me more.

HB:
hahah, im just a girl, thats all. i see how alot of girls try to talk about how other girls suck and all that to make themselves look better. aint nobody got time for that.

ME:
Well,
I'm glad that you're a girl... :p
So straight up, I don't usually do this, but judging by your profile, and this brief, yet seemingly insightful conversation...
 I'm convinced that I'd probably still like you if I were to meet you in person.
So long as you don't turn out to be a 50 year old dude in disguise. O_o
So how do you feel about meeting strangers from the Internet?

HB:
weirdly enough, considering I messaged you I guess it wouldnt make much send to not be down! haha

ME:
Can we text and/or talk?

(transitions to text, the next morning)

ME:
Hey, what's up?
This is Kevin.

(there's a long pause here, granted it was kind of early A.M. I thought it could use a little push though, here I used a text opener I saw on here, I don't remember who it is I should credit, it's all around pretty genius for such a simple line)

ME:
Knock Knock...

HB:
Please don't leave explosives on my porch

ME:
If that's happened to you recently, I'm sorry.

HB:
-Lol

-It's okay they were wrapped up in really nice flowers 

.... Haha I'm totally kidding. My sense of humor is a little offbeat. 

ME:

Lol, well as long as they were wrapped up nicely. Seems like such a waste of perfectly good flowers though. Seeing how they'd  eventually get torched and such.

-Offbeat?
How so?

( another long pause, I was attempting to have her validate herself in a way, have her explain her sense of humor. I realized this probably wasn't going to happen though and managed to come up with a save)

ME:
.....I thought you really wanted flowers and napalm...
So you're saying that this explosive contraption i've been working on isn't going to win you over? XC

HB:


-We'll see

-wrap it up nicely in some tulips.

-Tulips?
Ooh so you're one of those...
You know what they say about girls who like tulips right?

( I'm not sure about this line, I was attempting a subtle increase in sexual tension.)

HB:
No

ME: 
Me neither, I was hoping you knew.

HB:
(some other kind of flower) too
- they're really cute

ME:
I don't know what those are

HB :
Pic of the flowers

ME:
Nice

-I've seen those before, I think back home my mom had some around the house. I just never knew what they were called.
(this was supposed to be an attempt at building some comfort)

HB:
Where are you from?

ME:
(insert where I'm from here)

-I don't really miss it, it kinda became a ghost town over the past year or so. The new venue breeds new inspiration, and new faces. 

HB:
I like that way of thinking.

(here there's a period of fluff, some talk of where we've been and such. I try to DHV a little by mentioning that I've traveled quite a bit of the U.S... 

Eventually I ask her "what kind of artist she is"  based on what I read in her profile. She tells me she's a singer. I ask if she plays shows, and she says yes. I'm reading this as her attempting to DHV a little.)

ME:
Nice,
Can't lie, I'm a little impressed. "I sing" usually translate to "I sing karaoke at Applebee's sometimes" Xp

(here she sends me a bunch of pics of her on stage. I can't lie, at this point I he really intimidated, but I keep calm and continue on)

ME:
Well, I suppose that proves it then. I've met a rockstars through an online dating site...
That wasn't on my bucket list.
But it should have been...

(she asks me to send her a pic because she doesn't want to be creepy and save it off a dating site

I send two pics, one of my face and one which was an attempt at what I was hoping would play out like the classic "photo routine" The second is me with a friend who's in a stretcher and neck brace after a metal show)

HB: 
The second one... YES

ME:
Lol, yeah... That was a brutal show.
My friend in the neck brace slammed his head on the ground in a mosh while anthrax was playing.
He went into a daze for about 30 seconds and then just kept screaming "FUCK YEAH!" as security carried him to the Med. tent

(I send a picture of the ground which is a combination of dust and rocks... Labeled " this was the ground at "the show")

HB:
 amazing

(I read this as me getting a little too uppity with the story so I play it off)

ME:
I know right?
Look at the texture.
The way the Rocks gently caress the random bystander's high-tops...
And the shadows,
Don't get me started on the shadows.

- I dunno about you, by I think this is photographic gold.

HB:
Jesus
Worth a thousand words

(insert some fluff about going to shows and such

About this time I start working on my close)

ME:
How do you feel about smoky dive bars that tend to play way too much country?

HB:
Well, being a singer I try to stay out of smokey placed

I like dive bars though

But not country dive bars

Haha that's a weird vibe. Bunch of old bar flies (40+ white girl sloppy wasted old women)

Etc.

(what part of (insert state) do you live in?

(I tell her, and then my phone is at about 3%. so I mention my phone is about to die. She tells me to hit her up later.)

I'm thinking to open this back up I should Light a cupcake on fire an send her a picture of it.

The next day or so.

And shortly afterwards, mention that I'm going to the pub.

Lemme know what you guys think.

Thanks
-Captain

_________________
....

Your messages are too long in relation to hers. Also, you should seek to transition from the fire stuff (Might be getting a bit overplayed) to comfort building. Try to set up a meeting when you can too, unless you want to be her text whore. I'm ambivalent about transitioning to sexual talk at this point because it doesn't seem like there's enough complicity between you two. I would focus on creating that "us vs the world" conspiracy for now.

Just a few points off the top of my head.

Based on the flow of conversation you've posted so far, I'd agree with Irish' on most points. Where I'd differ slightly is that I'd go with your initial idea about the cupcake on fire but rather than lighting it, how about doing a really crap Photoshop/MS Paint job on a pic of a cupcake covered in badly drawn flames and tulips?

She's a singer/musician so she'll likely appreciate the creativity involved, and her offbeat humour suggests to me that something along those lines would be enough to get her laughing. Reconnecting back into a previous topic of discussion, demonstrating a sense of humour and creativity, invoking positive emotions in her and linking them back to you; you can drop a whole emotional/visual package in one funny pic and get her back to the mindset she was in when she mentioned being down. After that, maybe start to transition away from that point of reference as per Irish's advice as you don't want her thinking you're a pyromaniac! Ha!

This is just a rough idea that sprung to mind when I read your post so I don't know how it ties in with your own style.

Something else I'd maybe suggest is to avoid the language stuff for the moment, that section where you describe the rock pic using sensual language, in my opinion, comes off as being totally not you. There are better ways to go about this sort of thing and its inclusion here seems unnatural; again this is just opinion, you asked for feedback and I figure you can appreciate some honesty.

Overall, here's what I see: She contacted you; she's asking you to get in touch with her when your phone comes back on; she's given you an indication of the places she likes to go; she seems to be trying to qualify herself to an extent. Stop over analyzing the flow and go with it, I think you're on to a winner.

Best of luck,
Periphery