So right around the time I first started doing online game seriously (fall 2011) I met this real cute girl off OKC for minigolf. Turned out she had a boyfriend at the time, but we got on well and I didn't know anyone in my town, so we sort of stayed in touch.

A year and half later, we've hung out maybe twice up until last week. We'd have pretty long text convos every so often, but that would be the extent of it. But even then, she would and still does send pretty long responses, we'd already developed plenty of our own inside jokes, and I'm usually the one who ends up not texting her back at the end of the night for whatever reason.

Last week I met her for drinks at a local bar. She's long since dumped the boyfriend (I didn't capitalize back then b/c I had other shit going on) and at this point has what she calls a "gentleman caller." So we have a great 2 hour talk and I kiss her on the way back to her car, once more before I leave her. She's easily one of the cutest girls I've gone out with, very smart (getting a PhD in Psych), very sexually comfortable, and is super easy to talk to.

Fast forward to last night. We had made plans to watch a movie and drink, so I bring over a bottle of wine. Her roommate ends up watching it with us, so I could only kiss her towards the end of the movie after the roomie left to take a phone call. Not once does she ever break the kiss or push me away. In fact, she seems to really be getting into it.

It's late and we've both had a lot of wine (it was a big fucking bottle), so she says that if I'm not good to drive, I'm free to spend the night.

"Sure," I say, not expecting anything. Then she gives me a choice between the couch and her bed.



I play it cool, make some comment about how comfy her bed seems (I was sitting on it at the time, and it was comfy), and we hop in. Soon as the lights go out, we make out.

She starts to get very bold. Running her hands through my hair and pulling it and pulling me into the kiss. She's wearing basketball shorts, a bra, and a gym shirt. I'm in gym shorts and a shirt. She's cool with my hand on her breast. She's fine with my hand on her ass. I slip my hand under her shirt once, and she gently removes it.

"Okay, fine," I think. Not the first time a girl has done that, and it usually means nothing. Make out a little more, then she says...

"Just FYI, we're not having sex. I'm a makeout whore, but I'm not a whore."

"Okay," I say with a nonchalant smile. Even this doesn't faze me. I actually really like this girl, and when it's a girl I genuinely like I have no problem if she doesn't want to fuck right away. In fact, I prefer it. The whole process of taking her to bed makes it more enjoyable. Don't ask why I like it. I'm weird like that.

Anyways, soon she rolls over on top of me and starts grinding on my dick. Hard. Pulling my hair, kissing my neck and ears. Really working me over, so much so that I forget about escalating with her. Turns out she ends up getting off just by grinding through our clothes. I'm left with some bad blue balls, but whatever. We talk for a while and then fall asleep.

This morning I'm at my internship and we start texting. Here's where it gets weird...


HER: To get all serious and shit, as far as I'm concerned this isn't sexual. Not really looking for a fuck buddy. So we're just friends who make out occasionally lol

ME (after recovering from some serious shock): Then what do you consider your gentleman caller? I wasn't looking at it like that anyway. I was going the casual dating route, get to know each other and shit.

HER: The gentleman caller was casual dating, maybe working towards a relationship, but I think I'm getting tired of him.

ME (not wanting to make it too serious too fast, but seriously confused/concerned): He's not washing your dishes the way you like, huh? ((inside joke))

HER: Exactly! I'm in the market for a new sub (another inside joke; we'd been talking about doms/subs a lot), and you DID show some promise....



Since then the texts have gone back to their usual playfulness/plenty of flirting and sexual talk, but now I'm pretty concerned about what's going on. Her initial text made it sound like she wanted me just as a friend to make-out with/use to get off, leaving me with blue balls while she goes and fucks some other guy. I'm not fucking cool with that.

Then, after my response, she makes it sound like the door could potentially be open. I don't know why she assumed I was looking for a fuck buddy (I'm not), but I notice she didn't say anything about not wanting to date (which is what I do want with her).

The whole fucking thing has left me seriously rattled and confused... Everything about the way we interact up until that conversation has led me to believe she's interested in me as a dating and/or sexual prospect. How the fuck can you make out with and get off on someone without it being sexual? Is she just jerking me around, is she unsure of what she wants, is she testing me, is she nervous?

What the fuck? Help seriously appreciated for this one.

_________________
D.G.A.F. isn't just a state. It's a lifestyle.

I'm laughing so hard at her logic. "I'm a makeout whore but not a whore!". Although the fact that she got off just by grinding on top has happened to me before with this girl. Then she gave me a hand job in the middle of the mall with a bunch of skater kids running around. I was silly enough to not drag her behind the building and f-closed. Never heard from her again after that.

From what I can see, she was horny and desperate. You just have to push harder. Next time don't let she get off like that, take leads and go caveman. The whole texting the morning after was just her ASD and attempt to shift the power towards her. I wouldn't bite her bait and jump those hoops, rather when she said "Not really looking for a fuck buddy", I'd just qualify or tease her instead of going into the whole explaining the definition of the relationship. I usually avoid label it as much as I can, because once you verbalized something, it becomes fact and register into her brain. If you leave it unspoken for, there will be plenty of room to maneuver around.

_________________
,___,
[O.o] .: Survival Guide For Online Dating
/)__) .:Tips To Significantly Improve Your Online Game
-"--"-

Yeah, her logic really struck me as odd. She actually used the term 'makeout whore' twice during our first date last week... once during drinks when we were talking about sex (actually that's almost all we talk about), then again after we made out at the end of the night ("Told you I'm a makeout whore!") I think it's some kind of ASD she uses to excuse her sexual desires... since she's the one calling herself a whore, it means she isn't one and/or it loses its negative connotation, regardless of what she does. Kind of like a nerd calling himself a nerd, or black guys calling each other niggers, etc. Just my speculation.

I should iterate that my goal isn't necessarily to fuck her, but to date her (which entails fucking her). I don't want a fuck-buddy/FWB deal with her because I can already see where my head's going with her, and it's not heading down an emotionally-uninvested road, if you get me.

I shifted gears during that text conversation as soon as I realized I was jumping through that hoop. It's left things between us ambiguous, but it doesn't seem to have affected anything/her desire to see me again. So for now, I guess that's good.

Here's the thing about going caveman on her... this whole dom/sub joke we have, it's that she's the dom and she keeps trying to make me her sub. But so much so that I'm starting to wonder if she isn't a little bit serious... She has a strong personality (she constantly teases me and gives me shit) and she was *very* aggressive in bed, i.e. when she was kissing my neck, she was pulling my hair to move my head from side to side.

Then again, she has a pillow with safety pins stitched into it that says "Pin Me Down."

But yeah, next time I'll take your advice and escalate like I normally do. And I'm not going to let her get away with getting off on me and leaving me with blue balls again. I'd rather cut it short than continue to be used like that.

_________________
D.G.A.F. isn't just a state. It's a lifestyle.

Ok, things are basically back to normal. Got a dinner date with her tomorrow night; I never do dinner dates but I want to establish a dating vibe since she's going to San Fran this weekend for a big psychology convention and it's her birthday, so I'm sure she's going to be out partying getting macked on and meeting dudes.

One thing that's starting to bug me... we have great banter between us but she seems almost reticent to say anything that would bring us closer. She's always giving me shit or teasing me which is fine, but it defines almost our entire relationship. Before things got sexual with her, we had an "us vs. the world" kind of dynamic (somehow got into a Pinky and the Brain thing with us). There's really no affection or even expression of positive opinion of me on her part except in her willingness to constantly text me back, hang out with me (and not flake), and make out with me. It makes me reluctant to express any affection because I don't want to seem like some puppy chasing after her.

You guys ever experience this sort of thing? Something tells me it'll wear off once we have sex, but for the time being it's kind of throwing me off.

_________________
D.G.A.F. isn't just a state. It's a lifestyle.

I have a okc log on body building dot com. Its not great but, I am progressing. A guy helped me in his log. He goes by blinky. The guy taught me to msg 3-4 times, n-close or move on. My progresses has come since. On that site, they would call her rational female logic justifying being slutty. I want a girl who isn't another cum dumpster. Its up to you but, I would be bothered by her behavior and uncomfortable with her hygiene. Its not hard to catch an std. I am still learning. Search tat guys log. He has a lot of helpful stuff there.

....what?

_________________
D.G.A.F. isn't just a state. It's a lifestyle.

Well this was hilarious. So how did it go?

It's going great. I've hung out with her twice since last post. Took her out for Ethiopian food (which turned out to be FUCKING SCRUMPTIOUS, btw) and paid for it since it's her birthday.... she's actually really good about paying for her half without hesitating, which is awesome. Most girls don't even bother to try.

Met her and some of her friends at a bar last night, then went back to her place with her roomie, watched 'Silence of the Lambs' and got a little drunk on screwdrivers. After that, went to bed with her and same deal; heavy makeout session, she eventually gets on top and gets off from grinding on me. I was kind of drunk so I didn't think to escalate. Not very concerned about it, except she seems to go for a "one and done" kind of thing. Not sure if that means she's not very much into sex or not. Maybe it'll be different when I actually sleep with her.

I actually really like this girl (and she's goddamned cute, too). I could easily see myself getting into a relationship with her, only problem is I'm heading to Korea in a couple months.... that'll probably be a bitch to deal with when the time comes, but for now I'm enjoying it for what it is.

I realized what I was doing wrong before... Part of my style is to bring up the idea of sex between me and the girl ASAP (except I jokingly frame it as her treating me like a piece of meat and me resisting... they eat it up). But this is for girls I just want to fuck. This particular girl, I don't want to just fuck her, I actually want to date her. And I know that's her intention too. But I was bringing up the idea of sex between us a lot because I forgot that gaming a girl you want to date and one you want to fuck don't necessarily use the same methods, and that's what triggered those "This isn't sexual" comments. I've knocked it off, and since then things with her have been great.

I've been fucking random girls for so long, I forgot what it's like to actually date a girl. It's nice.

_________________
D.G.A.F. isn't just a state. It's a lifestyle.

You wrote a novel about one girl that screws around and has a bf.