Here a profile I just wrote to use on a couple different sites. Please tear it apart for me and give me any feedback/suggestions on what to change. Thanks.


I'm not sure that I am really ready for anything more serious than just dating. Yet If the right person comes along I am not going to let the opportunity slip me by. I work a lot and try to stay active so I haven't had much of a chance to network since I moved back to Tempe. Hence why I am on here.

I graduated from U of A with a B.S. in Psychology, and a business minor. I currently do Business to Business sales, and plan to go back to school for my MBA. I plan on running my own business eventually and will not let anything hold me back. I refuse to work 40, 60, or 80 hours a week for the rest of my career unless it is for myself and something I have a stake in.

Health and fitness are important to me and would only hope so for anyone I am with. Beauty is an important trait, but it is common, and should never be a determining factor. I workout most days after work and try to swim and bike a couple days a week. I would really like to start taking my dog on hikes soon. So if your a hiking fanatic that's awesome.

I think family is super important and the values that come along with it. If you cannot love your own family how can you really love anyone else. I'm not trying to start a family though. For those with kids I am not turning you away, but do not expect me to be their father.

Once I'm finished for the day and have time to relax I enjoy a good laugh, a good meal, and possibly a good movie. I will listen to any music except country. I like classical when trying to focus, classic rock when I'm relaxing, and dubstep/electronic/house when trying to get crazy. If your interested send me a message. If I don't respond don't take it to heart and don't harass me.

lol you guys are funny on this site with your profiles. there is nothing wrong with this profile man. just start sending those messages, message every girl on your list, and dont waste time reading profiles until after theyve responded. (this saves you time)

enjoy yourself

Here's a few tips:

1. Don't make it a biography. Keep it light and fun with humor.

2. Don't spend the next 2 sentences explaining the first one. For example, if you like fitness, just say so. No need to explain why. Alpha male doesn't owe anyone any explanation. He does what he wants to do. With this, you raise curiosity in them, they will want to message you asking you the reason. Hence, the more odd or eccentric you are the better.

3. Don't use uncertain phrase such as "I'm not sure", "planning", "trying", etc... Use bold statement with "want" "doing" etc... you know what to do.

4. Be more original. Most of your stuffs is PUA materials that are taken from different PUAs, there are inconsistent in the frames and vibes. Make your own personality shine.

5. Use discreet DHV. Don't list out everything you do. Do so in a clever and discreet ways. That way you appear to be sophisticated not bragging.

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Agreed!!! Your profile seems a little "Look at me, I'm cool because blah, blah, blah.", just be cool and "express it"!


Peace...

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Crypto...
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All girl's are Freaks...It is your job to bring it out in them! - Crypto

You need to stop bending over and letting her ass fuck your brain! - Heywood

Add abit of humour, Write things which you think will get girls thinking and want to know more.
It seems serious + like a CV trying to sell yourself.

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