Ok sooo I chatted up this very very cute chick on Ok Cupid using some cocky / funny chat. Moved it onto facebook where we carried on chatting over the course of a week. It was all going pretty well, especially when the filthy chat came out. She’s obviously a freak in bed and even though she’s a bit slutty - I wanna nail that shit.

The problem started when I sent her a message, she replied and I thought I’d just leave it a while to get some POWER back. Unfortunately this pissed her off and when I messaged her a few days later to see if she was up for drinks she said:

‘whatever, you’ve been saying that few a while now, I’m not that bothered and you’ll probably take 4 days to reply anyway’.

Sheeeeeet. I could see all the freaky sex disappearing before my very eyes. I replied:

‘meehhh. come on then lets hang out - i'm around sat and sun. wouldn't mind some drinks...’

‘come on wild child’

Nothing back. I’m pretty annoyed, especially because my last comment was so bloody weak it makes me shudder. I’ve got other chicks floating about but I’m mad keen on smashing this bird. What should I do???

You're not in a great position here, personally I'd just ditch the bitch and go for someone else - it's usually easier to start afresh than to make amends after an interaction goes tits up.

If you've got your heart set on this chick, I'd say the best thing to do is to leave it for a while - about a day - then take it back to some normal, non-sexual, fun conversation. After that, get her on the phone for a short (around 10 mins) chat - keep the conversation casual and banter-filled. Then just send a message saying it was good to talk, and would be cool to hang out soon.

One thing I'd say is that sexting, phone sex or kinky webcam sessions are best saved for after you've met in person. If you escalate sexually before you've met, the interaction "peaks" too early, and it's a lot harder to get agreement to go on a date. I couldn't tell you the exact reason for this, but you see the same phenomenon during night game, where getting too hot and heavy in a club, before bouncing back to your house often leads in rejection.

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www.interbang.wordpress.com Duke's blog - Interbang: how to fuck obscene numbers of women via online dating

Wise words. I agree with your point about not getting too kinky before an actual meeting. I think we peaked and now its inevitably faded.

To be fair though it was her that instigated – I was trying to set up a date, she said ‘what you doing Sunday?’, I said ‘nada’, and then she just said ‘wanna fuck?’. Threw me a little bit, then it got all dirty. I also didn’t say yes to it because I knew I’d be hungover on Sunday and i just wanted to chill in my pj's all day.

I think you’re right - I’ll leave it a day or two and then come in with some normal chat. The key will be to not mention meeting up, but to game her well enough so that she suggests it.

p.s. this is a bit oneitis, but she’s just really really hot.

hahaha the girl you wanna bang asks if YOU wanna bang and you didnt reply coz you wanted to hang in your pjs during the day?! Tell her that see what she says! classic
I actually thought your text exchange was ok and she seems to be making it easy for you by pointing out the 'you took too long to text' thing. You should still be able to bring this back I think. Just flirt around the issue (of sex) for a while without going straight for the juggular, keep it fun, bold (ie keep the kid gloves off) and see how she responds.

Hmmmm. I think dukepua's got it right, I still got some work to do - gotta be bit sly about it and get her into some funny chat, get her interest up again and then POW - lock down the date. Save the kink for later.

I'm just wondering what the first words should be? Its needs to be strong...

Im another thats also found that the earlier the action peaks the less luck you have in actually getting someone to bed. I have no idea why this really is, i've always felt that the girl was too worried about being seen as a slut, so her defeces just go up and she dosn't want to meet you.

Perhaps in the future you might want to try flirting, but toning it down if she goes too far. It makes you seem a lot more legitimate and not just interested in sex. Even is sex is what she wants at the time, her opinion might change later.

Some girls like this are sex addicts. In that case being in the 'friend zone' may be where you want to be, as thats the point where you can move from being friends to friends with benefits easily if she is a sex addict.

Just my $0.02