Skypirate,

You ask a very good question and it is definitely something that I have encountered several times myself. There are a few ways to handle it just depending on personally what you prefer to do. I can't really say that one way is really better than another.

The first is to continue to build more comfort and rapport with her. I will sometimes remind them that they joined the online dating site to meet people. In some cases it just takes a bit more of coddling if you will in order to get them to come out of their shell. Make sure to invite them to meet in public places to make it a little easier for them. I know the stigma around online dating can be tough to get past but women who want to meet people don't care about that.

It does seem like I've run into a few women with online profiles that genuinely don't have an interest in meeting anyone. They are just on there I guess to see what they could get, or maybe these people did it because they have a friend on there.

The last way to deal with this is to be the prize and act like the prize. You can basically play hard ball with the girl. "Girl, I'm interested in meeting you. Tuesday night I always go to the one restaurant ...... at 7pm. If you want to get to know me better then I'll see you there." Something along those lines can work but isn't always the best tactic.

Both ideas have their ways of backfiring on us. If we are too much of a nice guy they can make this online talking thing last forever plus a day. If we are too firm then we may make them shy away from us.

Typically, I go for a blend of the two options. For a little while I am nice comforting and patient trying to get the girl out of her "hole" so to speak. Then if that doesn't work then I become far more direct in getting her to meet me. I will tell her look either you like me and you want to know more about me or you don't. After a while you get tired of playing games and you want to rule the girl in or out so you can go on with your life.

Hope this helps,

~Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Wow, I just went through a chunk of your thread and you are a pro at this, so I thought I'd ask aboutmy problem. This is my first every sarge attempt, and it is on Myspace.

Ok, so I read a few pointers from this forum and decided to start off by doing some online sarging until i finish reading "The Game" and get my IRL skills up to par. Here's an opener I sent and the response I got:

To: mistac01
is it ure face or u wearing a mask?
------------------------------------------------------------------
To: HB1
Are you wearing a wig...........or is that your real hair?


Seems like I stuck a nerve with her

I was thinking of recovering with something like:
"Oh no, your hair looks nice, I was just browsing and saw your pics with two different hair colors and was wondering if it was a wig. I can tell by the response you're a firey one, that's OK cause I like fiery people You'd be surprised what you can find out about people's personalities from simple questions. Tell me this, what's your absolute favorate animal? Just wait until you hear mine!"

Do you guys think this would work, or does it need tweaking?

Mistac01,

I think that would work as a recovery man. You definitely need to switch topics immediately after using an opener like this to get her attention.

Just a question but where did you get this opener from? I see a lot of people using it and asking me about it.

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Thanks.Good advice. I think with experience, you realise which girls need handling gently and which need pushing.

With one girl I did a quick email acknowledging her reluctance and sent a link to a webpage which offers tips to ensure a safe online dating experience. I also posted one of my favourite quotes about risk taking - "A ship in harbor is safe -- but that is not what ships are built for". It seemed to do the trick as I now have her number and she seems more keen to meet.

Skypirate,

That's awesome man! I'm glad that that helps you out. Like you said it just comes from experience in being able to basically cold read the girl on the other side of the Internet from you. This is why I advocate going out in addition to doing stuff online. Mostly because you need that experience, that "Jedi sense of the force" in a way to know what she's thinking.

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

I found it on this site in my research.
The girl didn't go for my recovery, just read it and didn't reply.....However I emailed 8 girls with the opener. One of them has answered "my real hair...lol, why?" Which seems like a perfect response. Shows me she has a sense of humor as we as being a HB9.

I'm currently waiting a day to respond to her, per advice I also read on this site. After that, I'm planning on immetidiately segueing into the"what's your favorte animal" scenario from above like this:

"Oh, maybe wig was the wrong word. Your hair is nice, and I was wondering if it was yours or if it was extensions. Seems like a lot of girls get the extensions right now , but I've found after hanging out with a few who do that they are very high maintenance. From your reply I can tell you have a sense of humor, and you can look good, have fun, and also be laid back.

I've kind of got this talent of being able to get a feel for people's personalities after a few simple questions. I can usually get a lot of insight from around three questions or so.

Tell me this, what's your absolute favorite animal? Just wait until you hear mine! "

Do you think this would work, or does it need tweaking? I'd be telling her she looks good, is that a mistake? I definately don't want to start coming across as AFC. Is the reply too wordy? Can It be optomized? Any help is appreciated!

Mistac01,

This response works for me. It get you to a different topic and start to build some initial rapport. The reply doesn't seem too wordy to me. As long as we keep the majority of our messages under a couple of paragraphs it will do well.

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Hi JSmooth,

I wonder if you can help me on this issue. I'm online sarging and getting 'dates' from it. What I'd like to know is where does this fall into the Mystery Method M3 Model? I think on a lot of my dates I'm not aware if I should be trying to attract more or assume that's done and go for comfort...

On a date would I still be in A? In C? Does online game fit neatly into the M3 model?

Skypirate1965,

To answer you question the M3 model doesn't really fit into online game. I've talked about this a little bit before many posts ago. Bascially, with online game there is some initial attraction before she messages you back for the first time. Then there is a little bit of attraction that we built, and also we have to build enough comfort with them for the girl to even meet us for a date.

We get out in real life on the date and go okay where am I at? It took me a while to identify it too but the truth of the matter is, Attraction. You have already built some attraction which is good, but you're making your second first impression if you will. It's time to go back through attraction, specifically A2 to A3 if you are referring back to the M3 model.

With that being said you won't have to dwell on it and watch for a lot of IOIs. I mean this girl is already on a date with you that's an IOI in itself right? Just touch on it some to remind her why she's attracted to you and then go back forward towards comfort, and don't forget to kino!

~Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Thanks. I think that makes things clearer for me.I think I am a stage in my sarging where I am painfully aware of my flaws being at stage 2 of the 4 stage process (Unconscious and Incompetent, Conscious and Incompetent, Conscious and Competent and finally Unconscious and Competent.)

Ok, I sent the response and as of right now it is still "unread" on myspace. This is understandable because I sent it at night on the 24th, and the thanksgiving holiday makes everyone busy so things like reading myspace messages fall to the wayside.

What I'm curious about is when it is appropriate to send a "reminder" message and how should such a message read? If it remains unread by say friday or saturday, is that long enough to wait to send a "reminder" without looking AFC or creepy? What should I say in the reminder message? Thanks!

I opened this HB8.5 with a.. on myspace.

Me: Damn, Who are you? :)
HB: (Full name). Get to know me :))

How should i start this?

Im in High School by the way.. Sophmore

Shes a senior or a Junior in High School.

Shawn1234,

Sounds like she has some initial interest in you and wants to get to know you better. First please realize that none of this is rocket science or like dismabtling an atomic bomb. If you screw up a little its not going to sink you. Based on her reaction I'd probably have her qualify to me a little bit by saying something like, "What would you like me to know about you?"

It's simple and it gets her telling you about herself. That way you can build off her responses into conversation.

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

This is what i was going to reply.

Me: Damn, Who are you? :)
HB: (Full Name). Get to know me :))

My next line is...

Well (Her), I'm (NAME) lol
Other than you have a really nice outlook,
Describe yourself in 3 words why I should get to know you better :)

or should i go with..

What would you like me to know about you?

thanks for helping me man.

Me: Damn, Who are you? :)
HB: (Full Name). Get to know me :))
Me: Well(her), Im (me) lol
What would you like me to know about you? :)
Describe yourself in 3 words and cant be anything about your looks:)
HB: Haha uhm. Outgoing,halirous, and blonde. Your turn???


whats next help me please