Simple do to her what you think a hot girl would say to you. She added you, keep in mind you are the prize, not her.

If she doesn't message you soon send her a message and say, "Hey there, I added you, but I honestly can't remember you. Where do I know you from?"

That will basically give us her intentions.

Not sure what happened either - she answered me before I could write back and it was the "other" kind:

"Hey I just saw this text from the other day! I'm supposed to be going out of town this weekend. I have to be honest, I don't think we are a match :-/"


Do you know what, I thought things fell a little flat when we met in person, and that she might be a little add but thought it might be first date jitters. I wanted to reply something like...

"I thought we really were (a match) after all our communication and then less so in person - not sure what happened but thought you deserved a second chance:) "


Or I could just let it go - I'm really not that bent over it, but I have this desire to let her know just that. I'm interested but if not, so what

Alisterio,

If you feel strongly enough that you should send her that message then certainly do it. It certainly doesn't hurt anything at this point. Sorry to hear that she feels that way. Sometimes its just not there.

Jon

Hey J,

I really dont know what to do with that chick.We were supposed to have the 2nd date but that day afternoon i just got a text from her like: "I am so sorry to cancel this but i just started a new job, but i had a great time with you too, i ll text you when i know more."

Of course i was so pissed off , and i almost said for myself : ok i dont care i forget this girls, but on the other hand it really chapped my ass the whole thing that there is an important thing in life that i ve just found out how bad i am at this.

So started to look around and i found the mystery method book.I red some chapter and immediately understood the whole thing what did i do wrong and stuff.

I should have stayed in the comfort zone just like you advised saying like : who said that i am gonna sleep with you, yeah needles to say that time i didnt even know that there is attraction, comfort, seduction zones.

Anyway i have no idea how can i get to the point where i can keep building the comfort, and mainly because she said : "i ll text you" is just another test how soon am i gonna give up or is it serious now?

So basically should i text her or should i just wait her?

And if i should text her it should be like expressing again that i dont want just sleep with her like: Hey girl, we were up to so much fun, just because things were escalated at the and it doesnt mean that my main objective now is just to sleep with you....

Or just a random text not really talking about our relationship just asking her about her new job or her weekend?

Thanks for helping, i keep reading the book and the materials what i ve found online, i am motivated to learn:D

Valddlav,

I would just send her a random text message probably about her new job. There is no need to make a comment about sleeping with her or anything of that nature. That moment has past, and nothing can be gained from bringing that up.

You had attraction built with her when you were there. The likely reason sex didn't happen is because there wasn't enough comfort. To get to another date you are going to have to build more comfort with her, or basically just getting to know her without you trying to escalate it. IF she feels you are just asking all this stuff to get in her pants, game over. You have to genuinely be interested in getting to know her, and be attentive. Then if you do things right sex will just happen because it's the next step, not because we have to escalate it. Assuming that is your goal.

Either way to get a second date the next step is to establish more comfort and rapport with her by messaging her, or calling her. When she becomes more comfortable with you after a good amount of time talking to her or messaging her then ask her for another date.

Jon

J Smooth,

My brother is Alistario and you come highly recommended. I have a question for
you regarding a HB 7.5 I met two weeks ago.

Anyways started with a multiple F-close two weeks ago and a quick breakfast afterwards. I gave here my number and she texted me the next day. I missed it because my phone broke, but she texted and called me two days later.

I was working weekend shift, so I went out on a weekday date with her the following thursday, ended with a K-close -- first bad sign, I'm moving down the ladder.

Made plans later to do somethign the following tuesday -- she blew me off -- claimed to be overtime at work, but made plans to do something on Saturday.
Saturday came and blew me off for that as well, claiming to be sick.

Then out of the blue I got the following text on Monday
"Hey, long day. I just got off work. Did I mention I barely have tiem to sleep sometimes? I don't want to leavde u lingering I'll be a terrible friend/gf to you because I don't have time for a social life right now. I'm really sorry"

Me" Huh, Strange. You mind if I give you a call to talke for a few min?"

Her "I'm working on homework right now. Could be text instead"

Me" Just hard to hear what someone is really saying with a text, and like I said what you sent to me seemed a little strang to me. figured it would be faster to just talk. Then I don't need to make assumptions. For instance, I didn't even know I was lingering. but it is what it is so I'll just say I enjoy hanging out with you and assume that you don't think the same thing. Its cool, sometimes that's just the way it is. If I'm wrong you can say so, but I not going to have some awkward conversation over a couple of dates. Hope your class goes well. Maybe I'll see you around sometime. Good night"

Her like 20 minutes later and where I get confused
"I like handing out with you too, but i just odn't have time for friendships lets say. You are very nice and sweet and I don't wish to give you false hope when I know I wont be able to deliver. That's all. I know you have been wanting to hang out and for one reason or another I have not been able to make it. I jsut like to be upfront and let you know that iam at a critical stage firght now and I lake the time for meaningful friendships. Thats all. Maybe later, but not now. I won't be abl eto make ti due to my busy schedule"

Is this girl just crazy? Any options here if I want to F-close again, or should I just close up shop and head off for the next girl. Reason for concern is I live in a really small town and single 30 year old women without kids are few and far between. Thanks for your help.

E_Fla

_________________
E_Fla

Jon, a sometimes fairly valid argument many guys make against using online game and why they find it causes too much frustration, is the fact that you sometimes can't tell if a lady you're messaging (on an online dating site) for the first time, is even for real - like she only has 1 pic up on her profile and/or from the 1 photo she has up, she looks 'too' hot, so a guy wonders whether the female profile, may be fake and raises this in his first message. In other cases, a lady can have 3 or 4 pics up on her profile, but a guy finds they're still too 'good', so has valid suspicions.

This is especially true, if a female profile falls into the 'stupid, boring profile' category, where a lady says very little in her profile and/or even for any lady who's said a fair bit about herself in her profile, but still only has 1 photo up.

I'd be extremely grateful for your advice on how to handle this, in a more sophisticated, wittier and cleverer way, than what most AFC guys do (myself included). Please also include what you'd ideally also suggest saying in the subject line of such a first, or possibly a 2nd message.

What I mean, is do you think it's wise or extremely unwise for a guy to say in the body of his first message, something like :
1) 'hey sorry to ask and sorry if this offends, but as guys unfortunately have to contend with occasional fake female profiles on even this site, are you even a real lady and not a fake one, as the 1 photo you currently have up on your profile, looks too good. If you're definitely real and can prove you are, by sending additional face and body photos, that'd be helpful and would be much appreciated'.
Some women reading that could sympathise, while others may get angry and/or offended, which is the possible risk a guy takes in raising the topic.

2) If a guy is wondering if he's messaging a possible fake female profile (that may turn out to be real), should or shouldn't a guy instead only say something right at the very bottom of the first message he's sending, as a PS. type of line. If so,
please elaborate on what specific non-AFC wording you'd suggest using ?.

3) If you reckon in a first message, it'd be wise to never say anything at all like that, as it makes the common mistake too many AFC guys keep making with online game - making a lady (whether real or possibly fake), qualify herself without having established and haing created any attraction and rapport and should save it instead for a 2nd message, if a guy gets a response to his first message sent. If so, then what witty, cleverer wording do you suggest using in a 2nd message, asking if a lady is real or fake with her profile and to offer proof of more photos, if she says she's not offended and is definitely real. Thanks.

How do you know these were claims? Did you go by her work? Did you go by her house? Do you know for fact she's lying to you or is this just speculation, because sometimes "life" does get in the way.
Okay, I see why you think her excuses were possible blow offs, but some people really do have a crazy schedule.
Wow, that text pretty well sums it up and severs the ties between you two.
E_Fla,

Close up shop man and move on.

You saying, "Maybe I'll see you around sometime" and her telling you in multiple sentences she doesn't have time for it pretty well tells us how this is going to go. She can keep making excuses of why she can't see you until the world ends. She's already laid the groundwork for the fact that she doesn't have time or want to hang out.

TI know there aren't a bunch of 30 year olds without kids. I'm almost 28 and believe me there aren't many people my age that are single and don't have children. Luckily I love kids, but anyways.... There isn't much we can really do with this, it's just easier to start over to be honest with you.

~Jon

I've answered a few question like this before you might want to look back through but most of the time it depends on what is left in the girls profile that I can use to make a witty remark about. If it's very generic my first message might be something like...

"I glanced at your profile for a minute today, and you see to be a pretty lively person. Is there more to you than meets the eye? Message me back because I want to find out what you're all about."

The second message is something I can't really write it would be entirely based on what she sent back to me.
Do you really thing she would tell you if she was a "fake" profile? If it's a scam or porn site type of profile thing they aren't going to be honest with you. I'd just open it like normal and be cautious. You can usually tell by the responses from these types of people if they are full of it or not.
Again, I open them the same way when I did. Most of the time if I have any doubt about a profile I don't message them. I just don't take the time to deal with it. I don't personally message every woman on a site. I do actually like to make sure they have some things in common with me, because I am personally looking for a relationship. If there is no potential for that then for me I think, "Why bother?"
I'm going to break this two part question up to better answer it. I agree that you should not normally have a girl qualify to you in the first message. Without any rapport at all to base it off of you have no leverage to ask her to qualify. She is more likely to ignore the message than to respond to it. Just because that is the easiest thing to do.
I would proceed as normal through the first few messages. If I still have doubts after the first couple of messages as to whether her profile is fake or not then I will ask for additional pictures. I operate on the assumption that she is real. I continue to go down the path of building attraction and rapport with her. After 3-4 messages I have enough rapport with most girls that if they are real they will send me additional photos and that sort of thing.

Hope this helps you out Hydro1,

~Jon

Hey Jon, apparently your advice to take some times away from the girl is the best advice and decision I could ever make in my life. I've gotten so obsessed with pick-up, that I spend almost every second in my life thinking about how to meet new girls, and I can't enjoy my time hanging out with friends because of that. But I took your advice wholly, and start to work on things in my life. Piano, Capoeira, Bible reading, a lot of stuff that I used to enjoy doing.

Then things starts to come to piece for me...

I looked back to the past few months... I remember IOI's that girl(s) give me, some of them are the best in my school, and the ones that everybody afters, but just never got the chance. What was I doing?? Yeah, I'm funny, friendly, whatever... I believed it was social proof and genuine friendliness, coz I talk to everybody, and that's my personal advantage. I was doing game... naturally...

That boosted my confidence like a jetpack and then I was going out the next day.. only to find a girl that's physically attractive and ended up getting her number. I qualified her on her hometown, because I heard that the people in her hometown is such a friendly and not cheap. And I complimented her hair. Well, I didn't know of the thing about her hometown is a qualification, but I should say the number close isn't solid and I could lose the girl real fast if I don't act quickly.

So Jon, now I've found my own personal style of game, conversational skills, but still dealing with phone flake and taking them on dates and ended up having relationships or whatever I want with them, and I wanna thank you for the advice, it's the one of those that changed my life.

So, I texted her a few mins later, I got the feeling that I have to do this, if not it'd be a flake. She's working in a phone shop, and she's this girl who uses the phone dummies as a mirror. So it goes like this:

Me: Hey *HB*, this is Steven, the guy who founded your talent on adding new features to the phone (which uses them as mirror ). I like ur hair, it looks good (I can't remember the rest here). Is that natural or recently dyed? It looks so fresh.

Her: Oh yea.. Umm, I did nothing to them, it's natural. Really? I think they're bad. Btw, I'm working so I might not be able to reply to ur texts. Sorry. OK?

(2 hours later)
Me: Ey, sorry for late reply, just hung out with friends and family. What a great night.. Well, I believe in my own opinion and myself. That way I can understand them and able to make the decision how I gonna talk and behave with them. U prefer night time or daytime, girl?

Her: Anytime, why?? What kind of personality do I have? Umm, what's ur Facebook?

Me: (my e-mail adress, and warm read about the answer that she gives, too many cheesy stuff already, haha . What do you like about nighttime?

I realize I could do better and she didn't reply to the text..

But she added me on FB and sent me a message, saw my pic with a hot Frenchie, and asked me? "Who you're taking photo with, Steve?"

I replied few hours ago "a friend from france, she's funny, she speaks like she swallowed an orange candy then speaks. haha.. It was cool meeting, so sad that it was so short, u seems to be a cool person. U like the beaches in *place*?

And hasn't replied yet, probably few more hours.

I'm having problem to escalate here.. What to do Jon??

Thanks

Best pal,
Steven

_________________
"Live every moment of your life as it is the best"

"Grief is the price we pay for love"

Hey Guys,

Looking for some advice, i have been experiamenting with a internet route, and whilst i thing the body of the e-mail's are okay, my subject title suck.

Any ideas for a quck generic, title that'll grab attention.

Cheers Reform

How to deal with hb's that each msg is 30mins after the previous one?

Steven,

Well let's be honest the main problem is your in person interaction didn't result in a solid number close. Keep in mind that you can have some initital attraction and interactions and get a number. However, it usually takes a good 15-20 minutes of just comfort building as well before a number is less likely to flake.

Let's say it takes a good 15 minutes just to banter, tease, whatever and get some attraction. Then you're looking at another 15 minutes or so of just building rapport and comfort with the girl. Then if you obtain her number you will do much better with stopping flakes. A good friend of mine on the forum Juice24 or just Juice had the same issue.

Anyways, because we didn't get a solid number close to talk to her on the phone we have regressed to online game. Yes, I do strongly consider online game a step down from having a phone number. It's just less personal! Like you said we need to escalate things again to get back in front of her. The problem is because you've already met her once in real life this could be very difficult.

I'd drop the Facebook junk and just try and talk to her on the phone. Online game can take a while to build back up to talking to someone in person. Your best bet is to continue to try to CALL her as your first option and text her as a distant second. When you talk to her you need to drop the lines and just build rapport with her showing her the awesomeness that is Steven.

~Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Reform,

I always was partial to using the subject line "Fungasm!"

~Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Hey JSmooth,

I've been online gaming for a while and one apsect of it has occurred quite frequently recently. I'm getting women who are very apprehensive on moving it from offline to the real world or giving out their phone numbers. On one hand I know that women can get a little bit freaked by the whole online thing and need re-assurance but I find it a bit child-ish, as they would know more about me than if I just approached them in the street.

I think negging them about it is likely to scare them off and give them reason to flake. However if you treat them with kid gloves it can be very AFC and lead to nothing more than the LJBF

Any ideas on handling this?