Mandos,

I would let sleeping dogs lie so to speak. If she doesn't want to be in a long distance relationship there isn't much you can do to convince her because all she has to do is stop responding to our messages. I would just see what happens next month in California. When you get there kino escalate and take it where it goes. It may be a one time thing, it might end up making something last. No way to know but to try.

Until then just back off the sexual stuff, and be a friend kind of thing.

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Thanks bro!
And thanks C0ld...

CK

_________________
success is my only mother fucking option, failure is not.

Thank you Jon

Hi again Jon,

I used an opener from this forum "the mirror opener" (Credit goes to diggidoyo) with little modifiction on my part on 7 girls in okcupid. and it worked really well.

and i got 2 excellent but tricky responses so far, one from HB7 - HB8 or higher not sure of the rating, but i'm sure she is at least HB7 as follows:

Me: Dude, That chick in those pics is Hot. can you hook me up with her? ;)

HB7-8: Hey dude, maybe I can ;) Name me 5 reasons, why i should :D

Now this girl sound not easy to deal with, thats why i need to be very careful with the response, i just don't want to blow it!

"Frustration" is my enemy if i did. specially when i'm new to the whole PUA thing.

i'm thinking of saying: "Make them 3" then following up from there..

But still i'm not sure if i should use DHV for all those reasons she asked for, like my personal good trait, or something else. like places i would take her to or what is best?

I was also thinking of not giving her any reasons at all and forcing her to something/changing the topic so i can lead the conversation myself and not give her the upper hand to make it like a test for me, what do you think jon bro?

the other girl is around HB5-6 gave me this response:

haha lol cute hi im {her name} and u might be a stranger in deed..
looks she might have but its not only about that in the end bru..

;)
mwah

this last line of her's "but its not only about that in the end" i'm not really sure what she means..

Those 2 conversations could have tens of variations, i just want to make successful ones. any suggestions?

also how to make transitions and closing at the end?

Thank you

C0ldfire,

I actually just had this discussion with Clueful about this opener. I can appreciate that the opener generates a response but it puts us in a tough position. You asked her to do something for you. In some ways you initiated a shit test without realizing it.

When facing any compliance test (aka shit test) there are 3 things we can do. #1 Comply with it and fail! #2 We can ignore it completely. #3 We can ignore it and then put up a test of our own.

So, you asked her a question for compliance to hook you up. What did she do, ignored you and put up a compliance test of her own. FAIR ENOUGH. I agree the best option is going to be to ignore this as she did, and just change conversational topics. You can simply message her back with something as simple as, "Oh my god, you'll never guess what happened to me....[insert story]." You just want to get her talking at this point in time.
She means that a relationship is more than about looks and physical attraction. She is suggesting that it is also about personality, common interests, etc. Kind of like Mystery's "Beaty is common...a good personality, great sense of humor, and a positive outlook are rare." kind of thing. I think you get what she is saying now.
Both of these conversations could have thousands of variations and there is no way to sit here and go through all of them. This isn't rocket surgery really. It basically works like this.

Open the girl
Transition to DHV stories
Build a Connection (Comfort)
Escalate Level of Contact (Email, IM, Phone, In Person)
Build more connection while continuing to Insert DHV Spikes
Escalate Level of Contact again

You have the girls talking to you so you just have to transition into stories about youself. It doesn't really matter what the story is. I'll talk about where I grew up, and what that was like. Being adopted and finding my biological family. Life Lessons learned. Stupid stories from when I was a little kid. All kinds of stuff you are just letting them in to who you are! At the same time where you can you are building attraction with DHV spikes.

As you tell the story or you are commenting on her stories you look for ways to mention a "past girlfriend" for Pre-Selection, or tell her how you'd do anything for your Friends/Family for Protector of Loved Ones, etc. There is more on DHV spikes in other areas of the forum if you need it.

Again, the only goal here is to first get her talking. Then to talk to her enough on a deep enough level to build comfort and a connection. We want her saying things like, "Yeah I was like that." Or "I know what you mean." OR "I have a story similar to that." We just want her to identify with who we are.

Hope this helps out again. Have a great weekend!

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Thank you Jon for all your support and valuable information.

I Greatly appreciate it :)

and sorry if i asked too many questions.

you too, Have a Great Weekend...

Dear Jon,

I tried out the titanic opener and got a respond.

me:You look familiar. Were you by any chance at the titanic? I swear I saw you cleaning tables after I finished eating.

her:lol. i dont even know what do you mean by titanic. And i don't clean any table . i am not working (:

me:You are the first girl I know that do not know what is titanic!!! My friend Google should be able to tell u what it is. Let me guess u are studying in Singapore Poly and you frequent Zouk (a dance club).

her:"hello. i know what is titantic . but i don't know what are you talking about. u were saying about titantic and then say u saw me cleaning table . Sorry to tell u that both of ur guesses are wrong.
Are you trying to be funny here? btw , you say you SWEAR you saw me cleaning table after you finished eating. but it is not me. so what are u trying to tell me ? trying to let me know that you are from junior college when you say i am a poly student and frequent zouk.
if you are trying to be funny , please don't bother to waste your time."

end

I do not know what to reply it seems that i have piss her off. Have i come across as too needy? How do i move on?

I feel like saying: "I am funny. I do not take things too seriously in life."

NewAge,

*Sigh* this is one of those moments that are hard for me. See here is the thing. There is stuff we can do to recover and work back for attraction and all that stuff. There are almost always moves to be made to get the girl. However, it boils down to this though.

If the girl doesn't get you, get your humor, and your personality then do you really want to be with this one? Don't get me wrong we can get the girl, but it starts becoming do we want to at this point? Do you really want to hang with a girl thats not going to understand you?

I run into this problem all the time and its tough. I know I can get the girl if I so choose because I have done it before without much problem. There are women I'm really attracted to physically and want to be with BUT I am not attracted to them personally.

If you want to get this one then I'd be more direct since the indirect stuff isn't going so well. Something like, "Okay, so you don't get my attempts at humor. Truth is I saw your profile, thought you were interesting, and wanted to see what you're all about."

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Dear Jon,

Thank you for yr help.

I am currently trying online game and i really wish to brush up my skills in this aspect.

In the end i still wish to be able to meet a girl that i really like but first i need to be able to have the skills to attract her.

NewAge.

NewAge,

You are very welcome. I tell you what I can tell that you are trying and working to do better with online game. If you can send me a "PM" or Private Message and include your email address I will make sure to send you a free copy with the first revision of the Online Dating Black Book I wrote. That should help you out a lot and give you some basic ideas of how to go about everything.

Jon

-OR-

You guys can click here to download it from my site for free!

Online Dating BlackBook rev.1 © 2008

http://www.jsmooth.org/Documents/ODBB.pdf

P.S.

I'm looking to release the more detailed and longer version / Online Dating Black Book Rev. 2 later this year!

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

I have a general question about the first meeting. So you've opened online, traded a few messages to build a little comfort and got an IM name. Had a couple IM convos and got a #-close. Had a few phone convos and you're ready to set up your first meeting. Do you have any recommendations for good places to have that first meeting? The concern I have is the fact that you've never actually met in person before and as we all know profile pictures aren't always that accurate so is there a good way to make sure you find each other? Or is it really not that much of an issue. Thanks.

Hey, how/where can I learn online game? I can open with pretty good success, but when I got to conversation, where it is supposed to lead?

Should the convo be sexual, funny? Should I be cocky? How much can online game be alike irl game?

I guess you know what Im after.

Dingus,

As with meeting anyone online you honestly don't know who are you meeting and neither does she so for your mutual safety I would suggest someplace plublic. Most of the dates I like to do at first involve activity dates. That way you have something to do other than to sit across from a table trying to generate conversation with each other.

-Go Karts
-Playing Pool
-Laser Tag
-Mall
-Walks in the Park
-Ghost Tours
-Go see a live band

When you set up to meet the person its really not that big of a deal. If you aren't certain of their profile pictures ask them what they are going to be wearing so that you can easily find them. Maybe have them meet you outside the venue. This really doesn't become that big of an issue most of the time. Plus you have their phone number, when in doubt call them on their cell.

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

WaeWae,

Honestly there are a few places you can go to learn online game. One is by purchasing the Matchbook method, various books or ebooks, or another similar method and learning how they do it. Of course, you can use the Online Sarging section of the forum, read through the posts and learn from the questions asked. Lastly, you can learn as I learned....by trial and error.

When you get into a conversation it's only suppose to lead to building rapport and comfort with the person you are talking to. As I've said hundreds of times probably the only goal of online meeting is to get the person from online to in front of you as quickly as possible. We can't do that if they are not comfortable with you.

This sounds like I am setting myself up for the friend zone doesn't it? While you are having your basic conversations you are embedding DHV spikes to create and or keep attraction. Also, when you are in front of her on the first date you still have to go back and build attraction in person, not to mention KINO! Then of course pushing back into comfort after you've revisited these steps.

Going sexual online is not a good idea. Its too easy to come across as creepy and being "that guy." If you are better calibrated and been doing online game for a while then this is possible and can work well, but you have to be able to read the person you are talking to well.

When you are online being cocky or arrogant can work against you most of the time. Many things like negs and cocky funny statements are misinterpreted as you being mean or being a jerk. Most communication is non-verbal. They can't hear your voice as you say it to know you're being funny, or see your body language to know you aren't being serious. You have to be careful with this but it can be used, just be concious of what you type. Now with that being said teasing is a great way to build attraction online or in person!

Online Game is a lot like game in real life. However you are jumping to comfort after opening and then while having normal conversation blending in your DHV or Attraction spikes as you tell stories back and forth.

I think you get the idea.

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

What you think about this:

This girl is for couple days in my area, so Im trying direct game on her. She will be at one concert where we might see.

FREE TRANSLATION

ME: "Hey, you are so hot, that I have to ask, who are YOU? ;o"
SHE: "Well _name1_´s friend _name2_ ::D"
Me: "Cool, has it been tough time here?" <-- Dont know how to say it in English, but I mean has she had cool time here.
ME: "G2g, crash ya later"
SHE: "Yeea, waiting for _band_ are you going to see it?"
SHE: "Yeea, bye "
ME: "Yeah, Im going. And yes, we can meet there, but one question, dont tell me you are an absolutist? ;P"

She havent logged in yet, so I can delete this message if I want still. What you think, is that good or bad?

Because at party, when I see her. Im gonna be drunk, so will she be also. Im gonna be horny as hell also, start kino escalation right away, dance with her. And try kiss close in 10min.