I am soo new to this stuff..my friend who's a pretty successful PUA referred me here. I decided I want to change my life around and figured online sarging might be the easiest way to start since I'm usually shy during the meeting phase with women. I sent out a bunch of messages with a light neg and the first response I got confused me

HB:

Wtf

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Brian

you're attractive, but do you have any personality?


How do I respond to this?

Hey man,

The profile isn't all that bad as is, you have a good positive tone, and a good energy built into what you wrote. There are some spelling errors...shame on you for that. The main thing I have a problem with is I see what your outlook on life is like, and what you like to do, that's great. BUT we need something in here about your personality type.

Also, we need you to be a little more specific about describing the type of woman you are after instead of just "I'm here to meet cool people with similar interests."
Again, go into the type of person and personality type you are interested in meeting.

Overall, not bad just be a bit more specific in your profile.

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Hey buddy,

Okay here is the thing you'll need to practice in field outside of Online Game. The reason for this is you need social calibration to be successful with meeting women. That's only gathered with face to face interactions.
Online Game isn't really meant as a substitute for going out or doing regular stuff because you are shy. I understand but you need to get past those feelings. Without getting out there and talking to people constantly your responses could be miscalibrated or slightly off.
I typically don't open with negs as a matter of personal preference and some experience. The reason is when you are online girls can't see your body language, they can't here your tone of voice, they don't know if you are serious or kidding. Thus, some people get offended.
Exactly my point, she doesn't know you man. Asking her to qualify to you at this point is pretty tough. Again she doesn't know how to take this exactly but it's border line insulting because she doesn't know if you are being serious or joking around or what. Hence, why we typically don't start with this.

If you want to try to salvage this one...try and say, "I think that came out wrong. Let's start over. I thought you looked pretty cool, and wanted to see what you are all about. I'm xxxx."

Good Luck,

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

thanks. im headed to the mall now to try an exercise i read about on here to help get rid of this anxiety by simply saying hi and a smile to every girl i come across. i think it can really help me get warmed up

JSmooth,

What kinds of pictures do you recommend to put on a profile. I've gone for multiple photos all pretty interesting locations but mainly solo shots. However I haven't chosen to put up any of me and other girls.

Am I missing a chance to DHV by showing HBs in the photos or will it look a bit try hard...

Plus theres the privacy side of things with putting pics up with people I know in.

Hey Walt,

The thing about pictures is you need to be doing something in them, be out, or doing an activity. The other thing I try to make sure to have is variety. I have pics of me in jeans and a T and some of me in dress clothes. Some include my friends, buddies from the local LAIR, and some have women in them. Again I try for as many photos as I can, and a variety of them.

Yes, you are missing out showing the DHV of pre-selection without having women in your pictures. This won't really HURT you but it doesn't HELP. It's up to you but I would highly recommend it.

I understand there is a privacy aspect of it all. Now most sites require you to sign up before you can view photos and detailed information, but that depends on the site. My friends are cool with it and know they are on there. When in doubt ask permission, I doubt many will be upset about it. If you must get new pictures with random people while out.

Hope that helps answer your questions,

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

jsmooth... meet Csmooth.

i am pretty sure this is a shit test.. tho i dont like to act until im 100%.

one of the replies the girl said was.. " u must have me confused with sum 1 else."

im not about to steal content, i stay congruent, tho this one... take 5.

if she REALLY thought i was confused, she wouldve taken out the word MUST. im no stalker, still i do want to answer because somethin about that reply... hmm.

You must have... encountered this at least once. if you can give me direction, i can mold the answer myself.

Thanks Jon, that was very helpful! I'm completely new to online sarging Going to review my pictures (although I think they are currently better than average as I travel alot and most of them are from round the world I'm going to try and include some with HBs for pre-selection.

My follow up question (I made a thread in this section) but probably better to ask directly in this post.

If I am NOT looking for a serious relationship at what stage do I reveal this. On my profile, after a few emails or if theres still attraction when we meet in person. I am purely looking for company and light fun. I'm still young (23) and like the feeling of freedom I currently have.

I think it could be a bold but good move to put this on the profile?

Thanks again.

Hey JSmooth there is this one problem i have been facing lately with getting a girls number or screenname. we end up having good conversations but im always the one who texts first or ims first is that good or bad? how can i change this so they will want to get a hold of me?

Hey Lionheartedforce.

There is nothing wrong with asking for this or being the first to initiate contact. As guys it's our responsibility to lead the interaction online much as we would in field with women as well. Don't think of this as a bad thing at all.

There are some women who are comfortable and aggressive enough to ask you for your information, but most women go by the idea that its the man's responsibility.

The only real way to have them want to contact you initially is just to continue to email them until they ask you. However, you run the risk of it them never taking the initiative for asking you for your contact information. In person I know a few ways to get a girl to ask but most of those involve strong kino with good conversation and it's such a fun interaction they ask to contact you. I really can't see converting that to online but I will check to see if there are some methods for achieving this, that perhaps I have not heard of.

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Hey JSmooth,

If you don't find enough attractive girls in your area, what do you do? You go for the online sarginf,right?? But most of the times when I open a girl OL, I don't get any responses, they'll respond only if I have a friends (social proof operner), but I can't open with cold approach to the girls I'm interested.

So can you guys give me guidelines on how to open and close in Facebook??

Thanks

Best pal
Steven

_________________
"Live every moment of your life as it is the best"

"Grief is the price we pay for love"

Stephen,

I mostly stick to dating websites and work from those. That is where most of my experience is.

The best person I know at using anything to do with Facebook is called "Whoopie" and he is around the forum as well. He has a whole system for meeting women online and is one of the best at using networking websites. Another person who is equally as good at networking websites would be Action Jackson who has his 'Matchbook' method for myspace.

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Hey JSmooth, Big fan. I like your style. I just joined a dating website and I am having difficulty thinking of openers. Don't worry man I'm not using anything like "your so hot" or stuff like that. But mine seem to work on about every 3 out of 10 women I open.

Just wondering if you can share some of your personal dating site openers that work consistently.

Thanks man

C_Daddy

C_Daddy,

Thanks for the compliments man I appreciate them. I don't mind posting some openers but keep in mind these work for me consistently I'm not sure what they'll do for you. Remember "congruence" is a big thing women look for when online. I am very direct in what I want, and how it's going to be. Not being an ass or anything but I'm more blunt than most people.

With that being said here are a few...

This is my standard direct opener both in person and online for the most part.

"Your profile caught my attention, and I wanted to message you to see what you are all about. I'm Jon."

I use this to get a fun vibe going on. I call out that I recognize she won't remember what she wrote. Where the average guy is quoting her profile trying to build comfort I flat tell her I know that doesn't do any good. Then I come across as being real with her and who I am. This works well.

"Kick Ass Profile! Hi Five! I know you probably can't remember half of what you wrote in it but you were genuine and that is rare. Most people on here it's like meeting their representative or something. I'm sure you know what I mean.

I'm Jon. If you reply back to me we might just hit it off."

This is my confident direct, no commited opener. Women don't really like nice guys. I mean that's what they say but no one ever really goes for them in person or online so I use this to seperate myself from the others.

"I'm not going to dazzle you with bullshit and pretend that I read every word of your profile. Truth is I saw your picture found you attractive, saw we had a few things in common, and I wanted to see what you are all about. My name is Jon, I'm not out to be someone's boyfriend yet, but I am interested in meeting you and seeing what happens."

There are a few you can use. Again, you might want to make sure it's going to fit your personality. If you don't come across as being the person you were in your opener she's going to know you're fake, and won't message you anymore. Then you have to be this person when you meet her too.

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

I'm interested in your opinion on this

one thing I noticed recently with openers that are less canned and more personalised is writing two separate parts. the first one is related to the reason why you're sending a message. the second is something completely random and off the wall like "but I gotta know what's your favourite sandwich filling?"

for some reason I don't know exactly why, they'll frequently ignore the first bit and respond to the second but they've obviously read the first line and its gone in their head. It's like a free pass to their subconscious to set up an ideal about yourself!