Actually if you were to search back just a few pages I just covered this for someone.

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Well she agreed to see you for coffee and you are having a pretty good dialogue sounds like things are well in hand.

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Hey J-smooth,

Im have a simple question. On Match as opposed to OKC im getting a lot more flakes after we arrange a meet up. Girls seem to be magically unexpectedly busier on Match with work etc. then OKC when I was on that, and they flake 1-2 days before our planned meet up. Im getting about 20-30% of them, after we plan a date, asking to reschedule, but not offering any days.

My normal technique is freeze out--> reengage

What has been the best method you have found for turning flakes into dates or preventing flakes in the first place?

thanks

First off, I'd want to take a look at your interaction from beginning speaking to her to arranging the date and what process you are going through. There may be something there we can add to help keep her from flaking in the first place. I generally don't get any flakes once I have a date setup. If it does occur its pretty rare.

I'm not sure if you are arranging the dates online, if you are getting a number first then arranging them or what. So, without more information I'm going to have a hard time suggesting a preventative measure. However, the process should be something like this.

Open via Match
5-15 solid messages vibing and building rapport
Get her # when the time feels right
Use Text/Calling to further build rapport and escalate comfort
Setup a Date
Follow up still texting/calling prior to the date
Date

No Show
Follow up via text/calling with her try to build more rapport with her
Setup a Second Date

Some girls need a good bit of information about you during the rapport stage before they will agree to meet. They want to who you are, what's going on in your life, your past, where you are headed, etc. Not only does this allow them to know who they are meeting but also gives them more to talk to you about. There are some girls you can push to a date rather quickly but they flake if they don't know a lot about you. The thought hits them..."he's a nice guy but what are we going to talk about, we've just chit chatted, I don't know much about him."

Anyways, tell me a bit more about your process and we'll see what we can do to improve it and prevent these flakes.

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Thanks for your help Jsmooth.

I can certainly see why you get less flakes, you are really taking the time to gain rapport and comfort through more emails, IMs, calls and texts. I have no doubt that would lower my flake rate. Unfortunately I'm too lazy. I'm going to research for some more cheap tricks and manipulative lines.

You can look for shortcuts all you want but the bottom line is you need a certain amount of comfort to get her in person...not all too different from getting a F-Close. Sure there are times you have just so much of a connection with attraction that it just happens despite comfort (Fools Mate).

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Fools Mate is 80% of my f-closes and game. Again I'm not saying you are wrong nor disagreeing with you. IM saying I know myself, and I know im too lazy.

And my internet results are good if not great.

Hey Guys-

Here are some videos I have been putting together going over various subjects regarding online game. These videos give you a more in depth look at each topic from why to use dating sites, what pictures to use, and what sites to use.

I'll add more as I have time to film and upload them.

Introduction to Online Game - http://vimeo.com/33183472

Skills Needed for Online Game - http://vimeo.com/33186938

What Not To Do - http://vimeo.com/33189133

NEW (Videos may still be loading)

Different Sites to Use - http://vimeo.com/jsmoothdating/online-websites

Pictures - http://vimeo.com/33573617

*** I will add more video links when I have them uploaded ***

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Thanks for doing those videos Jon. If you have the time and the software that can record what's seen on your laptop or monitor, it'd be cool if can you do 2 or 3 longer videos where you go over what you currently reckon are the 10 best guy profiles you've seen from any type of sites, in terms of both pics presented and written text, going over what makes them stand out from 99% of other more blander profiles seen.

You can say 'don't ever say, write, or show in any photos in your profile text' as was done in the videos currently up, but it's not till guys see examples of great guy profiles, that it'll properly register.

I'll see what I can do, thanks for the suggestion.

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Hey J Smooth,

So I met this girl at a College Winter formal dance, didnt get much in but a couple lines. She was taking pictures, so i thought thats my in-so I asked her to take a picture of me and my friend. Went about my business, and as she was leaving I said hey, how can I get that picture? I said do you have facebook? So she gave me her name, and I looked her up but I have no clue what to say. I didnt create a thread in our conversation last night, to pick up on so its pretty much - I gotta open her but I dont know what to say. Also it was an asian gathering and well I knew a lot of people but I felt that my value was dropping the whole time.

So my position: Met this hot chinese girl, didnt really talk with her, and she probably thinks i have low value.

What to do?

Help me out J Smooth!

I actually made a post about the Facebook close not long ago and how much they suck. Online Game is not an alternative to doing the right things in person. Online Game should be a supplement to meeting people in person. Secondly, I don't advocate Facebook for anything other than social circle game. Girls didn't join the site to date they joined to talk to friends. So you've blown it in field and now you want some sort of magic to happen online in order to get the girl. That's tough!

I'm going to help but I want you to understand the obstacles we face.

1. You have a "luke warm" approach on Facebook because you've seen her in person before. Thus you aren't totally doing a cold approach. However, you should have pushed for her # when she offered you her Facebook. And maybe you did but we didn't get it. Even if we did your intereaction is so short you'd have to resort to small talk to pick up on things cause you don't know what to talk to her about.

2. If she "REALLY" liked you she would have given you her # to begin with. Unfortunately, this means that the initial attraction wasn't there. That normally isn't a big deal cause you can build Attraction but it doesn't help either.

Now with all that in mind knowing literally the odds are against us on this one we need to develop a strategy that gets you in front of the girl. You are going to essentially have to cold approach her in a way in which is going to trigger a response that gets her really talking to you.

I'm thinking my way through this as I write so sorry for the longer than normal response. I just type what's in my head. We can't start out with "Good seeing you" or anything like that cause we'll get brushed off in a second.

We can't go with deeper rapport building stuff cause we don't know anything about her. Unless we start digging through her profile and her pictures...which at this stage would just be creepy.... We could hang around her Facebook randomly commenting and posting hoping to maybe snag her on chat...

FYI: If you see her on chat you totally need to go for it cause that'd help a lot right now.

We definitely can't just jump into seduction and sexualizing things cause online that is going to get weird fast.

We can't start negging her cause let's face it online those things are typically taken as insults cause she can't see your body language and HOW you said them...they have to be taken at face value.

What we need is some kind of push/pull opener to get her attention I think. We basically have to start off from scratch cause I doubt she's gonna remember us. I'm remembering something from a friend of mine back in the day...Whoopie. You are gonna need to poke the girl on facebook and wait for her to poke you back.

"Hey you know its not safe to poke strangers! I guess your parents never taught you that! "

facebook-methodfield-tested-approved-vt ... ook+opener

Rather than tell you where to go from here I'd read his thread. He was one of the best guys at pulling girls from Facebook that I have personally seen in years. Hope this gives you some insight as to what to do and why I chose this method of approaching her.

Next time really push for her # in field. Even if she blows you out over it sometimes the risk is worth it.

Best of luck,

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Hello JSmooth

I'm a big fan of your video series. Thanks for adding these!

Anyway, so I'm someone who likes my personal space and doesn't want to call/text a girl many times each day. I can handle a series of text messages in a day, but generally I like to stay busy and not obsess over my phone (got over that back in college).

I notice that some of the girls I meet (in person after msging, text, phone calls) like to text me and appear to be needy, which is ok. But I don't want to have to devote so much time to them every day. It's not that I don't want to see them, I guess I'd rather take it slow and see how things go, instead of being bombarded by msgs or calls. (And does she really expect me to have two 45 minute conversations in consequent days?)

I guess this makes me more of a private person, but I'm devoted to my work and try to let her know that I'm busy working, studying or doing my own thing. Is there any way to convey this msg w/o coming off like a total ass? I want us both to be on the same page, as you mention congruence, and yet I'm not sure how to do this. Thanks for the help

greg

Greg when you are first meeting someone online I would say you'll have to bite the bullet a little bit on these and just go with them in order to build rapport. However, there is nothing wrong with you telling her "at work I won't be able to respond to you until I'm off the clock."

Then from there I would save the conversation for in person on a date because then you can more accurately convey your personality type and you love getting to know new people but you just don't like to message all day long, etc. Put it in your own words obviously but I think this is a first date conversation.

There are definite ways to do it without seeming like an ass. I would probably go as far as to write down what I planned to say, then say it out loud to see how it sounds. Then sugar coat it from there.

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

I think my question has been previously asked and you said to just ignore it and press ahead as usual, but I'm not sure if doing that would always work. I don't mean using negs, that are unsuitable for online and are outdated for in person interactions. Do you have any suggestion/s on how guys can address in a funny or witty way in an opening message sent, the issue of females who are at least an 8, 9, or 10 or somewhere in between and their choice of profile pic/s.

These type of females are of course very photogenic and usually have very impressive profile pics up, but you wonder if with a couple profile pics sometimes offered up, if the lady knows what the hell she's doing.

Like using one profile as example, it's of a lady who's least a 9, is on a normal dating site and has almost 35 photos up. You couldn't complain about any of her pics, or a lack thereof, so she's got that well covered. Most pics are normal where she's looking attractive, but 3 are bikini pics and one pic shows her lifting up her
t-shirt to show her bra and her impressive cleavage, while she's standing next to a female friend.

I know guys can maybe sometimes misinterpret what might look like a chick trying to get a big rise out of males, for a lady who's instead maybe wanting to be photographically creative and likes photography. This lady does rather angrily mention in her re-modified profile text, that she's been getting a lot of really crap, sexually suggestive messages from losers and that she's not into any of that crap. It's tempting to say 'dude, what the hell did you expect from most AFC guys ?', but that wouldn't work. Have a nice Xmas Jon and thanks.