@JSmooth: Nah I wasn't making any assumptions, I just have slight OCD about things and am just a kind of weary sort, especially when it comes to the net and the like.

Honestly, I advocate having multiple photos of yourself on an online dating profile. Most other online dating guides will tell you the same thing all the way down to the tips on the site for making your profile better. It is no secret that guys who have multiple pictures will do A LOT better about 60% better getting responses than guys who don't so I can see their arguement and why they are asking you this.

You can either come up with something witty to say as to why or you can add more pictures increase your odds and eliminate the problem! If you don't have more pictures to use right now that's fine but concentrate on taking a camera with you as you do things and snap away. Just about everyone has a camera on their phone or small one they can fit in their pocket.

When I first got started I took pictures of me out hiking, canoeing, shooting pool, out with my friends, playing basketball, etc. I showed myself doing different active things that I enjoy doing.

You can certainly come up with a line like that but the truth is with online dating is girls want to see and learn as much about you as they can to make a decision on you. Your online dating profile is your first impression to a person. You want it to be good and you only get one chance to make a first impression with someone. If they see more pictures of you they are more likely to be comfortable with you and what you look like and more likely to meet you in person.

If you are still not wanting to add more pictures and go against the advice of the majority of online dating guru's out there then I suppose we can come up with a line for you to say, but I'm at a loss for what cause there really is no good reason for it.

Fair enough you never know who you may be talking to on here. There are some really good people on here with sound advice, and likewise there are some people on here who think they know their stuff but have never put it into practice and tried it out.

Jon thanks for your response. My problem is that I don't have good pics of myself doing such a things.As I told you I am new to online dating and I didn't know how important it is to have good pics. I'll do what you told me. (taking pics of myself.) Have you come up with any witty to say so that I could get rid of this question right now?

Can't you help me?

Thread Rule 2. I love to write but I'm not you're personal writer. I will answer all kinds of "How do I..." questions, but please take my responses and put them in your own words. If you do not, when you meet the girl she will notice there are incongruencies very quickly. The way I say things might not work for you, so take the concept and then write your own response please.

I appreciate the information you wrote me tells me a little bit about what you like to do, and just a touch about your personality but none of it is who you are down to the core. Asking me to write that for you would be like asking a blind man to paint a portrait of you. I just can't do it, and even if I did it wouldn't be accurate.

I don't want to leave you hanging so here is some of the stuff you want in a winning profile. The profile online is your first impression to a girl so you want to grab her the readers attention straight off with some questions or a statement about you that is unique to you. From there you want a paragraph or so about "Who you are" and what you like doing. Then you absolutely must include a paragraph about what you are looking for in a woman so she knows when she matches up to it. Then finally a line at the end to call them to take action and contact you.

It doesn't always have to be that linear but you want those elements in there. Throughout my example below I'm telling the girl about me and what I am looking for.

For instance here is my present profile....

IF you love to laugh, like to try new things, are adventurous, and like being in the great outdoors...then keep reading!

To me it is the little things that you do in a relationship that add up to make a difference like something as simple as, "Honey, how as your day?" You should like to have a good time being with the person you care about since I'm a very affectionate person. Whether that is cuddling on the couch to a movie on a rainy afternoon, playing pool, storm chasing, or doing something active like swimming or going for a long walk at the Greenway. One of the things you have to really understand about me is I'm always looking for the next fun thing to do...even after a hard day at work. Getting to go on random adventure for me...is like giving my cats catnip!

I hope you like big families. I have a lot of friends and family that are really important in my life. I don't know what I'd do without them. Then again there are those times I just want to fall of the face of the earth, and get away from it all. It's nice to find a camping spot, and turn off my cell phone.

I think most people agree that it's important to be physically attracted to someone and I feel the same way. With that being said its equally as important have a great personality, fun sense of humor, and a nice smile. =) I desire a girl that's not afraid to get muddy in a cave with me, or cleans up well for a night on the town!

Personality wise I tend to do better with people who are naturally happy since I am most always in a good mood. If you have good values and truly believe it's not where you end up in life but how you get there that counts is a BIG PLUS!

My best friends would describe me as outgoing, adventurist, kind, intelligent, funny, realistic, affectionate, analytical, and laid back. I am very kind to most everyone and sometimes that bites me in the butt because I go out of my way sometimes for the wrong people. I put all my time and effort into a relationship when I'm in one. Still, I like to have time with friends and I hope you can understand that.

I live my life by the quote, "All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing." ~ Edmund Burke. I truly believe I am put in situations for a reason, and you can either act or do nothing. I've done nothing before and I know what happens.

You should contact me if you are serious about getting into a relationship that will lead somewhere. I know that doesn't happen overnight. It helps if you are open-minded, easy to talk to, adventurous, affectionate, caring, and like to have
FUN!

Hope it helps out!

Thanks mate. Yeah I wasn't expecting you to write a profile for me, just to give me an idea of what to write and how to describe myself well, because as I said I'm not a very good writer and so I struggle online. It did help, I just hope I've re-written it well haha... Thanks

Hey Jsmooth,

Could really use your help, brother. My situation is this: I met an HB9 from Lavalife in person a week ago. Could not have went better... lots in common, great convo and some clear IOIs. The snag was that midway through the date she pulled out the "I just dumped" card and almost goes into tears. I changed the subject, made a few jokes and that was that. Afterward, I tried to set up a second date, but she flaked out using the ex excuse again. We were texting back and forth and I think I overnegged her to the point of putting her off.

So, today I noticed that she is on POF as well. Sent her a quick message and this was her response:

Me: LOL. Fancy seeing you here.
HB9: HAHAH you goof. What are you stalking me now?! haha. Jk.

Since, I texting doesn't seem to be working. I open to any suggestions you may at working online game to get myself back in the black again.

Thanks, dude!

Ecto

Hey JSmooth,

I've been digging around this thread a lot over the last couple of days - what a goldmine! Still only about a quarter of the way through the 78 pages so far.

I haven't found much information anywhere online about the differences between when you first meet a girl you've gamed online, and gaming a girl "in person" from the start.

I'm familiar with the Mystery Method, and from what I read, on first meeting after an online sarge, we'd be at about A2. However, A2 is all about DHVing and showing her disinterest as part of a group to get her to IOI. Does that really apply when you're meeting her 1-1? What would the differences be? Should I not show any interest at all, at first? Or just stick to teasing her, cocky and funny, and throw in a few DHV stories, then look for IOIs?

Not sure if this is off topic since the thread is mostly about what to actually do online, but to me it does seem relevant because it only applies to online. Anyway, I'd be really interested to hear what you have to say about this, as I'm meeting a girl off a dating site on Tuesday.


Thanks,

M/

Hey JSmooth,

First of all, thanks for making this thread, it's filled with some amazing information. I've got a bit of a toughie on my hands, HB8 that I'm really interested in but she has a rule against meeting people from online.

Me: So by the way, have you ever met anyone though pof, crazy or otherwise?
Her: i don't meet anyone from pof but yes iv talked to some unusual people
Me: Yeah talked to my share of nutters myself, thats too bad though because i was going to say you sound sane enough to hang out with sometime
Her: lol ya it does suck but i have a rule and im not willing to break it even tho you seem like a ok guy

Not sure what to do in this scenario, it seems like she has no intention of meeting up at all. Any suggestions?

You just have to build it back up the best you can. If you overnegged then leave the negs and the cocky comments alone for a while. Do your best to keep an open conversation going with her online through the dating site and get to comfort building. Give her more information about who you are and random things about you and find out more about her. You building comfort with her and finding more common ground should lead you back to being able to see her in person.

Jon

Prometheus,

Your question is completely relevant to online game and it's a good one to be asking. Since you are familiar with Mystery's M3 Model I'll do my best here to use that to show you what you want to do.

First of all, if she is about to meet you for a date you have to assume based on your profile and pictures there is some attraction there or she wouldn't be talking to you or considering meeting with you. Just as well if you get tot he point of a date she has to feel comfortable and safe enough to go out and meet you by herself. So you have both elements of attraction and comfort already there.

The answer is when you get on your date you want to touch back on the Attraction Phase for just a little bit. A2 is Female to Male attraction as you mentioned DHVing and hitting those attraction switches: Leader of Men, Protector of Loved Ones, and Pre-Selection, etc. You are going to want to convey maybe one or two stories to hit that attraction switch AGAIN. This reminds her of why she's on the date with you in the first place and keeps the attraction flowing.

You don't need to spend a lot of time on that but do touch on it. Make sure you give some SOI's or Statements of Interest for A3 Male to Female attraction where you are showing her you are interested and like her. You may simply say, "I'm really enjoying this..." or "I'm really glad we were able to meet today." You can make it more direct if you want of course.

Then from there you just follow down the model getting back to building comfort with her or common ground through stories about you, and finding out information about her as well. This way she sees that you both like each other and you have stuff in common to build on. That of course will lead you into kissing and so on.

I'm really glad you asked this question because it is a tough one to answer. You do go back through the model starting at A2 but you don't have to spend that long in Attraction because it's again assumed that she wouldn't be on the date with you if she wasn't attracted and interested in you. The reason I go back to it is just to get the emotions flowing again in a positive direction.

Hope this helps answer you questions. If you have anything else you need to ask before you date Tuesday just post up here and I'll help the best I can.

GOOD LUCK,

Jon

AychO,

You do have a tough one on your hands there. Consider that when she told you that she has this rule she did say "you seem like a ok guy" which does show some interest. The great thing about rules and personal limiting beliefs as you know they can be overcome.

The issue becomes time. You are going to need to work in baby steps with this one. Talk to her and get her comfortable enough to start talking off POF through Instant Messenger (IM). Then after talking on messenger for a while when you feel the time is right try for her phone #...text her or call her. Again keep building that comfort level and then you might just be able to take the next baby step to date cause she'll have been talking to you a while and know you better.

For some girls going from Online to Date is a BIG thing to swallow. If we cut it up into bit sized chunks of smaller commitments then we are more likely to get to our goal of meeting this girl. There is always a chance you hit the same brick wall because you can't changed where you met her, but if you are willing to put some time and effort in this is how you would do it.

Respectfully,

Jon S.

Thanks Jon - that answers my questions perfectly! I'll follow your advice.

It was an online straight to date with no phone (thought I'd give it a try! ) - I'm half expecting her to flake because I didn't really spend that much time chatting to her online. I'll maybe send her a text tomorrow and then call her to get a bit of extra comfort and avoid the flake.

But either way, I'm planning on doing a lot more online gaming in the future, so I'm sure your advice will come in very handy!

Hi J. I have a question

I have been writing to this HB8 on a dating site and was building good rapport, mainly talking about France and Paris since both of us has been there and love the city.

After about 5 mail I asks her about to meet over a bowling match or if she prefers a cup of coffe, talk about travels and laugh a little together.

Now If she answers postive or that we should talk more first or even not answers at all I have a plan.

But instead she answers very strange in the middle of the night, excusing herself in many ways for how tired she is and whay she is awake in that late hour. Ending the mail "How are you today"? Not mentioning a word about my intentions to meet.

So what to do? My first and only idea so far is to ignore her for a while and see if she writes again. What do you think? And if this is a good idea, for how long should I wait before I contact her again and most important.. what should I write?

It has now been about 24h since she wrote me and she has checking out my profile today a couple of times without writing again. She knows that i have read her last mail(this site works that way)

also I have a more general question about that topic, the girls can see exactly when I read their mails. Do you think it generally is a good idea to write back asap after i read their mail. Or wait a while?

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